I need a blowjob.
[views:17654][posts:112]_____________________________________
[Nov 23,2004 4:00pm - Christraper ""]
Any volunteers?
:thescream:
[Nov 23,2004 4:02pm - the_reverend ""]
here you go
http://www.bestofhumor.com/html/Blow-Job-Pumpkin.html
[Nov 23,2004 4:05pm - armageddonday ""]
I thought you had a girlfriend?
[Nov 23,2004 4:32pm - ram_girl ""]
Guess the boss still hasn't given you that blonde polished yet, huh?
[Nov 23,2004 4:34pm - Christraper ""]
No i havent received my well deserved under the desk penis polisher and my girlfriend has some sort of phalluphobia. She likes getting fucked wicked hard but hates touching cock and god forbid i ask her to suck on it. Youd think with all the head i give her shed get over it but i guess not. I like getting head goddamnit!!!!
[Nov 23,2004 4:38pm - RustedAngel ""]
Christraper said:No i havent received my well deserved under the desk penis polisher and my girlfriend has some sort of phalluphobia. She likes getting fucked wicked hard but hates touching cock and god forbid i ask her to suck on it. Youd think with all the head i give her shed get over it but i guess not. I like getting head goddamnit!!!!
time for a new girlfriend buddy! hahahaha :spineyes:
[Nov 23,2004 4:39pm - ram_girl ""]
TSK, TSK...
Sounds like the lil lady is being selfish.........not giving but receiving!!!
[Nov 23,2004 4:43pm - Christraper ""]
I know!!!! Like what the fuckity fuck??? I dont discuss this with her because i dont want to be an asshole about it but yea, whats the big deal? I go down on her all the time. Normally id say fuck it and move on but aside from that shes wicked good in bed!!!
[Nov 23,2004 4:45pm - Christraper ""]
So i figure if this situation continues in this fashion i wont cheat on her but i WILL however accept "favors" here and there from generous friends on occasion.
[Nov 23,2004 4:45pm - ram_girl ""]
mm, but thats a huge "aside from"......
[Nov 23,2004 4:46pm - Christraper ""]
even though thats pretty much cheating on her.
[Nov 23,2004 4:47pm - ram_girl ""]
hahahaha.....
[Nov 23,2004 4:47pm - ram_girl ""]
Not if the friends are from diffferent zip codes.....
The ole, zip code rule!
[Nov 23,2004 4:48pm - Christraper ""]
ram_girl said:mm, but thats a huge "aside from"......
I KNOW!!!!!! And its not like ive got some smelly green leperous dick in my pants, she told right from the beginning that she doesnt give head and im thinkin "yea right we'll see..." but she really doesnt!!!!
[Nov 23,2004 4:49pm - ram_girl ""]
and you were OK with her telling you that!!!!!
She must be hot!
[Nov 23,2004 4:49pm - Christraper ""]
zip code rule? so all those times in south america didnt count? thats cool.
[Nov 23,2004 4:50pm - ram_girl ""]
never heard of the zip code rule...
if the chic your doing on the side is from a different zip code, then you aren't cheating!!!
[Nov 23,2004 4:51pm - Christraper ""]
yea shes pretty fuckin cute. really what made me stick around is the fact that she can make me laugh. Most girls cant do that. Thats usually how i decide whether or not i keep the girl im with.
[Nov 23,2004 4:52pm - Christraper ""]
i havent cheated on her so far. id prefer not to but she needs to take a walk in my shoes and loosen up a little.
[Nov 23,2004 4:54pm - ram_girl ""]
Sounds like you need to be telling her that theres a problem and it ain't on your end!
[Nov 23,2004 4:54pm - Christraper ""]
im leaving work now but this conversation will be continued. i need some female perspective on this one.
[Nov 23,2004 4:55pm - Christraper ""]
ram_girl said:Sounds like you need to be telling her that theres a problem and it ain't on your end!
yea but thats really the only problem and it seems a bit shallow to bring that up as an issue y'know?
[Nov 23,2004 5:03pm - phobia ""]
oh c'mon, if you started the message board i dont think telling her will be going to far.
[Nov 23,2004 5:11pm - the_reverend ""]
there is a quote in tom robbin's book.. um.. half asleep in frog pajamas where a 300lb girl says something like "show me the wife that doesn't suck cock and I'll show you a man I can steal".
[Nov 23,2004 5:16pm - armageddonday ""]
You need a new girlfriend unless she starts giving you heads. Dude if you go down on her and if she doesn't give you heads, sorry but this is not fair and not fun.
[Nov 23,2004 5:22pm - succubus ""]
ummm
that is nuts...if she refuses to give then you should refuse to do it to her
how fucking lame
no offense to her but if she loves you..she'll do it
[Nov 23,2004 5:23pm - the_reverend ""]
the answer is clear.
stop going down on her unless she starts going down on you.
[Nov 23,2004 5:24pm - the_reverend ""]
and if she doesn't love what you do....
maybe she should get a new boyfriend
[Nov 23,2004 5:27pm - Hooker ""]
wait wait wait..... I bet you're uncircumsized aren't you?
[Nov 23,2004 5:33pm - armageddonday ""]
I just don't get it. What the fuck is wrong with that girl?
[Nov 23,2004 5:33pm - the_reverend ""]
cheswich!
[Nov 23,2004 5:34pm - succubus ""]
the_reverend said:the answer is clear.
stop going down on her unless she starts going down on you.
hahaha we said the same thing
that's probably because we like doing it to each other
wooooooooo
[Nov 23,2004 5:39pm - BornSoVile ""]
Christraper said:zip code rule? so all those times in south america didnt count? thats cool.
lmao
I hear yah bro
:duffbeer:
[Nov 23,2004 5:59pm - Hooker ""]
i'm telling you. this dude has to have a covered wagon.
[Nov 23,2004 6:00pm - succubus ""]
hahahahahahaha
[Nov 23,2004 6:36pm - swamplorddvm ""]
I can go for one.
[Nov 23,2004 7:11pm - succubus ""]
swamplorddvm said:I can go for one.
an uncircumsized penis???
[Nov 23,2004 7:12pm - Hooker ""]
homeboy's got a lamprey eel hanging from his crotch. of course a normal chick isn't gonna put that in her mouth. snip it duder.
[Nov 23,2004 7:16pm - KeithMutiny ""]
in reference to the title of this thread... that goes endlessly without saying
[Nov 23,2004 10:56pm - succubus ""]
hopefully c-raper is getting one now
[Nov 23,2004 11:33pm - ike ""]
[img]
[Nov 23,2004 11:47pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""]
whatever one woman won't do, there are a million others who will.
[Nov 24,2004 7:33am - succubus ""]
i don't understand
[Nov 24,2004 9:23am - Joe/NotCommon ""]
cheating on women is perfectly acceptable.
[Nov 24,2004 11:32am - ram_girl ""]
Soo, Christraper....did she polish the helmet....inquiring minds want to know?
Oh and the comments from the others here pretty much sum it up!!!
You need a new girlfriend unless she starts giving you heads. Dude if you go down on her and if she doesn't give you heads, sorry but this is not fair and not fun.
ummm
that is nuts...if she refuses to give then you should refuse to do it to her
the answer is clear.
stop going down on her unless she starts going down on you.
[Nov 24,2004 12:35pm - jesusfucker ""]
Christraper....I never would have guessed!
I say give the girl a chance. She's still pretty young. If she won't do it now, I swear she'll grow into it, maybe.
The only reason I can think of to NOT give a guy head is if he's not clean, and you appear clean so that's probably not the issue.
The way I decide if I stick with a guy or not is based almost completely on his unit, how he uses it and how good it fits in all areas including my mouth. If someone could meet those requirements AND make me laugh, hell, I would be a happy camper.
Good luck. Oh yeah, and even if you got yourself a covered wagon down there....I'm sure she hasn't come across too many like that. So maybe she'd be scared off a lil, but nothin wrong with a covered wagon. Dick is dick and I like dick.
---Hold out on the cunt lapping...until she gives in---
[Nov 24,2004 12:47pm - korpse-l- ""]
this is what you do...
tell her you want to play a game. tell her in this game "you can't use your hands", lay her flat on her back kind of in a jesus christ pose tell her to close her eyes, and in a split second, hop up on her and put your knees on her arms so she can't break free and do your thing. it always works. :ralphie:
[Nov 24,2004 12:50pm - korpse-l- ""]
jesusfucker said:Christraper....I never would have guessed!
I say give the girl a chance. She's still pretty young. If she won't do it now, I swear she'll grow into it, maybe.
The only reason I can think of to NOT give a guy head is if he's not clean, and you appear clean so that's probably not the issue.
The way I decide if I stick with a guy or not is based almost completely on his unit, how he uses it and how good it fits in all areas including my mouth. If someone could meet those requirements AND make me laugh, hell, I would be a happy camper.
Good luck. Oh yeah, and even if you got yourself a covered wagon down there....I'm sure she hasn't come across too many like that. So maybe she'd be scared off a lil, but nothin wrong with a covered wagon. Dick is dick and I like dick.
---Hold out on the cunt lapping...until she gives in---
wanna date?
[Nov 24,2004 12:56pm - MyDeadDoll ""]
buy some tasty lube... there's this stuff that tastes like sourish candy.... it's YUM! that might make her be more open to the task...
[Nov 24,2004 1:02pm - ram_girl ""]
Where the hell is Christraper??
I hope he didn't say something to her last night and she stabbed him or something!!!
[Nov 24,2004 1:07pm - MyDeadDoll ""]
if he says something wrong, he can always just blame it on us... or me 'cos i'm a million miles away...
[Nov 24,2004 3:09pm - KeithMutiny ""]
jesusfucker has the best female responce i've ever heard in my life...
im impressed and interested all in one post
bravo
[Nov 24,2004 3:17pm - armageddonday ""]
KeithMutiny said:jesusfucker has the best female responce i've ever heard in my life...
im impressed and interested all in one post
bravo
Yeah, she said it all too well.
[Nov 24,2004 3:44pm - Hooker ""]
boneur
[Nov 24,2004 4:26pm - jesusfucker ""]
KeithMutiny said:jesusfucker has the best female responce i've ever heard in my life...
im impressed and interested all in one post
bravo
Thank you, thank you... I know what's up.
[Nov 24,2004 4:33pm - KeithMutiny ""]
ya, me, after that one
[Nov 24,2004 5:10pm - swamplorddvm ""]
succubus said:swamplorddvm said:I can go for one.
an uncircumsized penis???
?????????
[Nov 24,2004 6:15pm - BornSoVile ""]
who is this mysterious jesusfucker?
[Nov 24,2004 6:18pm - armageddonday ""]
She's the new guitarist from Esuriem's girlfriend.
[Nov 24,2004 9:47pm - handinjury ""]
any extra/unused BJ's left in this thread?
[Nov 26,2004 11:07am - dirteecrayon ""]
GO TO MONTREAL!!!!
$5
[Nov 27,2004 4:43pm - Todd(bombshelter) ""]
Manch also $5 ,on the corner of Valley and any of the crossing streets basically,but most of them have no teeth
[Nov 27,2004 7:03pm - Sinistas ""]
wouldn't that be a gumjob?
*honks*
[Nov 27,2004 7:28pm - the_reverend ""]
I get scared in manchvegas when I go onto pine st.
[Nov 28,2004 7:07pm - armageddonday ""]
Christraper, here's might be a good Xmas present for her... I can find more if you need too (not sure if the price is wholesale or retail though)
Tickle His Pickle: Your Hands-On Guide to Penis Pleasing (Sadie Allison) $14.95 0970661126
A penis instruction manual for women. Sexy and inspiring, honest and provocative, it informs, entertains, and reveals the secrets of the penis. Features over 50 techniques to master oral lovemaking; dozens of ways to turn your hands into living sex toys; secret touching tips for the "Male G-Spot" and other pleasure zones; more. Over 100 b&w drawings.
http://www.lastgasp.com/d/24584/
[Nov 28,2004 8:16pm - KeithMutiny ""]
id like to give that too a few people i know for christmas
[Nov 29,2004 10:58am - Christraper ""]
Holy shit. I wasnt online all weekend. I had no idea my whining would amount to so much. NO I DONT HAVE A COVERED WAGON GODDAMNIT!!!!! I had a rather interesting weekend though. I havent resolved anything with my girlfriend but I feel better anyways.:thescream: And you guys dont understand. I LIKE going down on my girl. If i were to stop it would suck cuz...well...i like it. And youre probably right jesusfucker im sure she'll get over it eventually.
[Nov 29,2004 11:07am - blue ""]
not eating poontang is like depriving yourself of life.
[Nov 29,2004 11:23am - Mary ""]
I give bad head. Ask Brad.
:whipper:
[Nov 29,2004 11:24am - blue ""]
meh. i can live without getting head. but not giving cunnilingus, i might as well be dead.
[Nov 29,2004 11:35am - Hooker ""]
blue said:meh. i can live without getting head. but not giving cunnilingus, i might as well be dead.
I like it too, fellas, but jesus christ listen to yourselves. You kidding me?
[Nov 29,2004 11:44am - succubus ""]
i think they are trying to kid themselves
lol
[Nov 29,2004 11:45am - blue ""]
i no kid.
vagina > everything
[Nov 29,2004 12:31pm - Christraper ""]
Eating pussy rules. Watching a girl get off is one of lifes simple pleasures.
[Nov 29,2004 12:38pm - dirteecrayon ""]
so whens that wedding again?
;)
[Nov 29,2004 12:51pm - Christraper ""]
Pretty damn soon if i dont straighten this shit out!
[Nov 29,2004 1:55pm - Hooker ""]
you two are just trying to get broads two swoon over you.
[Nov 29,2004 1:58pm - Christraper ""]
At least im being honest. And id also like to reiterate the fact that i am indeed circumsized.....so there.
[Nov 29,2004 2:03pm - dirteecrayon ""]
does hooker have a covered wagon?
[Nov 29,2004 2:12pm - succubus ""]
nope
[Nov 29,2004 2:13pm - Stumbling55 ""]
some girls have a problem giving head because its one of the features of sex they havent yet mastered, therefore feel uncomfortable performing... where as other sexual positions they are comfortable with, therefore, dont mind performing. You simply have to talk to her about it... bring it up gently, cuz if it sounds mean, she'll take offense, and then your dick outta luck.
[Nov 29,2004 2:14pm - succubus ""]
if you are in an open relationship...you are supposed to tell each other what you like and what you don't...
it's pretty simple...
[Nov 29,2004 2:14pm - armageddonday ""]
I'm telling you, get her that book!
[Nov 29,2004 2:15pm - dirteecrayon ""]
i thought all penises were circumsized at birth --- like it's hospital procedure
[Nov 29,2004 2:18pm - Hooker ""]
hahah. succubus, how would you know?
[Nov 29,2004 2:18pm - Hooker ""]
but dear god no, I don't.
[Nov 29,2004 2:19pm - dirteecrayon ""]
oh man my sophmore year of college, a group of my friends got a stripper for my friends 21st birthday --- he had a covered wagon and braces on his teeth
i was so traumatized!
[Nov 29,2004 2:19pm - succubus ""]
dirteecrayon said:i thought all penises were circumsized at birth --- like it's hospital procedure
nope
[Nov 29,2004 2:20pm - succubus ""]
Hooker said:hahah. succubus, how would you know?
ummm because you told me silly!
at that show and then you asked me all about the rev's...
[Nov 29,2004 2:21pm - dirteecrayon ""]
i think christraper has a covered wagon!
he should show us or me rather so we could be 100% sure!
=)
[Nov 29,2004 2:22pm - j****fucker ""]
Nope. It's whatever way you want it to be. You get to pick!
[Nov 29,2004 2:26pm - Christraper ""]
dirteecrayon said:i think christraper has a covered wagon!
he should show us or me rather so we could be 100% sure!
=)
you asked for it.
[Nov 29,2004 2:31pm - dirteecrayon ""]
uhhh,
nevermind i might be disppointed with what i see
;)
[Nov 29,2004 2:33pm - Hooker ""]
succubus said:Hooker said:hahah. succubus, how would you know?
ummm because you told me silly!
at that show and then you asked me all about the rev's...
:shocked:
lies!!
[Nov 29,2004 2:37pm - dirteecrayon ""]
pfft carina never lies!
she said that my cock was the biggest she ever seen!
[Nov 29,2004 2:41pm - succubus ""]
you showed me a GIGANORMOUS black cock, so yeah, twas the biggest i've ever seen!
[Nov 29,2004 2:42pm - Christraper ""]
dirteecrayon said:uhhh,
nevermind i might be disppointed with what i see
;)
Whawhawhat!!!!!
[Nov 29,2004 2:46pm - Christraper ""]
:christraper takes a hard hit to his already shattered blowjobless ego:
[Nov 29,2004 3:30pm - swamplorddvm ""]
The only time I've had a multiple orgasm (like 10 at once:spineyes
was from a blow job.:shocked:[Nov 29,2004 3:31pm - Christraper ""]
swamplorddvm said:The only time I've had a multiple orgasm (like 10 at once:spineyes
was from a blow job.:shocked:
try an orgy
[Nov 29,2004 3:33pm - swamplorddvm ""]
No I'm talking about continuos orgasms one after the other within seconds.
[Nov 29,2004 3:34pm - Mary ""]
Christraper said::christraper takes a hard hit to his already shattered blowjobless ego:
Hahahaha! If we had a signature line on here, that would be in mine.
[Nov 29,2004 3:44pm - Christraper ""]
swamplorddvm said:No I'm talking about continuos orgasms one after the other within seconds.
I think thats just called a really good orgasm.
[Nov 29,2004 3:48pm - Abbath ""]
blow jobs scare me, every girl i've fooled with sucks at them (no pun intended)
[Nov 29,2004 11:16pm - dirteecrayon ""]
i'm not a big fan of receiving
i've had some really bad traumatizing experiences
i got bit and it was not cool!
[Nov 29,2004 11:30pm - MyDeadDoll ""]
i try to give and receive at least twice a week
[Nov 30,2004 10:57am - dirteecrayon ""]
MyDeadDoll said:i try to give and receive at least twice a week
whoa,
twice a week?!?!?!?
you're way too generous!
=)
[Nov 30,2004 10:59am - succubus ""]
twice a week isn't too generous...but i won't say anymore since i found out how many of the rev's relatives check this site out =)
[Nov 30,2004 11:01am - RustedAngel ""]
girls stress me out so much that I need 100 bj's a day.
[Nov 30,2004 11:02am - dirteecrayon ""]
RustedAngel said:girls stress me out so much that I need 100 bj's a day.
aha, so thats why you have soooo many myspace friends!
[Nov 30,2004 11:04am - RustedAngel ""]
dirteecrayon said:
aha, so thats why you have soooo many myspace friends!
nah, that's just for looks.
[Nov 30,2004 1:21pm - Abbath ""]
RustedAngel said:girls stress me out so much that I need 100 bj's a day.
:bow:
[Nov 30,2004 1:26pm - Christraper ""]
Blowjobs kick ass. I think ive earned one.