Hell Explained By Chemistry Student[views:1575][posts:16]___________________________________ [Jan 23,2008 12:09pm - brian_dc ""] HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.' THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+. |
| _______________________________________ [Jan 23,2008 12:11pm - the_reverend ""] and THIS MIGHT BE A REPOST. I know I've read it like ever 2-3 years. |
| ___________________________________ [Jan 23,2008 12:12pm - brian_dc ""] I don't care about reposts this place is too serious about reposts |
| ________________________________________ [Jan 23,2008 12:18pm - y_ddraig_goch ""] REPOST POLICE ARRESTING BLACKS AND THEIR FRIENDS SINCE 2001 |
| ___________________________________ [Jan 23,2008 12:39pm - cav nli ""] yea alex posted this about a month ago |
| _____________________________ [Jan 23,2008 1:19pm - SW ""] repost or not that was fuckin funny |
| ________________________________ [Jan 23,2008 1:45pm - Dante ""] i thought hell had a bunch of different sections and levels (cantos) the very bottom level, for the ultimate sinners, is freezing cold. And only one or two different levels are full of fire and heat. but it doesn't matter anyway because hell doesn't exist and this seems like bullshit. |
| ________________________________ [Jan 23,2008 1:47pm - Dante ""] oh fuck, i didn't read the whole thing at first. hah. still kind of lame. |
| ___________________________________ [Jan 23,2008 2:09pm - dreadkill ""] brian_dc said:I don't care about reposts this place is too serious about reposts very true. it's funny to say repost to something obscure that was reposted too soon or something obvious that has been repsoted, but if it's something obscure that was posted 2 years ago or something, then who gives a hoot? |
| ____________________________________________________ [Jan 23,2008 2:45pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""] Give a hoot, use the search feature. http://forum.returntothepit.com/search.php...&submitThatShit=Search+Board&sdate= [img] |
| ___________________________________ [Jan 23,2008 2:53pm - dreadkill ""] hoot hoot |
| __________________________________ [Jan 23,2008 2:56pm - brian_dc ""] I do sometimes...I don't others...meh |
| ________________________________________ [Jan 23,2008 2:57pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] MALCOLM X THE OWL DISREGARDS YOUR MLK DAY |
| ____________________________________________________ [Jan 23,2008 3:14pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""] brian_dc said:I do sometimes...I don't others...meh It's OK. We still love you. |
| ____________________________________________ [Jan 24,2008 1:12am - ConquerTheBaphomet ""] Haha! That was awesome. If I was that professor, I'd buy the kid a beer. |
| _________________________________ [Jan 24,2008 1:35am - sxealex ""] http://www.returntothepit.com/view.php?formid=47190 :D this month!!! |
| __________________________________ [Jan 24,2008 7:51am - brian_dc ""] I WIN! |