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you are quoting a heck of a lot there.
[QUOTE]blah blah blah[/QUOTE] to reply to MarkFuckingRichards.
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[QUOTE="MarkFuckingRichards:648944"]The first time I dislocated my knee...okay, every time I've dislocated my knee(s). Here's the timeline: June of 2000, junior year of high school, last day of class before finals, the day before my road test, 3 days before my birthday, we played ultimate frisbee in gym because we could do whatever we wanted the last day. I made an astounding play (knocked the frisbee from some 6'5" kid catching it in the endzone; if he caught it, the other team would have won). So I thought I was all hot shit, went to pick up the frisbee, and when I pivotted my right foot stuck to the gross, old, rubber gym floor, causing my right knee to dislocate 1/4 of the distance around my leg. FUCKING AWESOME! August of 2001, band practice in my basement. I lost my balance and almost impaled the other guitarist with my old Warlock, so in trying to regain balance, I slammed my right foot down in an awkward manner on a brick hearth we have in the basement. Pop goes the kneecap. I should have just impaled the other guitarist because he was a fucking shithead. July 4th of 2003, a few bandmates, myself, and my cousin went to Saquish, a private beach. My cousin wanted to show off and tried to wrestle my old drummer (who had a record of 17-1-1 in high school wrestling the year before). Clearly, he got his salad tossed. Then, my cousin had to regain his manhood by trying to wrestle me. I told him no firmly about 50000000000 times until it got to the point where I was so pissed off that I wanted to slam him on his face, so I gave in. He couldn't take me down, until he wrapped his leg around mine and twisted. Woohoo, another dislocation! The 2 times before, I didn't have the stomach to re-locate my knee, but since I was on a private beach that had the bumpiest, roughest terrain to get back to civilization, I knew I had to bite the bullet. Before I even hit the ground I just whipped my leg out straight and pushed my knee back in place. April 15th, 2006, I was playing with Sexcrement in Allston. About 2 minutes into our first song, a very, very large man (about horror tang's size), fell down with all of his weight on my left leg, perfectly positioned to dislocate my knee. So I had to have the drummer straighten my leg out, then I popped it back in place, and played the rest of the show sitting down with a bag of ice on my knee. I am going to cut my legs off before I get old. In 8th grade, we were playing floor hockey in gym class. Some kid on the other team was about 5 feet from the goalie, and I was right behind him. I figured, "No worries, he can't take a slapshop from here so I'm safe." I was wrong. He wound up and slammed the blade of the stick right in between my eyes. I didn't realize for a few minutes that my face was covered in blood, leaving a trail of blood all over the gym floor. Of course no one told me because I went to junior high with a bunch of douchebags. That was awesome. Junior year of high school, I was cutting some board with a brand new Xacto knife in art class. My left index finger was juuuust hanging over the edge of the ruler I was using to cut, and I almost sliced the tip off. I never realized how much blood you could lose from a cut on a finger until I started fainting in the nurse's office, haha. Learning how to play guitar without an index finger was odd for the next few months after that. In 7th grade, I was trying to hop over a desk in math class but failed miserably when my foot caught the bar that holds the desktop on the chair. I fell hard face first but put my arm in the way. My arm felt like shit, but I never told anyone so who knows what the hell happened to it, haha. I just sucked it up and took some ibuprofen for a few weeks and after that I think I was fine. In 4th grade, we had a Halloween parade in our school. I was a ghost, and the kid behind me was Dracula. He kept stepping on my shoes purposely; when we were coming around the gym, he stepped on my shoe and I tripped face first into the corner of a concrete wall. The white sheet I was wearing quickly turned red and screams ensued. The same kid who did that threw one of those heavy rubber Bart Simpson dolls at me in math class; it weighed about 8 pounds. I was fucking pissed, so I threw it back at him, threw a desk at him, and hit him in the face as hard as I could with a hardcover math book. It ruled, because I didn't get in trouble. That same kid also kicked a chainlink fence while another kid was climbing over it to get a soccer ball. He lost his balance and fell onto the chainlink fence, all weight on his fucking balls. I'm sure he can't have children.[/QUOTE]
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