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The Complete List of Bands That Have Succeeded In Spite Of RTTP

[views:5451][posts:55]
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[Jan 28,2014 1:53pm - RTTP DEPARTMENT OF YOU SHOWED US  ""]
MURRUM - Upper echelon elite of the practice space / pizza party scene. Had their black metal gang voided by the internet. Still going strong.

GRAVESIDE SERVICE - Blackened kvlt tag team partners with SCOTT CONNOR. Have successfully cultivated museum quality collections of their own merch.

VATNETT VISKAR - Made fun of by RTTP. Signed a Tom Cruise caliber deal with Century Media. Rubbed it in RTTP's face. Hired Kim Kelly as undercover PR agent to write fake reviews for them. Shortly after found out why no one relevant has signed with CM in 15 years. Successfully condemned to Deafheaven afterthought status forever.

INVERTICRUX Successful multi-disciplinary artist Raymond Stevens lead band who swore they didn't need RTTP's approval to make wave. Succeeded fully by making national headlines for lamest hate crime ever. Awaiting status as Varg-esque political outlaw / prison sponge.

NOCUOUS - Weeknight show warriors so successful they can spend hours complaining about how no one comes to their 3 local shows a week.

SHROUD OF BEREAVEMENT - Back from the dead... again. Exact same fanbase dead as hypothetically back together.

ARDUOUS TASK After a slew of free publicity from RTTP PC faggets are now a mere 1,336 Facebook likes away from 1,488 Facebook likes.

VACANT EYES Sans-ego funeral doom as seen on headliner-less local band fests

DUMPSTER FIRE Hit parader Dillinger Escape Plan ripoff that can literally get on ANY Metal Thursday it wants

PARADOXICAL SPIRAL Deep space guitar genius so successful that they don't even need to release music

SAINT TO SINNER International Pawtucket metal sensation currently awaiting Grammy vote re-count. So successful Bova completely transcended the need to do situps.
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[Jan 28,2014 2:27pm - Dan Hammer  ""]
Can Sonic Pulse get on this?
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[Jan 28,2014 2:31pm - Hel Seax  ""]
Why you do the stupid shit?
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[Jan 28,2014 2:42pm - Dan Hammer  ""]
Shut up, Carmine.
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[Jan 28,2014 2:46pm - largefreakatzero ""]
I lol'd.
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[Jan 28,2014 2:59pm - haha  ""]
now that's funny.
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[Jan 28,2014 4:45pm - Truth  ""]
Anderson Lynne Mar is a faggot.
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[Jan 28,2014 5:52pm - Fuck the Fire Department  ""]
Eagerly awaiting seeing all these failures at the 2014 Edition of the New England Punk Metal Goth POGs and Failure Fest at Lelacheur Park in Lowell, MA
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[Jan 28,2014 6:59pm - garyDiNardo  ""]
The Taste of Silver was fah fags dood.
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[Jan 28,2014 7:01pm - mike volpi  ""]
Aww did we hurt your feelings pointing out what hard ons that you guys have for my mexican cock
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[Jan 28,2014 7:16pm - Baby Volpi  ""]
PAPA NO!!!!! You must make money and pay your child support!!!!! Playing video games all day will not feed the village donkey and chickens! No bueno!!!!!
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[Jan 28,2014 7:28pm - Montezuma  ""]
I wouldn't have bothered resisting the conquistadors if I'd have known this was how it was gonna end up.
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[Jan 28,2014 7:54pm - BobNOMAAMRooney nli  ""]
Cuauhtémoc smdh
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[Jan 28,2014 7:55pm - Rich Bova  ""]
Ezekiel 25:17."The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."
 _________________________________________________________
[Jan 28,2014 7:56pm - RTTP DEPARTMENT QUERY BUILDERS  ""]

mike%20volpi said:Aww did we hurt your feelings pointing out what hard ons that you guys have for my mexican cock


Are you saying then that Nocuous does not play poorly attended local shows constantly with the same bands with the same results and use Facebook to gripe about spinning your wheels?

Hmmm?
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[Jan 28,2014 8:17pm - mike volpi  ""]
Nocuos speaks for itself people come to our shows bro you mad? Its ok you guys can confess your gay love for me I dont judge.
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[Jan 28,2014 8:24pm - Baby Volpi  ""]
Papa why u want make love to hombre? You no want to make more bastard
bebe.
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[Jan 28,2014 8:25pm - mike volpi  ""]
And dude bro guy whats with this department of crap just use your real name. Oh right trolls are not brave people. Besides, I think baby volpi has a huge crush on papa volpi
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[Jan 28,2014 8:28pm - mike volpi  ""]
No my baby volpi no more kiddo for papa volpi . Im sorry i wont be able to give you brothers and sisters
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[Jan 28,2014 8:30pm - mike volpi  ""]
Oh and by the way, I forgot to point out that i am indeed Mexican
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[Jan 28,2014 8:36pm - Baby Volpi  ""]
Papa NO!!!!
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[Jan 28,2014 8:39pm - JUDGE MILLS PEPELIS  ""]

mike%20volpi said:Nocuos speaks for itself people come to our shows bro you mad? Its ok you guys can confess your gay love for me I dont judge.


You're under oath Señor Volpi. Answer the question.
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[Jan 28,2014 9:10pm - BobNOMAAMRooney nli  ""]
Deadbeat dad in deadend band.
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[Jan 28,2014 9:40pm - fuck AssaJEWzits  ""]
JANSEN MCCORMICK IS A BIG FAT BITCH!!!!
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[Jan 28,2014 9:54pm - mike volpi  ""]
I love it how none of ya will say it to my face but you will troll it. How about this when you stop playing dnd get in real band and attend shpws then we'll talk until then good sirs ill continue slaying it on stage while you sit in your parents basements ;-)
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[Jan 28,2014 10:39pm - Baby Volpi  ""]
Papa no !!!!! Get job to support village!!!!!!
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[Jan 29,2014 12:24am - YES  ""]

fuck%20AssaJEWzits said:JANSEN MCCORMICK IS A BIG FAT BITCH!!!!


GLAD TO SEE I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS SO. Hope that fat flat brim hat wearing fucking fagget's weight catches up to him soon. Where's a good stroke when you need one?
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[Jan 29,2014 12:50am - long time lurker  ""]

YES said:
fuck%20AssaJEWzits said:JANSEN MCCORMICK IS A BIG FAT BITCH!!!!


GLAD TO SEE I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS SO. Hope that fat flat brim hat wearing fucking fagget's weight catches up to him soon. Where's a good stroke when you need one?



[img]
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[Jan 29,2014 12:57am - JUDGE MILLS PEPELIS  ""]

mike%20volpi said:I love it how none of ya will say it to my face but you will troll it. How about this when you stop playing dnd get in real band and attend shpws then we'll talk until then good sirs ill continue slaying it on stage while you sit in your parents basements ;-)


Just answer the question. Are any of the claims presented here about Nocuous INACCURATE? Yes or no?

I remind you that you're under oath.
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[Jan 29,2014 2:06am - mike volpi  ""]

JUDGE%20MILLS%20PEPELIS said:
mike%20volpi said:I love it how none of ya will say it to my face but you will troll it. How about this when you stop playing dnd get in real band and attend shpws then we'll talk until then good sirs ill continue slaying it on stage while you sit in your parents basements ;-)


Just answer the question. Are any of the claims presented here about Nocuous INACCURATE? Yes or no?

I remind you that you're under oath.



Under oath nocuous plays gigs of all sorts with many different outcomes just like every other bqnd sleep well my loving trolls dont let the bed bugs bite.

Ps thanks for the concern about the shows we play, imagine you left the dnd table to go to shows and support local music, but i understand how addicted to living in a fantasy world of things you'll never be able to do is appealing.
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[Jan 29,2014 4:11am - xgodzillax ""]
[img]


LOLFAG
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[Jan 29,2014 8:13am - King Thúnderstøol  ""]
I AM THE KING OF RTTP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[Jan 29,2014 8:14am - aspiring photographer  ""]
Things we'll never be able to do? Oh you mean take subpar pictures of meaningless things then spew it off like you're a professional photographer and out time and money and effort into it and nobody appreciates your hard work and dedication? Shutup_fagget
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[Jan 29,2014 9:24am - RTTP DEPARTMENT OF YOU SHOWED US  ""]
Our apologies. How did we ever forget about Volpi's booming photography business? This is truly a black mark on our department.

[img]
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[Jan 29,2014 9:37am - RTTP JUDICIAL BENCH  ""]
Need moar pics for evidence
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[Jan 29,2014 10:16am - xmikex ""]
All I have to say is that Raynard's public insistence that his band still has a future and that he's NOT going to jail for the "lamest hate crime ever" is absolutely mesmerizing. Any doubts that he's been living in another reality should now be erased.
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[Jan 29,2014 10:39am - mike volpi  ""]
www.facebook.com/skewedviews
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[Jan 29,2014 11:02am - RTTP DEPARTMENT OF HUH?  ""]

xmikex said:All I have to say is that Raynard's public insistence that his band still has a future and that he's NOT going to jail for the "lamest hate crime ever" is absolutely mesmerizing. Any doubts that he's been living in another reality should now be erased.


This retard still has a band?
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[Jan 29,2014 11:26am - xmikex ""]
Well after his arrest AND attempted suicide Raynard was still popping up all over Facebook pushing Inverticrux like nothing had happened. Kevin said he even contacted the Codex Obscurum page to try and get us to feature him as an artist.
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[Jan 29,2014 11:28am - the_reverend ""]
I thought he wanted to do that before his was caught with a sharpe
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[Jan 29,2014 11:33am - arilliusbm ""]
I, for one, would welcome a Codex Sharpie cover.
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[Jan 29,2014 11:41am - xmikex ""]

the_reverend said:I thought he wanted to do that before his was caught with a sharpe


He did. Andrew told him no thanks and he wrote back with something snarky and insulting about the zine being trendy and he didn't want to do it anyways. Then after the sharpie incident he wrote to Kevin... Again, like nothing had happened.
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[Jan 29,2014 12:14pm - RTTP DEPARTMENT OF ROD SERLING  ""]
Raynard finally gets all the free time in the world he always longed for to goto local shows and work on his art and music.
BUT ITS BECAUSE HE SOLD HIS BUSINESS AND WENT TO PRISON.

MUCH PLOT TWIST
SO COSMIC IRONY
AMAZE
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[Jan 29,2014 12:17pm - KEVORD ""]

the_reverend said:I thought he wanted to do that before his was caught with a sharpe
He actually contacted me a couple of times even after the sharpie arrest.
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[Jan 29,2014 12:22pm - Yeti ""]
Raynard "Doge" Stevens
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[Jan 29,2014 2:17pm - hlrie ""]
I still am amused that he shot himself in the head "at least once" trying to attempt suicide, and missed. How the hell does that happen? I mean, can he do anything right?
Raymissed
What a life.
 ________________________________
[Jan 29,2014 2:26pm - xmikex ""]
Raynard's upcoming project. Support.


bennyhillifier
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[Jan 29,2014 2:48pm - largefreakatzero ""]

KEVORD said:
the_reverend said:I thought he wanted to do that before his was caught with a sharpe
He actually contacted me a couple of times even after the sharpie arrest.



Did he contact you after he shot himself?

If so, were there any hilarious indications of (further) brain damage?
 ________________________________
[Jan 29,2014 2:53pm - KEVORD ""]
He was telling me how great Inverticrux is. That takes a lot of brain damage.
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[Jan 29,2014 2:57pm - largefreakatzero ""]
Crippling tone deafness + moderate retardation + partially vented skull = Inverticrux.
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[Jan 29,2014 11:45pm - Trolls OFFICIAL  ""]
I don't live in my mom's house, and her house doesn't even have a basement. It has a crawlspace. A crawlspace
I'd rather live there than be a deadbeat dad that bounces on my kids child support.

Besides, the last I heard you were the one living with your parents el señor Burzumo
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[Jan 30,2014 1:28am - Fuck thunderbean  ""]
I WILL ANAL FUCK THUNDERCRUST.

REPEAT: ANAL FUCK
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[Jan 30,2014 1:33am - 37 dicks  ""]
[img]
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[Jan 30,2014 2:00am - Divaldo-Gustavo ""]
DIMONIC REQUIUM SAID FUCK YOUS!
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[Jan 30,2014 11:00am - conservationist ""]
This is the funniest/meanest thread ever.
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[Jan 30,2014 12:18pm - Confusionus  ""]
success is in the eyes of the beerholder

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