the gay test[views:1426][posts:9]_______________________________________ [Sep 16,2004 11:27am - the_reverend ""] If you are over 30 and you have a washboard stomach, you're gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and rather you've been sucking-off the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaayming Fag. A cat is like a dog, but Gay: it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're the poster boy for GAY. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby-dummies, boiled lollies or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks stubbies, shots, bar-b-q ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, cray-fish guts, pickled eggs, or titties. Anything else and you are in training to suck El-Dicko and undeniably a Fag. If you refuse to have a shit in a public toilet or piss in a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases. A real man will shoot, shit, sleep where ever he likes If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop-chute. Coffee has to be had strong, black (or with thick, wholesome milk) and full-aroma. A pussy-eating man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim or with a twist of lemon" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a dick in there too. If you know more than six names of colours or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out a free pass to your arse. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the NFL, NBA, NHL and Nascar. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fresier" is, you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious! If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it... you're hungry for man sausage. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at slow-arse drivers or to cut the motherfucker off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat his hamburger, hold his beer, finger the bitch in the passenger seat (whoever she happens to be), or talk on his mobile phone. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous sonnez le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly. So follow the rules and beware. Or keep that shit to yourself, you flamming faggot! If your name is Steven, Neil, Dallas, Gavin, Frank, Brett, Bruce, Craig, John, Andrew, Robert, Laurie/Larry/Lawrence, Scott, James, Howie, Phil, Ray, Miser, Damian,Terry, Matthew or Luke, then stop living in denial. You're a dung punching arse bandit from way back and everyone knows it |
| ______________________________________ [Sep 16,2004 11:27am - RustedAngel ""] DOGS ARE FUCKING GAY. [img] |
| ___________________________________ [Sep 16,2004 11:42am - succubus ""] wait.... how many of those make a guy gay? |
| ___________________________________________ [Sep 16,2004 11:42am - WhyamIandasshole ""] If you enjoy giving your buddy a good rigorous hand job while watching Commando does that make you gay? |
| ________________________________________ [Sep 16,2004 11:44am - Joe/NotCommon ""] WhyamIandasshole said:If you enjoy giving your buddy a good rigorous hand job while watching Commando does that make you gay? Obviously not, Arnold is in Commando. |
| ________________________________ [Sep 16,2004 11:46am - moran ""] WhyamIandasshole said:If you enjoy giving your buddy a good rigorous hand job while watching Commando does that make you gay? You own a cat. |
| ________________________________________ [Sep 16,2004 11:47am - Joe/NotCommon ""] my brother Ed's cat is a homosexual. |
| ___________________________________________ [Sep 16,2004 12:04pm - WhyamIandasshole ""] Yeah, but my cat is awesome. He aint one of those queer cats. |
| _________________________________ [Sep 16,2004 12:55pm - Abbath ""] you know in the hulk tv show they didn't call him bruce banner, because the company thought bruce was too gay of a name |
| ___________________________________________________ [Sep 16,2004 1:22pm - human bone death machine ""] cats are cool when they leave little carcasses on your back porch. brutal farm raised cats is where its at. they kill everything! |