Some reading for those of you bored at work like me[views:1987][posts:2]_____________________________________ [Oct 13,2004 3:52pm - Josh_Martin ""] Some of these are pretty funny. My favorite is the Angry Mule - A - Alaskan Pipeline - When you take a piece of shit, freeze it and stick it up someone else's ass like a frozen shit butt plug. Almond Jogging Suit - multi-man bukkake Ambushed Paddington - Your banging a broad and you pull out just in time only to finish all over her teddy bear. Anal Ropeburn - When you wipe your ass too much, mainly due to the fact that you had too many shits in a short period of time. Angry Dragon - When a girl gives you a blowjob and you cum so hard it comes out her nose Angry Mule - When you are mounted doggy style on a girl and you whisper into her ear, "I have Aids!" and then try to hold on until you cum. See also "Brooklyn Rodeo". Angry Pirate - Girl is giving you blowjob but you tell her you don't want to finish her mouth (play the nice guy angle). Instead, you hold her head close as you finish in her eye (right eye preferable). As she's stumbling around like a drunken hobo, you kick her in the shins really hard. As you're running away, peek over your left shoulder. If you've done everything right, you should see an angry pirate! Angry Spider - an uncleanly asshole Applause From The Back Row - When a man is doing a woman from behind and his balls slap her ass so fast it sounds like applause. Arabian Goggles - 1. when you place your balls over a chick's eyes. 2. When someone places their balls over another person's eyes while they are asleep. Ass Cactus - a particularly pointy and jagged feeling dump that hurts your ass on it's way out. Ass Gasket - those sanitary paper things that separate your ass from the toilet seat in public restrooms. Austrian Rinse Cycle - taking a piss during anal sex Axe Wound - term for Vagina - B - B.M.W. - "Butt to Mouth Wash" - the transfer of your junk to your partners mouth during anal sex. See Also "Boston Shocker" and "Dirty Musket". Backyard Jersey Sprinkler - fucking a girl in the ass and then shooting your load all over her ass and back Bad Weld - the uneven seam on the underside of a dudes scrotum that holds the two halves of the sack together. Bagged Lunch - you take a dump in your tighty-whities and then take them off and beat a girl over the head with them. Baltimore Blowfish - when your eating an ass and they fart causing your cheeks to blow up like a blowfish bastard boy floyd - when you grab a chick by the pig tails while pounding her from behind. just before you blow your load, you forearm her to the face twice blackening both of her eyes. Bavarian Mudslide - Girl is lying on her back while propped up on her elbows slobbing your knob, and you take a dump that slides down her chest, causing skidmarks, just like in the old bavaria country Bellbrook Burnout - when you pull out during anal sex and notice a little derby on your prick so you slap her in the face with it leaving a nice skid mark. Benedict Arnold - 1. When you are banging a girl from behind and you fake orgasm by spitting on her back only to blow it in your own hand and rub it in her face when she isn't expecting it. 2. When you are sitting in a bathroom stall and a guy sitting next to you asks for a roll of toilet paper and when he reaches under, you shit in his hand. Biscuit Grief - the trouble that ensues after eating your partners shit realizing that their diet was less than desirable that day. Blind Puppy - when during a blow job the girl rubs your junk all around her mouth like a blind puppy looking for it's mothers nipple. Bloomin' Onion - a prolapsed colon Blow Out the Jake - take a shit Boston Pancake - When you shit on a girl's chest and slam it repeatedly with your balls until its flat and then cum all over it as syrup. Boston Shocker - the transfer of your junk to your partners mouth during anal sex. See Also "B.M.W" and "Dirty Musket." Boston Teabag - when you spill on a girls tits, lower your balls into the mess, and then stamp her forehead with them. Bowling Ball - when you stick your thumb in a chick's ass and then your middle and index fingers in her vag. Also known as a "Brunswick" or the "Gutter Ball" Brainwash - when a guy orgasms while really far back in a girls throat Brazilian Manflower - when a man tit-fucks a woman backwards and farts in her face Brooklyn Rodeo - See "Angry Mule" Brown Boxer - anal fisting Bubble Gum Gag - Stick your bag out of your pants and tell your friends you have bubblegum on your pants. Everyone will look only to find your creepy ball sack. Bullwinkle Surprise - When you are fucking a girl from behind and you hold your hands over your head like antlers while making all sorts of moose noises, then when she turns to see what all the commotion is about you punch her in the grill. - C - Cajun Hotstick - while chewing tobacco and fucking a girl you pull out your hog, spit on it, and throw it back in her. California Carwash - when you blow a load all over a girl's face and rub your member back and forth in it C.C. Van Sixx - that's when you stay up for three days doing a ton of blow and never stop talking, next thing you know she leaves the house and you never even fucked her. Channeling Pavarotti - when a girl handles your nuts roughly during a blow job Chicken Cutlet - while banging on the beach you pull your dick out, dip it in the sand, and put it back in her Chili Dog - crapping between a girl's tits then using the shit as lube for a titty fuck. Chocolate Hostage Release - to take a dump Cleveland Steamer - to take a shit on one's chest. Also known as the "Hot Lunch" and "Tapered Discipline" Clogged Lizard - to insert a Q-Tip into the hole of the penis then get jerked off Coney Island Whitefish - a used condom floating in the water Crab Ladder - the trail of pubes that go from the tackle to your belly button. Also known as the "Happy Trail". Crazy Lenny - 1. sexual act in which a guy runs from one side of the room to his waiting partner at the other side and trying to "stick" the landing. one point for vag, two points for balloon knot. Also known as the "Grudge Fuck". 2. when two girls are getting it on in front of a photographer and then decide to jerk the cameraman off while he's still filming or taking photo's. Creamy Renaldo - the act of cumming in a buddy's ear while he is asleep - D - Dana Brittingham - is when you take a chick to a motel and make her pay for it. Then you fuck her, and make her load the gear after the show. Day At The Spa - the act of shooting a load in your hand then rubbing it in a chick's face Defecation Detour - when your using the urinal and mid piss you realize you better get to the stall. Derby - little bits of shit left on your cock after anal sex Dirty Bagpipe - to accidentally fart during a blowjob Dirty Charles - When you take a shit in a toilet and grab it our by hand and put it in your girlfriend's purse. Dirty Cell Phone - while banging a chick from behind you stick your finger in her ass then pull it out and stick it in her ear and ask, "Can you hear me now?" Dirty Eel - after anal sex you remove your used condom and slap the girl in the face with it Dirty Musket - see "Boston Shocker" Dizzy Gillespie - See "Rusty Trombone" Dog in a Bathtub - when you stuff your creepy nut sack into a chick's ass. It will be as hard to keep in there as a Dog in a Bathtub. Donna Anderson - when you bang a hooker, and then make her pay you the $200.00. Donkey Punch - when you are doing a girl from behind, preferably in the ass, and just as you are about to cum, you punch her in the back of the head to make her "clench" up giving you an intense tight orgasm. Dracula Tea Bag - a tampon. Dusty Sundae - when you fart on someone's ice cream before giving it them - E - Eiffel Tower - when one guy is fucking a chick in the ass and the other is getting head from her and they "high five" over her head - F - Factory Rod - a dildo Feeding the Five Thousand - eating a chick with a yeast infection. (When Jesus fed the 5000, he gave them fish and bread). Filthy Arab - when you pull your unit out of a chicks ass and it is covered with crap Filthy Carmex - when you apply shit from your ass to someone else's lips Flying Dutchman, The - much like the Cleveland Steamer except the person who just shit jumps and lands on the shit smearing it all over the recipient Flying Squirrel - when you remove just you balls and stretch them apart with both hands creating a flying squirrel Frothy Walrus - When you toss so much goo into a girl's mouth that it comes out her nose. Fruit Basket - As you moon somebody, push your penis and balls toward their person, under your ass - G - Glass Bottom Boat - the act of stretching plastic wrap over someone's face and taking a dump on it Golden Douche - the act of pissing into a girl while fucking her Golden Enema - same as above only in the ass Golden Lobster - the act of pissing in your hand and then pinching your girlfriend's twat or nose Gooch - the piece of skin between your balls and asshole. aka "Taint," "Nug," "Chode," and "Grundel" Grocery Blast - to vomit Grundel - the piece of skin between your balls and asshole. aka "Taint," "Chode," "Gooch," and "Nug" - H - Hawaiian Shower - when ejaculating you create a series of spurts that land an inch or so away from each other in a straight line. when done it should look like the map of the Hawaiian Islands. High Five - 1. when you take a dump so big it "slaps" your balls on the way down. 2. slang term for HIV Hillbilly Sunrise - when you wake up getting morning head only to find it's actually your sister and yet you don't stop her. Hot Air Balloon - when you suck a fart out of someone's ass Hot Carl - when you stretch plastic wrap over one's face so they can enjoy the warmth. also know as the "Hot Plate" Hot Pocket - when you are fucking a chicks ass and she farts Hovering Wash Cloth - when you are taking a bath and you grab and stretch your sack with both hands to resemble a hovering or floating wash cloth Hurly - the act of puking into someone's ass. Best results are when you place lips tightly over ass like blowing up a balloon. - J - Jani Bon Neil - when you shove bon bons up a chick's ass, and then make her kneel to suck you off while you're blasting "Down Boys" on the stereo. Jelly Donut - when you splooge on a chick's face then punch her in the nose making it bleed. Jersey Turnpike - when you stick your middle finger up someone's ass while jerking off Jim Henson - when you are fisting someone so hard that you actually lift them off the ground making it seem like they are a puppet. John Wayne Toilet Paper - low quality toilet paper....it's rough and tough and doesn't take shit off anybody. John Wilkes Booth - fucking a girl from behind while sticking her head in the toilet and flushing - K - Kentucky Snow Plow - ramming a chick from behind so hard that you keep knocking her head into the headboard of the bed King Louie - an erection Kinky Garden Hose - when a girl gives you a handjob and as your about to spill, she squeezes your dick really hard making it impossible to ejaculate Korean Hot Plate - to shit in someone's ear while they are asleep - L - Landing Gear - this is what it's called when your balls get really tight when you are about to shoot one Lemonade Stand - to piss on someone who's laying down while you are standing up Listening for the Train - when a woman's head is down to the floor during doggy style as if she's listening for a train Lucky Pierre - the guy who gets fucked in the ass while fucking someone himself during a gay/bi sexual threesome Lucky Stranger - the act of putting your hand to sleep and then jerking off with it making it feel as if someone else is doing it. Also known as the "Scary Uncle". - M - Manhattan Transfer - when one person takes a shit into a shirt then stuffs it up someone else's ass Milwaukee Moon Pie - when you take a sip of beer, then by pressing your lips over your girl's asshole, you blow the whole sip of beer into her. Sucking the beer back out refers to a "Milwaukee Transfer". Monkey Crotch - the name of the condition when your ass crack, ball zone, and thighs have that annoying irritation and with every step you take, it feels like you've got drawers full of salty potato chips. Monroe Transfer - the act of two people shitting into the same tube at the same time Muddy Mississippi - when you take a piss up a chick's ass just before she takes a shit Mule Lip - a vagina Mutton Barracuda - a penis - N - Nolan Fastball - the act of blowing your goo into your hand then throwing it in some poor sap's face. Also known as "The Nolan Heat" or substitue your favorite pitcher's name. - O - Old Henry - when you make your fat friend run around for a while to get all sweaty then you titty fuck him Ostrich Matrix - when you fuck someone in the ass after burying their head in the sand. when they suffocate, you take a dump on their corpse to complete the act Ozzy Stilbourne - when you fuck a chick with a rubber bat while she's on the rag, and then you complain that her pussy is getting blood on your bat. - P - Padlock, The - when you stick your own dick up your ass Paranoid Butcher - a gay man...."has his meat delivered around the back." Park Bench - when your in a threesome with 2 chicks and one sits on your face while the other rides your cock and they kiss making you look like a bench of sorts Pearl Harbor - when in the middle of regular sex, you 'sneak attack' your girlfriend by sticking it up her ass without any warning Pearl Dragon - when you are getting oral and you smack the girl on the back of the head as you blow your load causing it to shoot out her nose. Penalty Box - the act of pulling your shirt tightly over a chicks head and punching her lights out while she's blowing you Pile Driver - fucking a hemroid ridden asshole Pirate Eye - screaming, "Arr Matey!!" while shooting a load in a chick's eye Porcelain Blowhorn - the loud amplifying effect a toilet gives an average fart Printing Press - when you need a ridiculous amount of toilet paper to clean your shitty ass - R - Rabid Raccoon - when you pull shit from one's ass and rub it across their eyes making 'em look like a raccoon Red Allen - the blowjob your girl gives you when she's on the rag and you can't have sex. Rogaine Sanchez - when you smear shit all over one's bald head making it appear as though they have hair Roman War Helmet - when the man drapes his cock down over the chick's nose and positions his balls over her eyes to look like the traditional Roman helmet used during battle Rotten Julio - the act of whacking off and taking a shit at the same time. Rusty Bullet Hole - anus Rusty Eyepatch - to shit in or on someone's eye Rusty Lawnmower - when you shove a bundle of sandpaper in a chick's ass, tie her by a rope to your car's bumper, and drive at a slow speed so she has to jog to keep up. Rusty Pitchfork - the act of sticking 4 fingers in your partners ass Rusty Trombone - when a girl is eating a guy's ass then gives him a reach around making it appear as though she's playing a trombone - S - Saskatchewan Snowstorm - the act of jizzing in an ice tray, freezing it, and using the goo cubes in someone's rum cocktail. Sleeping Bag - an uncircumcised penis. Slump Buster - the "less than desirable" chick you bang after a long sexless dry spell. After throwing one to the hag, you'll be swinging for the fences in no time. Shallow Hal - when you have sex with a girl who is nine months pregnant Shy Rooster - a penis that appears to be rather small when flaccid but once aroused becomes impressively huge. Sloppy Joe - when a guy shits in a girl's vagina Smokeless Ashtray - putting out your cigarette on a chicks wet pussy Spawn Jellyfish - when you accidentally put on the sock you use as your "goo rag" and as you walk around you end up re-hydrating the crusty dried load, creating a sorta foaming jellyfish feel in between your toes. Splintered Clarinet - the chaffed and raw condition of one's junk after whacking your bag way too many times in a single day, often requiring a "cooling off period". Spokes - the lines on ones asshole. St. Louis Steamer - aka "The Cleveland Steamer" - T - Taime "Sex" Slaughter - when you dress in drag, have sex with a chick, and then kill her after you're done. Technicolored Laugh - to puke Texas Belt Buckle - when you pull your bag up to where your belt buckle should be outside your pants Texas Doily - When you rub your horrifically itchy butt crack on the arm of a friend's chair. Texas Grab Bag - when you accidentaly knock a girl up, then wait 6 months, rip the fetus from her wretched womb and beat her over the head with it. The Cut That Never Heals - a vagina Tumble Weed - when you get road head and right after you spill, you open the door and toss the bitch out - U - Ugly Stanley - the face a girl makes during her orgasm - W - Wilmington Deluxe - fucking a chick's armpit - Z - Zombie Rod - the state of your penis after a marathon sex session where the head of it is numb and no longer has feeling |
| ___________________________________ [Oct 13,2004 4:04pm - Jellyfish ""] Josh_Martin said: Spawn Jellyfish - when you accidentally put on the sock you use as your "goo rag" and as you walk around you end up re-hydrating the crusty dried load, creating a sorta foaming jellyfish feel in between your toes. |
| ____________________________________ [Oct 13,2004 6:26pm - handinjury ""] Texas Grab Bag - when you accidentaly knock a girl up, then wait 6 months, rip the fetus from her wretched womb and beat her over the head with it. Sloppy Joe - when a guy shits in a girl's vagina Old Henry - when you make your fat friend run around for a while to get all sweaty then you titty fuck him hahahahahah, thats funny shitz. |