50 Ways to piss off a metal head (from another board)[views:5219][posts:18]__________________________________ [Sep 13,2004 6:56pm - Lynneaus ""] hahaha this cracks me up 50 ways to piss off a metalhead -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. Tell them every metal band worships the devil. 2. Ask if all black metal bands are trying to copy KISS or just most of them. 3. Hide their joint under their library card. 4. Ask if they know of any other cool bands like Slipknot. 5. If they're listening to metal, tell them it sounds like some mainstream band. Doesn't matter who. 6. Say it's all a ripoff of Iron Butterfly anyway. 7. Ask if they've given their souls to Jesus yet. 8. Vaguely imply that you're gay and would like their company for the evening. 9. Record over their Cannibal Corpse albums with other Cannibal Corpse albums and see if they ever notice the difference. 10. Refuse to accept their fake I.D. 11. Ask how much Dio got paid for his role as Stuart Little. 12. Use the phrase "cookie monster vocals" and act like it's the funniest, most original thing you've ever come up with. 13. If they're listening to metal, tell them "These guys don't have talent. Now, those guys have talent!" 14. Say "What is vinyl?" 15. Point out how stupid Manowar is. If they agree, which they shouldnt, tell them the only thing more stupid is Black Sabbath with Dio. 16. Tell them it all sounds the same. 17. Admit that Cliff Burton was a dirty hippy who had already peaked musically. 18. If they say they love 80s metal, ask them what ever happened to Poison. 19. Tell them you like underground music too, like Godsmack. 20. Point out that Tarja from Nightwish can't sing. 21. Insist that Emperor videos would be better if they used a dance troupe. 22. Ask if Mayhem is Marilyn Manson's band. 23. Divert their CD shipments to the local community center. 24. Write "God Loves You" on their Venom backpatch. 25. Point out that just about every genre of music has an underground with bands who have integrity, so metal really isn't that unique. 26. Post under their nickname on a power metal board and say Ray Alder shits all over John Arch. 27. Take out the Iron Maiden disc and put in 50 Cent. 28. Give them a spiky pop-punk haircut while they sleep. 29. Pronounce "Celtic Frost" correctly. 30. If they're over 25, say that people can still rock even if they have an unplanned child or two and drive a grocery getter. Then point and laugh. 31. Tell them you're not hiring and to try the other Cinnabon down the street. 32. Sit quietly and applaud politely at a metal show. 33. Make them be sober for five whole seconds. 34. Ask if Randy Rhoads was on the same flight as John Denver. 35. Tell them Korn brought metal back to life in the 90s. 36. Turn the bass way up on their stereo. 37. Laugh at Slayer for stealing their name from the Buffy show. 38. Call Doro fat. 39. Call them on their horrible grammar and/or spelling. 40. Remind them that metal is partially derived from the blues. Then accuse them of being widgets. 41. Use the phrase "balls in a vice" at least three times when talking about classic metal and/or power metal vocalists. 42. If it's a guy with long hair, address him as if he were female. Don't correct yourself about it. 43. Be impressed with how much RoadRunner Records has improved over the past ten years. 44. Say you love Metallica's debut, The Black Album. 45. Notice that Lemmy hasn't moved his left hand in 30 years of playing bass. Haha. 46. Refer to metal as "that kill-your-father rape-your-mother stuff." 47. Ask them if their favorite band is so good, how come nobody has ever heard of them. 48. Pine for the good old days when Pour Some Sugar On Me was a big hit. 49. Tell them you used to be a metalhead, but grew out of it when you started listening to more intellectual stuff . 50. Post a list of "Ways To Annoy Metal Fans" knowing full well that so many of them internalize everything and can't take a joke. |
| ___________________________________ [Sep 13,2004 7:00pm - Dissector ""] 9. Record over their Cannibal Corpse albums with other Cannibal Corpse albums and see if they ever notice the difference. That one was hilarious!!!! The rest I think are stupid. |
| ______________________________________ [Sep 13,2004 7:11pm - the_reverend ""] hey! that's aimd at me isn't it? |
| ________________________________ [Sep 13,2004 7:21pm - Assuck ""] its funny cause my douche-bag cousin said like 3 of those things to me last weekend. and then i made him pee himself. |
| ___________________________________ [Sep 13,2004 7:23pm - Dissector ""] Hell I say half of those things. Ecpecially number 8. tehehe. |
| __________________________________________ [Sep 13,2004 8:07pm - intricateprocess ""] the kill your father rape your mother one is so true i cant tell you how many times i have seriously heard someone say that to me |
| ___________________________________ [Sep 13,2004 8:08pm - Dissector ""] Really? Because usually I hear "Rape Your Mother Kill Your Father". |
| ______________________________ [Sep 13,2004 8:18pm - blue ""] for me, its usually kill your mother, rape your dog. |
| __________________________________________ [Sep 13,2004 8:50pm - TheGreatSpaldino ""] the funny thing is... i can tell the difference between every Cannibal Corpse album... although the last two can be sort of tough to distinguish sometimes... |
| _______________________________________ [Sep 13,2004 9:49pm - Joe/NotCommon ""] 22. Ask if Mayhem is Marilyn Manson's band. Hahaha. |
| ___________________________________ [Sep 13,2004 11:20pm - Kalopsia ""] the cannibal corpse one is just stupid |
| ____________________________________ [Sep 13,2004 11:23pm - Paul FOD ""] lol some good shit there I had some kid actually ask me If I litsened to "that kill ya mother shit" it was quite funny |
| _________________________________ [Sep 13,2004 11:52pm - Abbath ""] 35. Tell them Korn brought metal back to life in the 90s. hahahahahha awesome! just reading this list was pissing me off |
| ________________________________________ [Sep 14,2004 12:45am - dEoDIUMmORTIS ""] I always refer to power metal as "clamp on your balls." I even co-wrote a power metal tribute song of the same title. |
| _____________________________________ [Sep 14,2004 12:48am - BornSoVile ""] hahah, i always tell random people it's "kill yah mutha kill yah father" music, or "cut your flesh and worship satan shit" |
| __________________________________ [Sep 14,2004 1:22am - Kalopsia ""] Paul FOD said:lol some good shit there I had some kid actually ask me If I litsened to "that kill ya mother shit" it was quite funny i used to get that all the time in high school. i hated it so much |
| ______________________________________ [Sep 14,2004 3:21am - the_reverend ""] [img] |
| ____________________________________________ [Sep 14,2004 4:37am - Todd(bombshelter) ""] 47. Ask them if their favorite band is so good, how come nobody has ever heard of them. That has to be my favorite one. |
| ____________________________________ [Sep 14,2004 10:13am - Mike FOD ""] Paul FOD said:lol some good shit there I had some kid actually ask me If I litsened to "that kill ya mother shit" it was quite funny "Kid, you listen to ISIS, kill your mother shit??" Worst guy... |