Strange things your co-workers have done[views:11305][posts:92]____________________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 8:49am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] There's a short, old Mexican dude named Ramon that works at my temp job who just found a quarter in a toilet that was removed from the bathroom 2 weeks ago. The toilet still had remnants of shit all over it, and he was not wearing gloves. He also rubbed battery acid on it with his bare hands. I don't know what the fuck was going through his head during that process...all for a quarter? |
| _____________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 8:57am - orgymf@work ""] dude...all i work with is strange people. my friends Joe and Trevor are paranoid conspiracy theorists we have a 60 year old man named Donald as an accountant who is like a cross between Rain Man and Milton (from "Office Space") and hates everyone we have a creepy old Haitian dude who turns everything everyone says into sexual innuendo, and hits on every woman who comes to the counter (age, race, appearance unimportant....as long as she is over 18) we have a dude who is 36 year old "class clown" who will yell stupid shit like "hey look at me" from behind a doorway when you walk accross the research room, or make fart noises if you're on the phone or talking to a hot chick at the counter a 6'6 jewish guy who lives for anime, eats a strict diet of ice cream and potato chips, and treats customers like they are retarded children. and a 20 year old jock/wigger kid who thinks nothing is more important than sports. |
| __________________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 9:05am - MikeofDecrepitude ""] My Hispanic employee's display vindictive behavior's, especially damaging the vehicle's or personal property of their enemies in the work place. It's usually over misunderstandings or petty squabbles. As a white person, it's strange to me that they can't get along with their own kind; going as far as to violently threaten one another during staff/employee meetings. |
| ____________________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 9:08am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Oh yeah? Well there's a real live Canadian here. |
| _____________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 9:08am - orgymf@work ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:Oh yeah? Well there's a real live Canadian here. no kiddin eh? |
| _____________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 9:10am - the_reverend ""] one of the guys here had RATT play a party in his back yard in the 80's in california. |
| ____________________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 9:11am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] I caught a dude humping a pole here one day...no one else was around. |
| _____________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 9:13am - orgymf@work ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:I caught a dude humping a pole here one day...no one else was around. was it your pole? |
| ____________________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 9:14am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] I wish! |
| _____________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 9:18am - orgymf@work ""] haha |
| ________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 9:19am - ScmFck ""] i work with a dude who had a star wars themed wedding... |
| ______________________________ [Dec 4,2008 9:24am - dftg ""] My boss told me he used to jerk off at work. I need to find a different job. |
| ____________________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 9:26am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] When I worked at a food distributor there was a dude named Rob who would always brag about his "hot" girlfriend. Turns out she looked like a fatter version of Hank Hill with tits and a wig. We got a pallet with pigs on it for a pig roast, and one of the older employees started slapping one of the pigs' ass, humping the air, yelling, "Look, I found Rob's girlfriend!" |
| _______________________________ [Dec 4,2008 9:39am - xmikex ""] I once had to sit through an interview with human resources while they were investigating a suspension against my boss. Here's a list of questions I was asked. "Has anyone in the office ever physically threatened anyone. Perhaps demanded that they *shuffle* 'give them their lunch money?'" "Have you ever witness anyone forcing another employee to dial a phone number that would spell out a swear word... like 'boobs' or 'boner?" I laughed at the phone number one, and asked the guy if he was serious. He was red face pissed at me for asking. This isn't even the fat guy that I'm always complaining about. Give me a second and I'll put together some of his latest debacles. |
| ____________________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 9:50am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Hahaha, boner. |
| _____________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 9:52am - orgymf@work ""] xmikex said: "Have you ever witness anyone forcing another employee to dial a phone number that would spell out a swear word... like 'boobs' or 'boner?" I laughed at the phone number one, and asked the guy if he was serious. He was red face pissed at me for asking. how could he be so mad. you are human, how could you NOT laugh at a retarded question like that. i would have fallen over laughing! |
| _______________________________ [Dec 4,2008 9:56am - xmikex ""] Okay, recent fat guy from my office mishaps: - He called me on his day off to tell me that something was wrong with one of our computers. Every time he pushed the 1 key it would type an exclamation point. To this day he probably has no idea that he was just holding the shift key. - He threatened to sue the university, and called in sick the next day out of protest for having to do work during what he randomly designated as his 30 minute meal break. This is in spite of the fact that he had already eaten lunch, he had done nothing all day, and everyone else was busy. - Frequently asks me "So what kind of band are you in, grunge, or new-wave?" and talks over me while I tell him I don't know what either of those terms mean. - While alone in a room with a female co-worker he shook up a magic 8 ball, celebrated over the answer he got, and then informed the female co-worker that he had asked the 8 ball if they would "get frisky" that evening. - Approached me at my desk to ask me how a magic 8 ball works. |
| _______________________________ [Dec 4,2008 9:57am - xmikex ""] Oh, and the female co-worker from the above story is now his immediate supervisor. |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 10:09am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Hahaha, amazing. I kind of wish I had an annoying fat guy at work. Instead I have annoying average guys. |
| ___________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 10:19am - joeycobra ""] I have one co-worker I can't stand....everything about them just makes me furious. she has a fake laugh she uses all to frequently....and her comedic timing is awful. I wouldn't mind so much if she wasn't ALWAYS trying to be funny. She reminds me of when adults are at a family party and one of the younger children is trying to fit in and hang out with the "grown-ups" |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 10:21am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] You should totally fuck her just to prove a point. I don't know what point that would be though. I'm just bored. |
| _____________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 10:33am - ouchdrummer ""] xmikex- that fat guy sounds hilarious. I have a coworker that didn't have a star wars themed wedding, but they did have the JOP mention "The force" and "Jedi" and "padawan" and "harry potter" and "some other stupid fucking harry potter stuff" in their ceremony. I LOVE star wars, so i loved that, but harry potter ruined it. They played "the imperial march" during the garder toss, they had a jedi figurine, and a Leia Organa figure on the cake. It was awesome............... the only sad part was he was marrying my sister. true story. I have a scientologist in my work. He is the shadiest, craziest, little cult member i have ever met. He will ask people if they can use their laptops to do work, then search on them for all pic and video files, then foward any offensive ones to the regional manager. He was at a bar, and went right up to one of my clients that happened to be drinking their (the beantown pub) and started drinkin with him. (They only knew each other because he dropped off one of my projects to him for me.) Keep in mind this "client" is an Attorney/Partner in one of Bostons top ten firms. He started telling him he should convert to the "true way". He also tried to kiss a girl that was brought their BY my client.... i should tell you that this scientologist also has a condition called Aspergers, which is a little like a very mild form of autism. He doesn't really get social signals, and doesn't understand emotion. So, my clients buddy punches him in the face. He comes back to the office and calls me, my partner, my boss, and the regional manager...... to complain about my client. I bet you can all guess where that went. I had a "ya dude" coworker from Jersey. He was driving to CT to drop off a rush job to a law firm, and was speeding because my boss told him too. got pulled over, told the cop he was speeding because his boss told him too, and the cop said that "your work can pay for the ticket too" and he came into work expecting IKON to pay for the ticket, and the raise in his insurance....hilarity ensued. |
| ______________________________ [Dec 4,2008 10:38am - Yeti ""] i don't really see my co-workers DOING anything weird, they are just weird in general. |
| ___________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 10:52am - dreadkill ""] my coworkers all seem pretty normal. i wish we had some weirdos, but i haven't discovered any yet. |
| _________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 11:18am - RustyPS ""] orgymf@work said:we have a creepy old Haitian dude who turns everything everyone says into sexual innuendo, and hits on every woman who comes to the counter (age, race, appearance unimportant....as long as she is over 18) Is he like The Todd from Scrubs? bennyhillifier |
| ____________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 11:19am - arilliusbm ""] we just hired this new dude a few weeks ago and all he does is stare at people. it's fucking creeping me out, he's two desks over. he's staring at me right now. WTF? |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 11:26am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] You should make kissy faces at him, or play "gay chicken" with him. I'm sure he'd be more creeped out by you at that point. |
| ____________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 11:33am - arilliusbm ""] I was thinking more along the lines of putting white out on his chair, so when he sits down and gets up again, there'd be a white spot all over his pants |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 11:43am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Haha, an excellent plan. |
| _____________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 11:57am - ouchdrummer ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:You should make kissy faces at him, or play "gay chicken" with him. I'm sure he'd be more creeped out by you at that point. wait wait wait...... "Gay Chicken"?? like go in for a kiss and wait till he moves? What if he's down for the kiss? Is the joke really worth that possibility?.... i think it is. lulz |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 12:06pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Sometimes you gotta make sacrifices, ya know? |
| ______________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 12:42pm - orgymf@work ""] RustyPS said: orgymf@work said:we have a creepy old Haitian dude who turns everything everyone says into sexual innuendo, and hits on every woman who comes to the counter (age, race, appearance unimportant....as long as she is over 18) Is he like The Todd from Scrubs? bennyhillifier haha....worse. i told a story about him at my first comedy show. when he saw on the video that i referred to him as an old creepy haitian dude, he grabbed me by the ponytail and rubbed his hand on my chin and asked "you want to see creepy? because you don't know how creepy i can get biggie, i will show you my big black one eyed snake" at which point i understood exactly how every girl that's ever heard me tell a rape joke felt |
| _________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 12:52pm - RustyPS ""] orgymf@work said: RustyPS said: orgymf@work said:we have a creepy old Haitian dude who turns everything everyone says into sexual innuendo, and hits on every woman who comes to the counter (age, race, appearance unimportant....as long as she is over 18) Is he like The Todd from Scrubs? bennyhillifier haha....worse. i told a story about him at my first comedy show. when he saw on the video that i referred to him as an old creepy haitian dude, he grabbed me by the ponytail and rubbed his hand on my chin and asked "you want to see creepy? because you don't know how creepy i can get biggie, i will show you my big black one eyed snake" at which point i understood exactly how every girl that's ever heard me tell a rape joke felt That's fucking insane.....WOW |
| _________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 1:35pm - archaeon ""] I am the king of gay chicken. I just work with a bunch of jailbait sluts and go to the bathroom every 5 seconds to fap. I'm the strange co-worker. |
| __________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 2:37pm - dreadkill ""] i'm probably the strangest person at my workplace. |
| ___________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 2:38pm - arilliusbm ""] Did you end up getting a job? (weren't you looking for one?) |
| ______________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 2:39pm - thebloodening ""] i have a guy who literally talks about anything and everything 12 hours a day...i blatently ignore him and he keeps talking...i sometimes find him talking to himself and he also makes grunting noises when he's searching the internet, either cuz he's overweight or something else is going on... aside from that dude, i have a russin guy who was in the kgb-most likely has an ak-47 in his suit jacket. |
| ______________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 2:40pm - thebloodening ""] oh ya, i also have a dwight schrute here as well, fucking weirdo he always is violently moving his head back and forth from shoulder to shoulder |
| ____________________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 3:33pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] There's a dude here who just talks non-stop, sometimes just saying numbers, names, half lines of song lyrics that he fucks up all the time and just random sounds. He sounds like that basketball announcer who yells a lot, like, "IT'S IN THE HOLE BAAABBYY!" |
| ____________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 5:34pm - farten_dust ""] Dudes i work with: Mr Magoo(6 foot 8,clubfooted ,blind dude with the mind of a child). Peekachoo(from trinidad, always high as hell trying to steal my brushes). sergio#1,sergio#2,lau,and daniel,(brazilian dudes who talk loud as hell(in portuguese)all day long, and grab your ass every chance they get. |
| __________________________________________________________________________ [Dec 4,2008 6:10pm - Why are all third world countries multicultural? ""] dreadkill said:i'm probably the strangest person at my workplace. Me too. I am the strange co-worker who everyone is afraid of because he's a realist and doesn't participate in collective denial. |
| _______________________________ [Dec 9,2008 1:30pm - xmikex ""] I took a personal day yesterday, and the fat guy had to cover this one singular job for me. The problem is that this job involved putting less than a paragraph of text into fields on a computer, which is way more than he's capable of handling. I came in this morning to find out that he completely fucked everything up, showed up late for the job, and tied up half my department trying to get someone to tell him what to do. I wrote this guy detailed instructions on how to do it. Made a screen shot of how it should look. AND gave him a document file with all the necessary information to use so he could just copy, and paste it instead of typing it. And he still couldn't handle it. And when he came in this morning (a half hour late), were the first words out of his mouth an apology for screwing up a job that I'm more or less responsible for? No. What I got was this: Fat guy: Oh hey, Mike. Do you hit "ENTER" to change between the fields, or "TAB?" Me: Enter. Fat Guy: Oh cuz, I hit TAB, and... Me: You can't hit tab. It'll submit the info before you're done entering. Fat Guy: Yeah, I know, cuz whenever I hit ENTER I have the same problem and... Me: THEN STOP IT. It was the most productive conversation I've ever had with him. 10 minutes later he was in a shouting match with no one in particular about how he demands comp time for a decade's worth of lunch breaks that he was refused. |
| __________________________________ [Dec 9,2008 1:41pm - dreadkill ""] arilliusbm said:Did you end up getting a job? (weren't you looking for one?)yeah, i was looking for a while. i've been at the job since october, doing multimedia stuff (mostly designing ads with animation and video). it's exactly what i was looking for, so i'm happy with it. |
| ___________________________________ [Dec 9,2008 1:44pm - arilliusbm ""] sweet. how did you land that? |
| __________________________________ [Dec 9,2008 2:13pm - dreadkill ""] found it on craigslist. i had known about the company for a while and wanted to work there, so i went in for a couple of interviews and they liked me. |
| ________________________________ [Dec 9,2008 2:21pm - c.DeAD ""] dftg said:My boss told me he used to jerk off at work. I need to find a different job. HAHA, thats awesome. One time a girl got her ass kicked at a OBGYN office I was working at. She got housed so bad she had a black eye, bloodied nose and scratches all over her big white knockers. kinda hot. |
| ________________________________ [Dec 9,2008 2:28pm - oscarct ""] xmikex said:Okay, recent fat guy from my office mishaps: - While alone in a room with a female co-worker he shook up a magic 8 ball, celebrated over the answer he got, and then informed the female co-worker that he had asked the 8 ball if they would "get frisky" that evening. - Approached me at my desk to ask me how a magic 8 ball works. haha |
| ____________________________________ [Dec 9,2008 2:38pm - ouchdrummer ""] dreadkill said:i'm probably the strangest person at my workplace. I think a high percentage of posters here could claim the same. I definitely could. |
| ___________________________________ [Dec 9,2008 2:41pm - arilliusbm ""] ^^ Agreed. About 98% of my co-workers lack any form of creativity and do not think outside of the box. I like to view things from different perspectives and analyze things from an artistic point of view. Seems like no one else in my office does that. They just go about their mundane lives. |
| _____________________________________ [Dec 9,2008 3:34pm - orgymf@work ""] ouchdrummer said: dreadkill said:i'm probably the strangest person at my workplace. I think a high percentage of posters here could claim the same. I definitely could. oddly enough, i may be the weirdo of the group on rttp.... but at work, i am considered on the sane side, compared to the other nutjobs here |