The genres of Metal[views:2155][posts:11]__________________________________ [Jan 14,2005 7:28am - Kalopsia ""] The Genres Of Metal... HEAVY METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon,drinks some beers and fucks the princess GRIND METAL: The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves... POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and they make love in an enchanted forest THRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her....... easy and quick FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (from all the dancing) protagonist leaves without the princess VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his migthy axe, cooks and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals the castle and burns the place before he leaves DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess, beats the princess, talks some shit, kills her, then leaves BLACK METAL: The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in the front of the castle.....then sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.....then he impales the deflowered princess GORE METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and revels in his guts in the front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her....then he fucks her dead body, slashes her belly open and eats her guts, fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time DOOM METAL: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks that he never could beat him, gets depressed and commits suicide....the dragon eats his body and the princess as well PROGRESSIVE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26 minutes, the dragon kills himself out of boredom, the protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques learned in the last year of the conservatory... the princess escapes, and is now looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist GLAM METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter, he steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color INDUSTRIAL METAL: The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards. EMO METAL: The protagonist checks his hair and makeup and makes sure it's all black and sassy, then arrives to confront the dragon, complains about his mascara, pretends he's a vampire, cries like a bitch, does a little pit-fu to attempt to intimidate the dragon, rolls his pants legs up and runs like a girl. The princess awaits any of the other metal types. |
| __________________________________ [Jan 14,2005 7:45am - succubus ""] this was already posted guy |
| ______________________________________ [Jan 14,2005 10:20am - the_rooster ""] the doom metal one is sick. |
| ______________________________________ [Jan 14,2005 10:21am - the_rooster ""] succubus said:this was already posted guy no one likes a party pooper. i do, on the other hand, enjoy a good poop. |
| ___________________________________ [Jan 14,2005 12:12pm - malettey ""] i have to poop as i type this! |
| _______________________________ [Jan 14,2005 12:13pm - blue ""] sooooo 3 weeks ago. grind metal? |
| ___________________________________ [Jan 14,2005 12:13pm - succubus ""] the_rooster said:succubus said:this was already posted guy no one likes a party pooper. i do, on the other hand, enjoy a good poop. as long as yer not asking me to poop on you....ok |
| ________________________________________________ [Jan 16,2005 8:05pm - humanbonedeathmachine ""] HOT SNAKES ON THE FACE |
| _________________________________________ [Jan 16,2005 8:10pm - BobNOMAAMRooney ""] The Thrash one could have used a reference to Nuclear War |
| _______________________________________ [Jan 16,2005 8:14pm - Joe/NotCommon ""] succubus said:this was already posted guy yeah guy kid dude, west side |
| _______________________________ [Jan 16,2005 8:24pm - eddie ""] there needs to be one of those of every type of metal heres a list death metal thrash metal black metal gore metal grind metal punk metal power metal symphonic metal speed metal classic metal nu-metal industrial metal blackened death metal retro-thrash metal christian metal amish metal satanic metal melodic metal stoner metal sludge metal progressive metal doom metal psychedelic metal 80's metal alternative metal New Wave of British Heavy Metal metal New Wave of Swedish Death Metal metal darkwave metal techno metal ambient metal Aluminum metal Glam metal Space metal porno metal goth metal math metal advanced algebra/trigonometry metal southern metal northern metal egyptian metal emo metal role-playing metal barnyard metal tribal metal noise metal car-wash metal route 666 metal route 667 metal route 777 metal phone metal demonic sacrificial metal disco metal trailer park metal murder metal destructo metal glacier metal fruit of the loom metal cereal metal platypus metal indian metal gymnastic metal stalactite metal stalagmite metal swedish chef metal medical metal (with an optional dental plan) clown metal surfer metal cobra la la la metal lobster metal vitamin enriched metal lactose intolerant metal laundromat metal japanese metal fava beans metal country metal honky-tonk metal gerbil metal ZOD metal buddhist metal quaker metal rechargeable metal gospel metal hopscotch metal candyland metal hungry hungry hippos metal crystal pepsi metal bluegrass metal viking metal E=mc˛ metal funeral doom metal slippery when wet metal sugar-free metal pork, the other white metal |
| _____________________________________________ [Jan 16,2005 8:27pm - CongoogetalZobotomy ""] platypus metal is my favorite kind of metal |