simpsons thread, you dildos[views:15903][posts:83]_________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 10:27am - xmikex ""] alright alright alright...... 1. Simpsons WAS one of the most intelligent programs on television. It was a brilliant satire for years, now it's caved into the same pandering, and groveling for laughs that it always made fun of in other sitcoms. Homer might as well be a UPN caliber character at this point. It's insulting. 2. Sex In the City an intelligent show? The punchline to every joke is "So then I went home and masterbated with a dildo." An hours worth of boring broads sitting around talking about sucking off dudes, getting older by the second. That show was painful. And any one of those dry witted bitches would have let me stick a Warlock guitar up their ass, body first. 3. Arrested Development, and the Office are the two best comedies on television right now. Both highly original, use a great mix of both subtle, and over the top humor, well thought out, and unfortunately doomed. Neither of those shows will be around a year from now because all great shows like that are doomed. Is Arrested Development still on the air? 4. How about The Cosby Show? To date one of the most subversive sitcoms ever. Instead of doing yet another sitcom about illiterate poor black people sitting around getting poorer and stupider they did a show about intelligent black folk. Instead of another outrageous premise about robot daughters, or aliens or something stupid they went for realism. It pissed off black people, and it pissed off everyone who'd eventually watch Alf but they were still on the air for almost a decade. Great show. |
| _________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 10:30am - xmikex ""] Homer: Well, I need something for my son's birthday. Owner: Ah, perhaps this will please the gentleman. (points to a talking Krusty doll) Take this object. But beware! It carries a terrible curse. Homer: Oooh, that's bad. Owner: But it comes with a free Frogurt! Homer: That's good! Owner: The Frogurt is also cursed. Homer: That's bad. Owner: But you get your choice of topping. Homer: That's good. Owner: The toppings contain potassium benzoate. (Homer stares blankly) That's bad. Homer: Can I go now? Timing is the key to delivering this joke. They don't have timing like this on the Simpsons anymore. |
| _______________________________ [Jul 20,2006 10:33am - Yeti ""] good cause i got a hot date tonight BZZZT a date BZZZZT dinner with friends BZZZZT dinner alone BZZZZT aariiiight, i'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies in the victorias secret catalog BZZZZT sears catalog DING |
| _______________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 10:43am - Anthony nli ""] xmikex said:Homer: Well, I need something for my son's birthday. Owner: Ah, perhaps this will please the gentleman. (points to a talking Krusty doll) Take this object. But beware! It carries a terrible curse. Homer: Oooh, that's bad. Owner: But it comes with a free Frogurt! Homer: That's good! Owner: The Frogurt is also cursed. Homer: That's bad. Owner: But you get your choice of topping. Homer: That's good. Owner: The toppings contain potassium benzoate. (Homer stares blankly) That's bad. Homer: Can I go now? Timing is the key to delivering this joke. They don't have timing like this on the Simpsons anymore. one of the best right there, love that scene |
| _________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 10:46am - xmikex ""] Yeti said:good cause i got a hot date tonight BZZZT a date BZZZZT dinner with friends BZZZZT dinner alone BZZZZT aariiiight, i'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies in the victorias secret catalog BZZZZT sears catalog DING alright alright! get this thing off of me! i don't deserve this kinda shabby treatment! BZZZZT |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 10:53am - ShadowSD ""] xmikex said:alright alright alright...... 1. Simpsons WAS one of the most intelligent programs on television. It was a brilliant satire for years, now it's caved into the same pandering, and groveling for laughs that it always made fun of in other sitcoms. Homer might as well be a UPN caliber character at this point. It's insulting. I don't see how you could say that. What about that political episode in early 2003 where The Simpsons are thrown into the "Ronald Reagon reeducation center"? This episode is not only brilliant and hilarious but an incredible statement of free speech and dissent. At that time in this country, everyone was putting flags on their car and conforming themselves to a political homogeny unbecoming of any democracy. This episode was even before Howard Dean's primary campaign, so NOBODY at this point was standing up and dissenting about ANYTHING regarding, as Lisa perfectly put it, "this climate of repression and fear" (after she says that, everyone in town grumbles, ending with the Texan yelling "sit down, Saddam!"). I also love the moment in this episode where they do a dance number in the prison talent show to distract the guards so they can break out, and then a guard comes on the stage and, like he's a character in a play/musical, swoons: "They've escaped!". You kind of have to see that one though (like many of the best Simpsons quotes, the timing can not be communicated in print). I don't know, I just don't understand all The Simpsons bashing (outside perhaps some episodes in the most recent season); I've been watching the show in syndication everyday, comparing old episodes and new, and there really isn't any drop in quality. The only difference is that the older episodes remind me of watching the show when I was growing up, and maybe that feeling is what everyone really misses. |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 11:06am - ShadowSD ""] xmikex said:2. Sex In the City an intelligent show? The punchline to every joke is "So then I went home and masterbated with a dildo." An hours worth of boring broads sitting around talking about sucking off dudes, getting older by the second. That show was painful. If all you remember are dildo jokes, you definitely missed the intelligent parts. Sex in the City was brilliant when it came to Carrie's articles/monologues, they were very clever uses of philosophy and metaphor to put intangibles like love and interpersonal relationships into perspective against more tangible parts of life (and vice versa). Those parts of the show are some of the smartest and best written television ever, and incredibly thought provoking. I think even if you want to take the perspective of "I'm a dude, I don't want to watch a show with chicks because I don't identify with them", there is still so much in it for us guys to learn about the female thought process, something that we need every bit of that we can get. (I also want to point out that anyone who watches the TBS version has not seen the show, because they edit it to shreds.) |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 11:10am - ShadowSD ""] xmikex said:4. How about The Cosby Show? To date one of the most subversive sitcoms ever. Instead of doing yet another sitcom about illiterate poor black people sitting around getting poorer and stupider they did a show about intelligent black folk. Instead of another outrageous premise about robot daughters, or aliens or something stupid they went for realism. It pissed off black people, and it pissed off everyone who'd eventually watch Alf but they were still on the air for almost a decade. Great show. Putting a show like this on the air was a huge statement, and a groundbreaking shift. I watched this series from beginning to end with my folks when I was growing up. However, I would not say that the writing was the most intelligent or even close, that wasn't the goal of the format. Most good 80's sitcoms were fun to watch, but none of them were remotely smart compared to the other shows we're discussing here, the writing was way more concerned with being accessible than being highbrow. |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 11:18am - ShadowSD ""] OK back on topic... there are a ton of awesome Lenny and Carl quotes, too. Milhouse (stuck between two trees): Lenny! Carl! Can you help me! Lenny: Sorry, we can't, we're ghosts now. Carl: Our spirits live in those two trees. Lenny: Or maybe we're still alive, and we just feel like jerking you around. Carl: Or maybe we're one of each... (They walk away) Also, some of the show's best moments are a bunch of grumbling ending with a barely audible comment, often made by Lenny: Adult Education Teacher: "See that car outside? They made one for me, one for Steven Spielberg, then they shot the guy who made it." Classroom: *grumbles in disbelief and awe* Lenny (barely audible): "wow, I'd hate to be in that union": |
| _____________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 11:19am - anonymous ""] the goal of the cosby show was to put black people into a positive perspective. the episodes and dialogue were entertaining but didn't exactly send thought provoking political messages, aside from black people who actually don't drink 40z. shocker. |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 11:20am - ShadowSD ""] Ha, exactly. |
| _________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 11:21am - xmikex ""] ShadowSD said:xmikex said:4. How about The Cosby Show? To date one of the most subversive sitcoms ever. Instead of doing yet another sitcom about illiterate poor black people sitting around getting poorer and stupider they did a show about intelligent black folk. Instead of another outrageous premise about robot daughters, or aliens or something stupid they went for realism. It pissed off black people, and it pissed off everyone who'd eventually watch Alf but they were still on the air for almost a decade. Great show. Putting a show like this on the air was a huge statement, and a groundbreaking shift. I watched this series from beginning to end with my folks when I was growing up. However, I would not say that the writing was the most intelligent or even close, that wasn't the goal of the format. Most good 80's sitcoms were fun to watch, but none of them were remotely smart compared to the other shows we're discussing here, the writing was way more concerned with being accessible than being highbrow. See that was what was great about The Cosby shows. It wasn't so much concerned with writing. It was about creating a situation and letting Cosby loose in it. His acting carried the show, and everyone followed him. Hell, half the time there wasn't even a plot, it was just Cosby fucking around. |
| _________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 11:27am - xmikex ""] ShadowSD said:xmikex said:2. Sex In the City an intelligent show? The punchline to every joke is "So then I went home and masterbated with a dildo." An hours worth of boring broads sitting around talking about sucking off dudes, getting older by the second. That show was painful. If all you remember are dildo jokes, you definitely missed the intelligent parts. Sex in the City was brilliant when it came to Carrie's articles/monologues, they were very clever uses of philosophy and metaphor to put intangibles like love and interpersonal relationships into perspective against more tangible parts of life (and vice versa). Those parts of the show are some of the smartest and best written television ever, and incredibly thought provoking. I think even if you want to take the perspective of "I'm a dude, I don't want to watch a show with chicks because I don't identify with them", there is still so much in it for us guys to learn about the female thought process, something that we need every bit of that we can get. (I also want to point out that anyone who watches the TBS version has not seen the show, because they edit it to shreds.) Personally I think the show was able to fake being intellectual by being so analytical. The meat and potatoes of the show, however (at least from what I've seen) is still really superficial, pretentious, involving characters I can't find any way to identify with. I've actually never heard a dude be so into Sex and The City and it's pretty interesting to hear. But when it comes down to it this show, to me just seems like a 60 minute day dream about what every Allston girl thinks she is. |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 11:37am - ShadowSD ""] xmikex said:I've actually never heard a dude be so into Sex and The City and it's pretty interesting to hear. It's because of the way the show is presented and marketed. When my girlfriend originally tried to get me to watch it, I was like no fucking way, that's a stupid, superficial chick show, and Sarah Jessica Parker is a butt-ugly moron; she practically had to beat me to get me to give it a chance. I don't give a fuck about shoes or fashion or superficiality, but once you watch it for a while you see that that's not really the heart of the show at all. See, what struck me as I entered into my first relationships as a teenager was that there was NO preparation at all for the amount of drama and craziness that a woman can unleash. Sure, couples have been depicted on TV forever, but they are never looked at in those terms. The relationships depicted in Sex in the City actually reveal how quickly a couple can go from total optimism to falling apart, and how little shit can take its toll on the best relationships. It also gives some perpsective on the seemingly crazy shit that women do. |
| _______________________________ [Jul 20,2006 12:51pm - Yeti ""] its all about Rescue Me |
| _____________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 12:53pm - anonymous ""] i can't watch that show without picturing dennis leary singing "asshole" the entire time. it sucks. |
| _______________________________ [Jul 20,2006 12:55pm - Yeti ""] i totally forgot that Denis Leary was the dad of the new kid on The Sandlot |
| __________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 3:23pm - powerkok ""] xmikex said:powerkok said:O well nothing, pound faces in!!!!!! And fuck that skeezer sideways..... Get off the internet and do the dishes, pig!!! There. behave yourself. we're dropping this now. cool? Oh Im sorry, did I offend you by bashing a friend of yours? Fine, now were even then......dropped |
| __________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 3:24pm - powerkok ""] Yeti said:its all about Rescue Me Fuck ya bro......my fav non hbo show. Great show. |
| ________________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 4:25pm - grundlegremlin ""] :wiggam:No Ralphie I like your grilled crayon sandwich.:ralphie:Can you taste the thumbtacks? |
| __________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 4:30pm - powerkok ""] homer pointing to globe... "You are gay" (Uraguay) |
| ________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 4:33pm - xmikex ""] :stupidflanders: Tip top notch! [img] Okily dokily. :stupidflanders: Thankily dankily! mmmm...Great-ilicious! [img] Scrump-diddley-eriffic! :stupidflanders: [img] Fine and dandy like sour candy! |
| ____________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 4:36pm - anonymous ""] Ned: I've got family here from around the globe. Here's Jose Flanders. Jose: Buenos Ding dong didlyos, senor. Ned: And this is Lord Thistlewick Flanders. Thistlewick: Charmed. [Ned nudges him in the back.] Eh, a googily...doogily. |
| __________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 4:52pm - ShadowSD ""] Great quote. One minor correction... anonymous said:Jose: Buenos Ding dong didlyos, senor. Jose: Buenos Ding Dong Diddly Dias, Senor. |
| __________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 4:55pm - ShadowSD ""] This one probably isn't exact but close enough... Homer: I was working on something, and I accidentally disproved the existence of God. (hands paper to Flanders and walks away) Ned: Let me see here.... well maybe he made a mistake... nope, it's airtight! Can't let this one see the light of day! (Torches it) |
| __________________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 5:55pm - dwellingsickness ""] powerkok said:O well nothing, pound faces in!!!!!! And fuck that skeezer sideways..... Get off the internet and do the dishes, pig!!! There. I knew I liked ya for some reason:NEWHORNS: I was just tryin to be nice and not have a lengthly arguement with some fuckin loser on the internet |
| ________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 6:38pm - XmikeX ""] dwellingsickness said:powerkok said:O well nothing, pound faces in!!!!!! And fuck that skeezer sideways..... Get off the internet and do the dishes, pig!!! There. I knew I liked ya for some reason:NEWHORNS: I was just tryin to be nice and not have a lengthly arguement with some fuckin loser on the internet Yeah that's the last thing anyone wants. Unfortunately "some fucking loser" brought it up again hours after the fact. We're on quotes now. If you want to bicker with somebody go steal your mother's bath pillow. |
| _________________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 7:09pm - CaptainCleanoff ""] http://www.thesimpsons.com/index.html |
| ____________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 10:21pm - Todd NLI ""] Easy there pal, I did not see Powerkok's post were you 2 came to the agreement to drop it..So, whatever...I am done with you now |
| _____________________________________ [Jul 20,2006 10:33pm - anonymous ""] dick. |
| ______________________________ [Jul 20,2006 11:02pm - pam ""] I'm not reading all this, but I saw the movie teaser the other day...can't wait. |
| _____________________________________ [Jul 23,2006 12:15pm - sphincter ""] i got a quote and its from the 2nd season: "Why you're the fattest thing i've ever seen, and i've been on safari!" |
| _______________________________________ [Jul 23,2006 12:23pm - hungtableed ""] BEST SIMPSONS QUOTE EVER: from the episode when Princple Skinner was caught making in the closet with Mrs. Krabappel and the town was considering re-hiring them after the fallout Flander's wife: We're talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N Krusty: Sex cauldron? I thought they closed that place down? |
| ___________________________________________ [Jul 23,2006 12:25pm - Bogus Rendition ""] George Bush: ...Good memiours. Now! Let's have a look at that old out board, see if we can't rattle a few windows down Kennybunkprot next May. |