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rules of hardcore

[views:13075][posts:65]
 ________________________________________
[Jun 12,2003 11:19am - joe/notcommon ""]
THE 101 RULES OF HARDCORE


1) Be tough at all times.

2) Never cheer after a show...only clap.

3) Be open minded in a "punch people" kind of way

4) Only the good hardcore bands have names that are
sentences with bad grammar. Boy Hits Car, Boy Sets
Fire, Skycamefalling, Boy Sets Car-fire.

5) Ankles are tough so bring your socks down into your
shoes so we can see them.

6) Tattoos are tough especially when they are on your
calves. See Rule 3 on how to see said tattoo more
clearly.

7) Wear your hoody in the mosh pit because sweating
like a wild pig makes you look tough.

8) Don't admit you listen to heavy metal.

9) (Exception to rule 8) Only admit you listen to
heavy metal if you think it is ironic and you wear
80's cheese metal shirts.

10) Be a non-conformist, just like all your friends.

11) Practice hardcore dancing in front of your mirror
and then try them out the next time Atreyu comes to
town.

12) A hardcore band is only original if you call it
something-core. Example Screamcore, emocore,
Screamocore, mathcore, or Medio-core.

13) Remember, it's fun to punch and kick kung fu
style.

14) Keep it in the do-jo.

15) Real hardcore fans are called kids.

16) Complain how hardcore bands are playing with metal
bands at all costs!

17) Have your own zine, website, production company or
be in a band. Claim you are friends with the singer
from Shai Halud.

18) Tell people you work in the music industry.

19) More Ankles people!

20) Embrace everybody in the scene except for those
people who are not you.

21) Refer to bands as old school or new school then
act tough again.

22) Pretend that you get Dillinger Escape plan.

23) Shop at second hand stores and then go buy
expensive shoes.

24) Beat people up and then go to bible study class.

25) Smoking and drinking and having sex before
marriage is too trendy. Real hardcore tough guys
abstain.

26) Whatever you do, don't let the singer on stage
ever sing in the mic. Make sure you grab it from him
and sing in it yourself, after all, you do a better
job singing then him. It's a wonder they didn't put
you on the album.


27) Start your own hardcore band.

28) Have your logo resemble some random 80's product
for nostalgia.

29) Talk about the scene any chance you get. Say as
many obscure hardcore bands from NJ as possible.

30) If you are shy start an emo band so you don't have
to look at the audience.

31) People who know more bands than you are better
than you.

32) Add the Letter X before and after important words.
XhardcorekidX
XmoshfuckX

33) Never say "Did you hear the new Strung Out?"
Unless you are attempting to be funny in which case
stop it because hardcore kids are tough not funny.

34) It's merch not Merchandise.

35) Hardcore girls must wear head bands at all times.

36) Stretch your ears out to look more intimidating.

37) The bigger you stretch you ears out the more
hardcore you are.

38) Your ear should be stretched out enough to
accommodate a block of wood, a hubcap or a penis.

39) People in the front row are best used as a
ladder/staircase to reach your goal...steal the mic
away from the singer.

40) When people ask you if you like a band always say
"I only like the old stuff" or "I haven't really
gotten into the new stuff".

41) Buy all of that bands merch.

42) Wear your new merch at the next hardcore show.

43) Repeat steps 41 and 42

44) If you have to wear glasses make sure they are
thick, black framed ones.

45) Don't tell anybody but make sure you try on your
new vintage clothes and stud belt before heading out
to see Poison the well.

46) Never admit you don't like Hatebreed and go see
them live 12 times a year.

47) Complain that they are playing with slayer but
don't admit you actually like Slayer.

48) Complain at all costs.

49) Tag team hardcore dancing is cool

50) Real hardcore kids are really struggling
photographers.

51) You don't go to hardcore concerts, you go to
hardcore shows. BIG difference.

52) Name your hardcore dance moves things like "The
mother fuck" or "kick that guys ass move" or better
yet....stay home and cry.

53) Protect your body from swinging limbs by
sacrificing your two arms.

54) Scream about love.

55) All age venues are important so you are not
tempted to drink.

56) Claim you know a guy who knows a guy whose best
friend was standing next to the guy who got his ass
kicked during Converge. Bash the hardcore scene and
then go see The Get Up Kids.

57) Anytime somebody mentions a band always say you
know somebody in the band.

58)Wear your pins with honour! Shai Halud, American
Nightmare, Minor Threat and the purple heart of
valour.

59) Velcro shoes are cool.

60) Don't admit that you have a crush on the singer
from Walls of Jericho. If somebody asks, say you
respect her as a musician only.

61) Your band name should contain one of the following
words: Blood, Murder, Kill, Victim and butterfly.

62) Print your band name as if it was on a bad
printing press. Actual graphics are for posers.

63) Sleep on a portrait painted prettier then
everyone.

64) 100 bands from around the world to play in your
city. All of them are the world's best hardcore bands.
Every label represented, every hardcore genre present.
The venue is the best all-ages venue in the world.
Tickets are $1.00. It is your job to go around saying
the festival should be free.

65) Record producers must make sure to pump the mid
because mid is tough.

66) Re-issue your demos after every album.

67) When the band starts playing everybody join hands
and make a big circle so we can watch the big kids
play.

68) Crying on stage makes you a professional.

69) Complain some more.

70) Album covers must be made at home on Photoshop by
your good friend.

71) If you are from New York NEVER smile in a promo
pic. In fact always try to cross your arms and look
into the camera as if you are going to beat up whom
ever is looking.

72) If you are from New Jersey NEVER smile in a promo
pic either. In fact try to look like you just lost
your girl friend to the hardcore band from New York.

73) Never admit that Emo is Country music lyrics mixed
with pop rock riffs and marketed by 17 year olds
trying to make their friend be the next Dashboard
Confessional.

74) American Idol is your worst enemy. (But you voted
for Ruben)

75) You can get away with glitter on your face as long
as your stretched ear plugs are clear.

76) Fuck beer, Got breast milk?

77) Bandanas are cool.

78) Bandanas with big X on them are cooler.

79) Bandanas with big X on them were cool last week
you poser.

80) Your best friend is a guy named XattackX from
Jersey who you chat with on MSN everyday. He is coming
to see you one day. Really.

81) Chunky breakdowns in your songs are original and
you should continue to do them despite every other
band doing them which is clearly a rip off of your
band.

82) Judge other bands and always compare them to the
socio-cultural effects of the band Integrity.

83) Look up Socio-cultural in the dictionary and then
get offended.

84) Green Day is the real reason you are still alive.

85) Describe your group of friends as "the scene" and
then watch bootlegs of last weeks.

86) Obey the laws of the hardcore scene or forever be
banished from the circle.

87) When somebody asks you what is hardcore respond
with "I am hardcore" then punch somebody in the face
for looking at you wrong.

88) Keep punching

89) Kick a little too

90) Punch

91) Add a threat about their mother for good measure.

92) Pretend you are won the fight then pickup your
dismembered left arm.

93) You are wearing the same thing as the 40-year old
gas pump attendant but for some strange mystical
reason you are cooler than he is.

94) Tell everybody that Trustkill Records are too
trendy.

95) Did you stop acting tough? I saw you hug that
teddy bear.

96) Pierce you tits and tattoo your body.

97) Straight bangs means straight-edge

98) Being vegan means you can't swallow sperm.

99) When in doubt Mock everything

100) Take everything personally.

101) Assume this list is about you!
 _____________________________________
[Jun 12,2003 11:41am - bitterlowz ""]
that's quite a list.. im glad i'm different
 ________________________________________
[Jun 12,2003 11:45am - joe/notcommon ""]
it's all fact based
 _____________________________________
[Jun 12,2003 12:36pm - tyagxgrind ""]
ah fuck your list. velcro shoes are cool. their really for those who hate having to lace that shit up constantly. i think that wearing no socks is more hardcore. dumb.
 _______________________________________
[Jun 12,2003 1:23pm - joe/notcommon ""]
My dad wears velcro shoes because he hates lacing them up
what a role model!
 ________________________________
[Jun 12,2003 1:48pm - XmikeX ""]
3) Be open minded in a "punch people" kind of way
- hilarious

4) Only the good hardcore bands have names that are
sentences with bad grammar. Boy Hits Car, Boy Sets
Fire, Skycamefalling, Boy Sets Car-fire.
- None of those bands are hardcore. In fact they're garbage

7) Wear your hoody in the mosh pit because sweating
like a wild pig makes you look tough.
- HAHA as opposed to taking your shirt off to bare your beer belly to the entire show while you run around doing the Bushwacker strut rubbing up against other fat sweaty shirtless guys yelling "PANTERAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!" when pantera isn't even playing?
 _______________________________________
[Jun 12,2003 2:09pm - joe/notcommon ""]
haha, ZING!
 _________________________________________
[Jun 12,2003 2:29pm - baneofexistence ""]
you left out running backwards into the spectators on the sidelines of the show who are mearly just watching the bands play

and the old classic get a running jump in the air and land on the merch tables smashing the merch and the table


:skull::skull::skull::skull::skull::skull::skull::skull::skull::skull::skull::skull:



 _______________________________________
[Jun 12,2003 5:36pm - deodiummortis ""]
And plowing into handicapped people who are as out of the way as they can manage to be, bwaah!
 _______________________________________
[Jun 12,2003 10:01pm - BingChlorine ""]
Despite everything that list says, hardcore is still waaaaaaaaaay better :spineyes:
 _________________________________________
[Jun 13,2003 12:23am - xPaulBLAHBLAHx ""]
Metal is better then hardcore, yes. And some of that shit is really funny, but its sad that you took the time to write all of that on a message board. Hey ive got a rule

1) let people do what they fucking want to do.

Same goes to people who bash metal, just let kids do what they want to do and have fun instead of fucking complaining about it. :satancross:
 ________________________________________
[Jun 13,2003 12:25am - joe/notcommon ""]
i didn't type it genius
i copied and pasted it

you should die for being so gay
 ___________________________________
[Jun 13,2003 3:25pm - easyed_69 ""]
I saw this on the alexisonfire board.....where did this originate from anyways?
 ________________________________________
[Jun 13,2003 5:45pm - xPaulBLAHBLAHx ""]
Die for being so gay??, Im surprised you havent yet commited suicide, your quite possibly one of the gayest men in America go litsen to ravage some more. :middlefinger:
 _______________________________________
[Jun 14,2003 12:08am - ActionAttack ""]
haha number 58.
ill sell you those pins for fity cent each.
any pins you want I got yo.
 _______________________________________
[Jun 14,2003 8:23am - joe/notcommon ""]
i sure will listen to ravage some more you fuck
i still am not sure when singing became gay
but since you are trendy enough to write X's around your name then I should probably believe you
I could take a wild swing at what bands you listen to
but I am sure they are all extra cheesy and boring
why don't you come down to the middle east on monday and we can discuss this in person
 ______________________________________
[Jun 14,2003 1:46pm - ActionAttack ""]
damn yo,
can't we all just get along?
so much anger! what ever happed heart-core?
let's bring it back!

:yoda:
 ______________________________
[Jun 15,2003 1:30pm - Kyle ""]
yeah metal.............right on......no wait i meant fuckin metal sucks
 ________________________________________
[Jun 15,2003 3:10pm - xPaulBLAHBLAHx ""]
lol cheesy??? Im not the one who litsens to ravage and command presence, and its not worth fighting you over haha.
 _________________________________
[Jun 15,2003 5:32pm - Terence ""]
Nothing is gayer then Lambgoat.com
 ______________________________________
[Jun 15,2003 5:43pm - ActionAttack ""]
i agree, all they do is talk shit. I try to be serious with some kids and some pricks step in and say really gay things

:middlefinger: lambgoat
 _________________________________
[Jun 15,2003 9:04pm - Terence ""]
Right, I put up a thread to advertise a show, and out of nowhere comes the idiot speech. I think Lambgoat actually hurts the scene. What good has it brought?
 ________________________________________
[Jun 15,2003 10:23pm - joe/notcommon ""]
well i think we can all agree that i'm awesome

 ___________________________________
[Jun 16,2004 6:05pm - JellyFish ""]
hahahahaha wow
 _____________________________________
[Jun 16,2004 6:10pm - Robdeadskin ""]
I would love to get my band on an all hardcore show ..just to see what happens..Do you think they would respect it....or kill us?
 ___________________________________
[Jun 16,2004 6:29pm - Dissector ""]
10) Be a non-conformist, just like all your friends

Thats a good one.

The 101 rules of black metal are even more funny.
 _______________________________
[Jun 16,2004 6:34pm - silky ""]
everything on that list is true. it sucks, but that's the facts. I love hardcore. always have, and fashion, musical trends, and trying to be tough because deep down you're an insecure faggot have always ruined the music. for as long as I can remeber that's how it's been. that's why there's so few good hardcore bands. the members of the few good bands seldom get caught up in scene bullshit, and in fact, if they weren't in a band, they would more than likely be shunned for not fitting in.
 ____________________________________
[Jun 16,2004 6:38pm - iamwiggins ""]
they might respect it...whats your band?
 _______________________________________________________
[Jun 16,2004 6:50pm - Joe is Overlord of the Earth  ""]
why was this brought back from the dead?
 ____________________________________________________
[Jun 16,2004 6:54pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
the only people you should all be hating is loser "gangsta' life" wanna-be thugs who listen to rap and wear sideways hats and oversized basketball shirts.
 ___________________________________________________________
[Jun 16,2004 6:55pm - Joe is the Overlord of the Earth  ""]
menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:the only people you should all be hating is loser "gangsta' life" wanna-be thugs who listen to rap and wear sideways hats and oversized basketball shirts.


those people are the ones who listen to hardcore, they all are so mad that they aren't black that they fight white people at shows.
 ____________________________________
[Jun 16,2004 7:23pm - anonymous  ""]
I can't admit that death metal is boring and played out so I have to pretend that every other type of music is lame too. Get a life and Every hardcore kid knows Slayer rules.
 __________________________________________________
[Jun 16,2004 7:31pm - More anonymous than you  ""]
WOW IM SO ANONYMOUS!!!!!!111 MORE ANONYMOUS THAN ANYONE ELSE THAT HAS EVER BEEN ANONYMOUS BEFORE!!!!!!111 EVER EVEN!!!!!!!11

Oh, and hardcore is actually even MORE played out than death metal and most death metal i've heard takes more talent to play than most hardcore i've heard. look... ill even make a harcore song right now. *takes a shit* see... wasnt that easy?

yes, this is Spaldino...
 ___________________________________
[Jun 16,2004 7:42pm - Dissector ""]
Just about every hardcore breakdown sounds the same. I'm sure if you're a hardcore kid and listen to it a lot you can tell the difference, but I sure as hell can't.
 ____________________________________
[Jun 16,2004 7:43pm - deadhooker ""]
that list definitely made my day.

joe you should show it to niki
 __________________________________________
[Jun 16,2004 7:47pm - intricateprocess ""]
cant we just all focus our hatred on the impending doom located in the middle east. its fucking pissing me off.
im going to listen to xmotorheadx
 ________________________________________________
[Jun 16,2004 7:49pm - Being anonymous rules  ""]
Why doesn't everbody just enjoy their own scene and leave everybody else alone. Just support independent music.
 _______________________________
[Jun 16,2004 8:07pm - silky ""]
scenes are what ruin independent music.
 ________________________________
[Jun 16,2004 8:11pm - xmikex ""]
alot of hardcore bands sound the same. but how many metal bands sound exactly like cannibal corpse? too many.
 _______________________________________________
[Jun 16,2004 8:37pm - dneirflrigruoydeliani ""]
i enjoy Pabst Blue Ribbon it is cheep and i can catch a hardcore/metal buzz off it. This thread is funny, fuck, lighten up its all good.
 ___________________________________
[Jun 16,2004 9:29pm - dread_104 ""]
i'll drink to that
 ___________________________________________________
[Jun 16,2004 10:07pm - the taste of cigarettes  ""]
Hardcore rules, hardcore rules.
Can't live my life for you.
Hardcore rules, hardcore rules.
Up to you wanna be one of societies fools.
Hardcore rules, hardcore rules.
Pack up the van let's travel around.
Hardcore rules, hardcore rules.
Friends from the east to the west.
Hardcore rules, hardcore rules.
Japan, Europe too.
Jimmy says he loves straight edge kids.
They're are great to have around.
For a ride home when your piss drunk.
And me, I love everyone as long as you're not a dick.
So if you've got a big mouth keep it shut.
Say you're too old and it's time to grow up.
So you become another hardcore dropout.
Remember this is all about the fun.
And you're never too old to sing along.
Hardcore rules, hardcore rules.
 _________________________________
[Jun 16,2004 10:38pm - xmikex ""]
hardcore rules! hard! core! rules! New York City!

ridiculous
 _______________________________________
[Jun 16,2004 11:11pm - swamplorddvm ""]
Wow thats good. This is all true. and I'm not even "hard-core"...


Thank "god".
 __________________________________
[Jun 17,2004 12:28am - Soloman ""]
hardcore vs. metal.... boring.
 ______________________________________
[Jun 17,2004 1:17am - swamplorddvm ""]
Yeah. it is. But this is not a vs. thread.
 __________________________________________________
[Jun 17,2004 8:17am - the taste of cigarettes  ""]
I went to see this old hardcore band that either did a reunion or was just really fucking old, and the singer was talking about "back when the metal kids and the hardcore kids didn't like each other" and that the two scenes had no intermingling. I thought that was really weird cause I find the two are so closely related these days...I mean, we even have the New England "Hardcore & Metal" fest.

Yet, I have noticed that some of the Hardcore kids spite the metal and vice versa. Why do you think that is?
 _______________________________________
[Jun 17,2004 9:06am - Joe/NotCommon ""]
I think hardcore and metal are at odds in Massachusetts these days. That metal and hardcore fest didn't even really have much metal bands on it. They should segregate it, metal on one day and hardcore on the other.

XmikeX and I are not allowed to be in the same room anymore.
 ___________________________________________________
[Jun 17,2004 10:10am - the taste of cigarettes  ""]
that might not be a bad idea, Joe. Hey remember when there were 3 stages for the HC/M fest and one of those stages was at a club down the street?

that was kinda nutty.
 _________________________________
[Jun 17,2004 12:18pm - xmikex ""]
Metal is a haven for nerd kids who got picked on in high school and want to feel like they're important, and tough with fantasies of serial killers, medevil battles, and vampires.

Hardcore is a haven for nerd kids who got picked on in junior high who want to feel like they're important and tough with fantasies of cartwheels that make you important, pretending that you're straightedge making you a worthwhile person, and the mistaken notion that everyone in a tight black t-shirt being your "family" makes you tough.
 ________________________________________
[Jun 17,2004 12:30pm - Joe/NotCommon ""]
You forgot that metal kids also have no respect for women.

We also have little respect for authority (when it's not present)
 _______________________________
[Jun 17,2004 12:30pm - cdan ""]
xmikex said:Metal is a haven for nerd kids who got picked on in high school and want to feel like they're important, and tough with fantasies of serial killers, medevil battles, and vampires.

Hardcore is a haven for nerd kids who got picked on in junior high who want to feel like they're important and tough with fantasies of cartwheels that make you important, pretending that you're straightedge making you a worthwhile person, and the mistaken notion that everyone in a tight black t-shirt being your "family" makes you tough.



very true. so why is it so hard for the metal nerds and the hardcore nerds to get along? are dungeons and dragons and men striking poses in tight black shirts any less gay than the other?
 ________________________________
[Jun 17,2004 1:33pm - xmikex ""]
Joe/NotCommon said:You forgot that metal kids also have no respect for women.


Hardocre has little respect for women as well, only instead of writing songs about raping, and beheading girls "hardcore" (i say it in quotes because, contrary to the majority of kids who claim hardcore i don't consider emo to have anything to do with hardcore) kids write emo songs because they have no respect for girls, and know that on any given day at least one girl will be dumb enough to buy into it. Emo is the agent of the modern sexual predator. Fact.

 ______________________________________________
[Jun 17,2004 2:20pm - -l-Invertedcorpse-l- ""]
Hardcore = Rap with Guitars
 ________________________________
[Jun 17,2004 2:47pm - xmikex ""]
-l-Invertedcorpse-l- said:Hardcore = Rap with Guitars


I thought that was Body Count.

Actually, I thought that was Dying Fetus.
 _________________________________
[Jun 17,2004 2:47pm - Soloman ""]
thats very true about "emo" being used as a sexual predator's agent. While rock n roll traditionally is sexual and all about getting tang, it makes no pretenses about it. Emo pretends to be sensitive, when it's used to lure young dumb girls in.
 _________________________________
[Jun 17,2004 2:58pm - Soloman ""]
XmikeX said:7) Wear your hoody in the mosh pit because sweating
like a wild pig makes you look tough.
- HAHA as opposed to taking your shirt off to bare your beer belly to the entire show while you run around doing the Bushwacker strut rubbing up against other fat sweaty shirtless guys yelling "PANTERAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!" when pantera isn't even playing?




by the way, I'm excited someone brought up the bushwackers. HA i love it.:point:
 ___________________________________
[Jun 17,2004 3:05pm - ninkaszi  ""]
bushwackers dance is old school! hahaha
 ________________________________________________
[Jun 17,2004 4:17pm - Being anonymous rules  ""]
Metal and Hardcore unite against the evil known as emo!!!!
 ______________________________
[Jun 17,2004 4:20pm - cdan ""]
Soloman said:thats very true about "emo" being used as a sexual predator's agent. While rock n roll traditionally is sexual and all about getting tang, it makes no pretenses about it. Emo pretends to be sensitive, when it's used to lure young dumb girls in.


you get to fuck young dumb girls if you play emo? i'm in the wrong scene.
 _________________________________
[Jun 17,2004 4:38pm - joostin ""]
pretty much a year later and i still think this is arrogant and funny all at the same time
 _______________________________________
[Jun 17,2004 4:56pm - Joe/NotCommon ""]
cdan said:Soloman said:thats very true about "emo" being used as a sexual predator's agent. While rock n roll traditionally is sexual and all about getting tang, it makes no pretenses about it. Emo pretends to be sensitive, when it's used to lure young dumb girls in.


you get to fuck young dumb girls if you play emo? i'm in the wrong scene.



i've been doing that all along, maybe you should start a record label
 _________________________________
[Jun 17,2004 5:18pm - Soloman ""]
bang a tang.
 ______________________________
[Jun 17,2004 5:29pm - cdan ""]
Soloman said:bang a tang.


[img]
 _________________________________
[Jun 17,2004 5:37pm - Soloman ""]
bang it.
 __________________________________________
[Jun 17,2004 5:53pm - WhyamIandasshole ""]
http://sindivision.net/stuff/hxc.gif


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