george carlin tonight[views:6221][posts:34]___________________________________ [Nov 9,2004 4:08pm - who cares ""] Brookline Booksmith presents George Carlin in person Tue Nov 9 6:00 coolidge corner theater Reading from his new collection "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops". Tickets $2.00, available from Brookline Booksmith. |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 9,2004 4:20pm - dugoxistance ""] sold out days ago. |
| ________________________________________ [Nov 9,2004 4:31pm - litacore cares ""] GC is the shit |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 9,2004 4:54pm - dugoxistance ""] indeed. I hope to make it to the book signing but I'm all sorts of gimpy today. |
| _______________________________ [Nov 9,2004 6:59pm - retzam ""] I saw him at the Melody Tent this summer. Unbelievably funny. |
| _________________________________________ [Nov 9,2004 7:48pm - DaveFromTheGrave ""] "Think about how stupid the average person is. Realize that half of them are stupider than that." |
| _______________________________ [Nov 9,2004 7:52pm - retzam ""] DaveFromTheGrave said:"Think about how stupid the average person is. Realize that half of them are stupider than that." hahahahahahahahaha |
| _________________________________________ [Nov 9,2004 8:00pm - DaveFromTheGrave ""] retzam said:DaveFromTheGrave said:"Think about how stupid the average person is. Realize that half of them are stupider than that." hahahahahahahahaha One of my favorite quotes of his |
| _______________________________ [Nov 9,2004 8:04pm - retzam ""] Hahahaha, when I saw him he came out and said this big long monologue that was basically a clever rhyme/tongue twister. And then after that he immediately went "Well that's over with. Hey! Do you know what no one talks about anymore?? Pussy farts!" hahahahahaha |
| _______________________________________ [Nov 9,2004 9:14pm - JonahBloodbath ""] he was really good tonight. |
| _________________________________ [Nov 9,2004 9:21pm - Davidson ""] My friend and I saw him a little while ago and he was making jokes about kids in the suburbs that wack off and choke themselves at the same time and then they end up suffucating themselves and their parents find them. Funny shit. |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 9,2004 11:28pm - the_reverend ""] I read "pussy farts" and almost blew icecream on my laptop |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 11:45am - litacore ""] I never fucked a ten, but one night I fucked five TWO's! |
| _____________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 11:47am - PaganMegan ""] Make fuck not kill |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 11:50am - litacore ""] hahaha Megan don't work TOO hard today! :o) |
| ____________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 2:56pm - PaganMegan ""] Don't worry I won't break my back , sigh, this is such a tough job |
| __________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 2:58pm - succubus ""] don't tell me you 2 trouble makers work together too?? |
| ________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 3:00pm - retzam ""] the_reverend said:I read "pussy farts" and almost blew icecream on my laptop hahahahahaha |
| ________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 3:00pm - retzam ""] Davidson said:My friend and I saw him a little while ago and he was making jokes about kids in the suburbs that wack off and choke themselves at the same time and then they end up suffucating themselves and their parents find them. Funny shit. Hahahahaha yeah, there is a term for it, he did that bit when I saw him too. |
| ____________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 3:05pm - PaganMegan ""] No we don't, she just knows I am at work and is busting my proverbial balls |
| __________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 3:08pm - succubus ""] proverbial balls heh i like that one |
| __________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 3:19pm - ram_girl ""] And words, you know the seven don't you? Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits, huh? Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that will infect your soul, curve your spine and keep the country from winning the war. Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits, wow. Tits doesn't even belong on the list, you know. It's such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname. 'Hey, Tits, come here. Tits, meet Toots, Toots, Tits, Tits, Toots.' It sounds like a snack doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is, right. But I don't mean the sexist snack, I mean, New Nabisco Tits. The new Cheese Tits, and Corn Tits and Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits Onion Tits, Tater Tits, Yeah. Betcha can't eat just one. That's true I usually switch off . But I mean that word does not belong on the list. |
| __________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 3:20pm - succubus ""] you can say tittie bar though |
| __________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 3:23pm - ram_girl ""] OR 1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? 5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. 7. What if there were no hypothetical questions? 8. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? 9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is nowoman around to hear him...is he still wrong? 10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? 11. Is there another word for synonym? 12. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? 13. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" 14. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? 15. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? 16. Would a fly without wings be called a walk? 17. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? 18. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? 19. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? 20. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? 21. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? 22. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? 23. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? 24. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? 25. What was the best thing before sliced bread? 26. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people. 27. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algae-bra? 28. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 29. How is it possible to have a civil war? 30. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too? 31. If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry? 32. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? 33. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it? 34. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"? 35. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? 36. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? 37. Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket? 38. If the "blackbox" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? 39. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 3:30pm - the_reverend ""] 9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is nowoman around to hear him...is he still wrong? pricelessssss... |
| __________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 3:32pm - ram_girl ""] I want an answer to number 38 38. If the "blackbox" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 4:12pm - the_reverend ""] the answer: don't fly |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 4:47pm - dreadkill ""] george carlin makes me chortle |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 4:50pm - the_reverend ""] stop making up words! |
| _______________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 6:13pm - dugoxistance ""] I've been waiting 19 fucking years to meet that man and last night my fucking back was in so much pain that I couldn't walk and had to miss it. I actually cried. |
| ______________________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 6:33pm - rev away in macland ""] he's probably one of the funniest people ever. makes me said that one day he'll go back in time and stop himself from making bill and ted's excellent adventure. party on rufus! |
| _______________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 7:42pm - dugoxistance ""] don't forget Conductor on Thomas the Tank Engine. |
| __________________________________ [Nov 10,2004 9:07pm - Davidson ""] Davidson said:<<My friend and I saw him a little while ago and he was making jokes about kids in the suburbs that wack off and choke themselves at the same time and then they end up suffucating themselves and their parents find them. Funny shit.>> retzam said:<< "Hahahahaha yeah, there is a term for it, he did that bit when I saw him too." I believe the term was auto-erotic asphyxiation or something like that. |
| ___________________________________________ [Nov 11,2004 12:14am - intricateprocess ""] i saw him in............some place i forget where on august 13th. hes still intense "so,how many ladys here have jerked off a horse? hmmmm, well, i jerked off a reindeer once.......hey? whats wrong with that, we met on the roof, we were fucked up on eggnog" |
| ________________________________ [Nov 11,2004 8:59am - retzam ""] Davidson said:Davidson said:<<My friend and I saw him a little while ago and he was making jokes about kids in the suburbs that wack off and choke themselves at the same time and then they end up suffucating themselves and their parents find them. Funny shit.>> retzam said:<< "Hahahahaha yeah, there is a term for it, he did that bit when I saw him too." I believe the term was auto-erotic asphyxiation or something like that. haha yep that's it |