Why are men happier?[views:3055][posts:29]___________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 10:17am - succubus ""] someone sent this to me and it made me laugh.. Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier! |
| __________________________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 10:25am - the_taste_of_cigarettes ""] I made a list with over 17 parts but then gave up. Essentially this list is a big load of made up stereotypes. |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 10:29am - RustedAngel ""] stereotypes that are sadly true for most girls, but doesn't have to be that way. |
| _________________________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 10:31am - whiskey_weed_and_women ""] haha wow this just made me wanna get up outta bed and sing the songs i wanna hear, climb a mountain then watch scarface 35times, eat a hamburger and then go back to sleep |
| __________________________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 10:34am - the_taste_of_cigarettes ""] Guys remember when all the crowds at the stores would part ways for us to shop on Christmas Eve because of our XY chromosomes? I clearly remember last year the mob at the local department stores just totally cleared up and I managed to get all my shopping done in 25 minutes. |
| ________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 10:34am - Yeti ""] whiskey_weed_and_women said:haha wow this just made me wanna get up outta bed and sing the songs i wanna hear, climb a mountain then watch scarface 35times, eat a hamburger and then go back to sleep bahahahahaha brilliant |
| _________________________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 10:36am - whiskey_weed_and_women ""] the_taste_of_cigarettes said:local department stores. umm, what the hell is a department store. :krusty: |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 10:41am - succubus ""] it made me laugh...as for stereotypes... You can never be pregnant. hopefully that's true and not just a stereotype... anyhow maybe i found it funny because aaron says a lot of these things...like teasing me about wearing white shirts..anyhow...i guess it will be an inside joke for us |
| _________________________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 10:48am - whiskey_weed_and_women ""] succubus said:it made me laugh...as for stereotypes... You can never be pregnant. what it got out, who told the women this.....i was looking for some more time off from work. damn you all !!!! |
| _______________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 11:11am - the_reverend ""] I think if carina either wore a white shirt or no shirt at a waterpark, it would be ok.. and hot. |
| ________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 11:51am - timma ""] succubus said:You can never be pregnant. hopefully that's true and not just a stereotype... HEEELLLOOOOOOOOOO, didn't you see Junior? if the governator can spew a fetus, whats to say the rest of us can't? stereotype my ass. |
| _____________________________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 12:34pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""] I stopped reading after "You can wear NO shirt to a water park". What the hell is that load. Of course women can go shirtless at water parks. I don't mind at all. |
| ________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 12:37pm - Yeti ""] see us men have one thing that overrules all of those. a woman can never be kicked in the balls. end of story. |
| _________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 12:38pm - Beakey ""] I think women have it much easier. I don't know why women complain. Men actually have to work for a living. All women have to do is dishes and cleaning. And, between the invention of dishwashers and Swiffer Wet Jets, they get to kick back and live the easy life. |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 12:39pm - succubus ""] hahahahahaha *smacks Beakey* |
| __________________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 12:40pm - SacreligionNLI ""] menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:I stopped reading after "You can wear NO shirt to a water park". What the hell is that load. Of course women can go shirtless at water parks. I don't mind at all. yes but arnold can survive an atomic blast just by running and diving...he has a bit of an edge |
| ____________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 1:24pm - anonymous ""] this list the only true reason why guys have it good, the mighty phallus |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 1:35pm - the_reverend ""] beakey, you forgot that they have to swallow the man chowder, dr. phil style. |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 1:36pm - the_reverend ""] I think if I had to swallow a thumble full of bleach each night when I want to go to sleep, I would complain too |
| ________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 1:37pm - Beakey ""] Basically, what I'm trying to say is that women have it easier because the only thing they have to do is obey us. Imagine being able to go through life without having to make any decisions of your own? That would be a breeze. |
| __________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 1:43pm - succubus ""] *smacks beakey harder since apparetnly he didn't feel anything the first time* |
| ______________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 1:57pm - the_reverend ""] you forgot what happens when femmes talk back... [img] she only looks happy cause they spared her the minimum punishment of cleaving off the left breast. |
| ________________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 3:15pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] succubus said:People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. Nonsense. People always stare at my chest due to my massively overdeveloped pecs. I used to work at Pepperidge Farms as a walnut cracker. Honest. |
| _________________________________________ [Nov 10,2005 4:07pm - SacreligionNLI ""] women had it easy until they wanted more rights...now they complain there's too much to worry about ha |
| ____________________________________ [Nov 11,2005 1:27am - infoterror ""] WOMEN THEY GOT THE VOTE, WE GOT PROHIBITION I LOVE WOMEN BUT SHOULDN'T VOTE, SHOULDN'T DRIVE INFACT NO ONE SHOULD VOTE DEMOCRACY IS FOR RETARDS |
| _______________________________________ [Nov 11,2005 8:02am - Joe/NotCommon ""] It's very simple, we fuck girls. On the other hand, girls just get fucked. |
| ________________________________ [Nov 11,2005 8:05am - Beakey ""] Plus, their bodies are designed to host our children while we go to dorm parties and flirt with college chicks. |
| ____________________________________ [Nov 11,2005 10:01am - Dissector ""] Joe/NotCommon said:It's very simple, we fuck girls. On the other hand, girls just get fucked. Brilliantly put. |
| ___________________________________ [Nov 11,2005 10:05am - succubus ""] sorry but that's far from brilliant...some girls know how to fuck as well |
| ____________________________________ [Nov 11,2005 10:09am - DJ Death ""] thats right, almost the whole mass ONLY knows how to copulate. 3 cheers to smart little johnny and little sue ann! |