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i did not know the Rapture was scheduled for this year

[views:8613][posts:57]
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[Jan 3,2011 3:27pm - Yeti ""]
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40885541/ns/us_news-life/

again, i really, really, really, really, really, really want this to happen. at this point, i'll take any form of apocalypse.
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[Jan 3,2011 3:37pm - FuckIsMySignature ""]
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?! WILL SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN???!!!!
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[Jan 3,2011 3:42pm - goatcatalyst ""]
Hmmm... What is the best way for me to exploit this and distress those who believe such grandiose fabrication???
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[Jan 3,2011 3:45pm - the_reverend ""]
remember all those posters up around new england on all metal posts that were about a judgement day 10/10/2002 or 2000 or something like that. There is still one of them on 93N going into salem. I'm going to try to take a picture of it.
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[Jan 3,2011 3:49pm - the_reverend ""]
http://www.bible.ca/pre-date-setters.htm

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[Jan 3,2011 3:57pm - xmikex ""]
So what I'm reading is that a religious group has ascertained a very specific date based on a vague if not absent explanation of how they got to that date, ignoring first that the bible said certain things (if I'm not mistaken, a massive and lengthy war that would turn the world inside out) would happen before Jesus came to thumbs-up all of the faithful to heaven, and second that this gimmic has been done more times than a melodic metalcore band at a VFW show.

Where do I put my credit card number?
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[Jan 3,2011 3:59pm - FuckIsMySignature ""]
[img]
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[Jan 3,2011 4:02pm - TheRidersofDoom ""]
Believe it or not in NH back in the 1800s entire villages in Coos county thought it was the end of the world based on a similarly vague calculation of a random bible reference and in fact they all went to the cemeteries to greet the risen dead who would then fly with them up to heaven.
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[Jan 3,2011 4:03pm - goatcatalyst ""]
I so earnestly want these pious faggots to suffer.
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[Jan 3,2011 4:03pm - AndrewBastard  ""]
what are all these people gonna do when like...you know....this DOESN'T HAPPEN?
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[Jan 3,2011 4:12pm - FuckIsMySignature ""]

AndrewBastard said:what are all these people gonna do when like...you know....this DOESN'T HAPPEN?


pick a new date and repeat the process.
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[Jan 3,2011 4:41pm - TheRidersofDoom ""]
http://www.nhpr.org/node/31355

"Atheists offer to take care of pets left behind by rapture-subscribers."
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[Jan 3,2011 4:43pm - goatcatalyst ""]
If it happens, I'm going to hose down rapturees with piss-filled Super Soakers as they ascend to faggot heaven
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[Jan 3,2011 4:44pm - AndrewBastard  ""]
wouldn't atheists know that this isn't actually going to happen, EVER thus these rapture-subscribers wont be going anywhere thus their pets will still have their insane owners to look after them...
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[Jan 3,2011 4:44pm - brian_dc ""]
they're making fun of them.
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[Jan 3,2011 4:45pm - brian_dc ""]
captain obvious, to the rescue
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[Jan 3,2011 4:47pm - AndrewBastard  ""]
aye captain aye
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[Jan 3,2011 4:52pm - FuckIsMySignature ""]

brian_dc said:captain obvious, to the rescue


only Captain Oblivious has jurisdiction here.
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[Jan 3,2011 4:58pm - mattvc ""]
I don't know the math is pretty solid: (Arbitrary number picked from a book of stories passed down through generations in the form of oral tradition much like a modern game of telephone) divided by (additional arbitrary number selected from the Hebrew Calendar without taking into consideration the hundreds of changes made to the Hebrew Calendar since the time of an arbitrary event from the game-of-telephone-esque story) = run screaming. Yup. I'm convinced.
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[Jan 3,2011 5:00pm - mutis  ""]
May 21st is my day of birth, and also the date I set aside for ending the world. I fucking hate it when christians steal my ideas.
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[Jan 3,2011 5:11pm - the_reverend ""]
there was a rapture on my birthday too 10/20. I need that photo!
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[Jan 4,2011 7:18am - Yeti ""]
[img]
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[Jan 4,2011 7:57am - largefreakatzero ""]
'"If May 21 passes and I'm still here, that means I wasn't saved. Does that mean God's word is inaccurate or untrue? Not at all," Warden said.'

It's hilarious how these cunts never feel shame or embarrassment when their cockamamie theories don't happen. I hope something horrible happens to everyone who believes this as well as their families.

If they are right, I'll see all you faggots in H-E-Double hockey sticks.
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[Jan 4,2011 8:08am - Yeti ""]
where you will eat naught but burning hot coals and drink naught but burning hot cola! where fiery demons will punch you in the back! where your soul will be chopped into confetti and strewn upon a parade of murderers and single mothers! where your tongue will be torn out by ravenous birds!
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[Jan 4,2011 8:28am - RustyPS ""]
does this mean all the dogs will be gone? :(

[img]
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[Jan 4,2011 9:54am - hauptpflucker ""]

goatcatalyst said:If it happens, I'm going to hose down rapturees with piss-filled Super Soakers as they ascend to faggot heaven
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[Jan 4,2011 11:15am - xmikex ""]
I went to their website, read their homepage and still don't see any actual case being made that would explain how May 21, 2011 is the date.
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[Jan 4,2011 11:16am - largefreakatzero ""]
JESUS TOLD THEM ISN'T THAT ENOUGH?
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[Jan 4,2011 11:29am - xmikex ""]
[img]

DUMBDUMBDUMBDUMBDUMMMMB
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[Jan 4,2011 1:13pm - mattvc ""]

xmikex said:I went to their website, read their homepage and still don't see any actual case being made that would explain how May 21, 2011 is the date.


There's a lot math that "makes sense" (in the sense that 1 + 1 =2) but they intentionally omit tiny little facts like how/why they choose the numbers they use. It's like saying I'm 27 and my birthday is the 14th, so I'm going to die when I'm 41 because 27+14=41. And as these people are dumb enough to believe in a biblical apocalypse, they're also dumb enough to go "yeah it does equal 41, he must be right".
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[Jan 4,2011 1:21pm - boxxy ""]
I've obviously heard of the Mayan calendar ending in December 2012, but I've never heard of the christian version of 2012 apocalypse.... very interesting..... ha.
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[Jan 4,2011 2:09pm - xmikex ""]
OH MY GAAAAHD....

[img]
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[Jan 4,2011 2:18pm - FuckIsMySignature ""]
whats a Q33NY
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[Jan 4,2011 2:49pm - mattvc ""]

xmikex said:OH MY GAAAAHD....

[img]



:shocked:
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[Jan 4,2011 3:00pm - xmikex ""]

FuckIsMySignature said:whats a Q33NY


It was the flight name/number of one of the 9/11 planes.
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[Jan 4,2011 3:20pm - FuckIsMySignature ""]
oh. thats dumb.
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[Jan 4,2011 3:26pm - mattvc ""]

xmikex said:
FuckIsMySignature said:whats a Q33NY


It was the flight name/number of one of the 9/11 planes.



It actually wasn't a flight or tail number of any of the planes BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE IT'S TOTALLY MAKES SENSE SO THE WORLDS GOING TO END IN MAY RIGHT?!
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[Jan 4,2011 3:32pm - FuckIsMySignature ""]
[img]
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[Jan 4,2011 3:35pm - Mutis ""]
"NYC" in web dings is pretty funny though.
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[Jan 4,2011 3:38pm - xmikex ""]
mattvc = anagram for vatacam OR Vatican
There are 6 letters in his name, and he's posted 3 times in this thread = 666
The book of Matthew contains exactly... you guessed it 911 verses.

Holy shit, this one goes all the way to the top:
[img]
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[Jan 4,2011 4:07pm - mattvc ""]

xmikex said:mattvc = anagram for vatacam OR Vatican
There are 6 letters in his name, and he's posted 3 times in this thread = 666
The book of Matthew contains exactly... you guessed it 911 verses.

Holy shit, this one goes all the way to the top:
[img]



There is so much wrong with that.. I MEAN..... Fuck, he's onto us, Saddam.
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[May 3,2011 9:28am - the_reverend ""]
5/21/2011?
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[May 3,2011 10:44am - Yeti ""]
NOW YOU COME CRAWLING ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES
YOU BEG FOR FORGIVENESS
SUCK ME TIL I BLEED!
AND FOR YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS, HERETICAL BLASPHEMY
THE PUNISHMENT IS DAMNATION, YOU'LL BURN INTERMINABLY!!!
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[May 3,2011 11:15am - goatcatalyst ""]

goatcatalyst said:If it happens, I'm going to hose down rapturees with piss-filled Super Soakers as they ascend to faggot heaven
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[May 3,2011 11:17am - FuckIsMySignature ""]
that sounds reasonable.
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[May 3,2011 11:40am - pam ""]

FuckIsMySignature said:BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?! WILL SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN???!!!!


My daughter told me she didn't believe in god when she was 5...guess me and the whole fam aren't making the cut.
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[May 3,2011 11:52am - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]

xmikex said:
FuckIsMySignature said:whats a Q33NY


It was the flight name/number of one of the 9/11 planes.



Q33NY actually refers to when a moose ejaculates butterscotch into the unsuspecting face of a malnourished eskimo baby.
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[May 3,2011 11:55am - Sacreligion ""]
These aren't the Noids you're looking for.

[img]
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[May 5,2011 3:29pm - Yeti ""]
http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/
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[May 5,2011 3:31pm - FuckIsMySignature ""]
LOL WUT

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