Riddle me this RTTP
[views:10265][posts:62]___________________________________
[Jan 25,2008 10:50am - bradmann ""]
so i met this smokin' Italian chick who i've been trying to get busy with. we've hung out a few times before this but i decided on wednesday i'd make my move. after a little carousing at a bar, i walked her back to her place and she invited me in. we talked for a little while and then i went for the kiss but she wasn't into it.
this is her reasoning: she really cares about her "sort-of" boyfriend who is currently dating one of her good friends and has been for the past 4 years.
this is the epitome of skewed moral judgment.
i haven't dismissed her entirely, but mostly.
[Jan 25,2008 10:52am - the_reverend ""]
Are you trying to figure girls out?
warning, epic failure eminent.
[Jan 25,2008 10:53am - DestroyYouAlot ""]
GTFO.
Seriously, that's a giant, flashing "I'm fucked up and will be doing the same thing to you soon if you let me" sign. I mean, go ahead and bang her if she's into it - it's not like you're breaking up anything special (or healthy) - but keep that one at arm's length at all costs.
[Jan 25,2008 10:54am - the_reverend ""]
that was my first thought too.
[Jan 25,2008 10:54am - the_reverend ""]
that and she obviously has herpes from fucking this dude behind her goodfriend's back.
[Jan 25,2008 10:55am - bradmann ""]
DestroyYouAlot said:GTFO.
Seriously, that's a giant, flashing "I'm fucked up and will be doing the same thing to you soon if you let me" sign. I mean, go ahead and bang her if she's into it - it's not like you're breaking up anything special (or healthy) - but keep that one at arm's length at all costs.
i mean that's the plan. i'm going to some french party tonight and she'll be there. all i know is i'm not walking her back all out of my way and shit.
and no rev, i'm not trying to figure girls out. that's impossible.
[Jan 25,2008 10:56am - BobNOMAAMRooney nli ""]
TAKE WHAT YOU WANT, RAPE THE BITCH
[Jan 25,2008 10:57am - the_reverend ""]
the girl might be temporary.. but herpes is forever.
You know this is the kind of situation that leads to you and this guy being on a talk show when she gets pregnant, blames it on the dude she "loves" and then in the end the tests say it's you. Do you really want that?
[Jan 25,2008 10:58am - aaron_michael ""]
DestroyYouAlot said:Seriously, that's a giant, flashing "I'm fucked up and will be doing the same thing to you soon if you let me" sign.
Definitely backing this statement. If you actually dig her, abort.
If she's willing to lead you on into a potentially fucktastic situation while she's got some other guy on the line, what makes you think she won't do the same thing if you wind up dating her.
Tricks man.
[Jan 25,2008 10:58am - bradmann ""]
the_reverend said:the girl might be temporary.. but herpes is forever.
You know this is the kind of situation that leads to you and this guy being on a talk show when she gets pregnant, blames it on the dude she "loves" and then in the end the tests say it's you. Do you really want that?
thats what bukkake is for my friend.
[Jan 25,2008 11:02am - GoatCatalyst ""]
Not to be racist or anything, but if she's Italian and goes to French parties... she's likely susceptible to savage Gallic anal. I say "pursue" but be wary of the snakes in her head and let the ol "PIBH" be the extent of your relations with the sozzle.
[Jan 25,2008 11:03am - the_reverend ""]
Sexually transmitted disease (STD)—an infection that is passed during oral, anal, or vaginal sexual contact. There are many sexually transmitted diseases, including chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, genital herpes, HIV, genital warts, and trichomonas.
[Jan 25,2008 11:04am - bradmann ""]
GoatCatalyst said:Not to be racist or anything, but if she's Italian and goes to French parties... she's likely susceptible to savage Gallic anal. I say "pursue" but be wary of the snakes in her head and let the ol "PIBH" be the extent of your relations with the sozzle.
PIBH= penis in butt hole?
that would be money if she dug pooper sex
[Jan 25,2008 11:09am - Timma ""]
WARNING: The following phrase is comprised of coniving, psychotic, and/or completely fucked-up woman speak:
"sort-of boyfriend"
I'd be careful with this one man...only a matter of time before shit hits the proverbial fan.
[Jan 25,2008 11:10am - the_reverend ""]
no coment
[Jan 25,2008 11:12am - bradmann ""]
i mean, i really had very little intention of pursuing her before i made this thread. i just wanted to share this horrible display of a woman to all of you caring, insightful, and compassionate boardgoers.
[Jan 25,2008 11:13am - the_reverend ""]
mess with the bull, get the horns.
[Jan 25,2008 11:14am - GoatCatalyst ""]
Precisely. Though you may want to administer my patented "will I catch something?" test prior to said PIBH - if you can fit four fingers in her bum she is most certainly a whore and you would do well to use a durable latex dongsheath as bareback and lambskin pleasantries are out of the question.
[Jan 25,2008 11:17am - DestroyYouAlot ""]
GoatCatalyst said:Not to be racist or anything, but if she's Italian and goes to French parties... she's likely susceptible to savage Gallic anal.
"Savage Gallic Anal" is now a band name. Who's playing what?
[Jan 25,2008 11:21am - largefreakatzero ""]
1. Find out who the "friend" is that is dating the "sort-of" boyfriend. Rape the shit out of her.
2. Find the "sort-of" boyfriend. Rape him too.
3. ????
4. Profit!
[Jan 25,2008 11:39am - KillerKadoogan ""]
Is her name Mya?
Does she live in Mission Hill?
Does she have an awesome collection of Ramones lunchboxes?
If you answered yes to all 3, it's a trap, and she will ruin your shit.
[Jan 25,2008 11:58am - bradmann ""]
KillerKadoogan said:Is her name Mya?
Does she live in Mission Hill?
Does she have an awesome collection of Ramones lunchboxes?
If you answered yes to all 3, it's a trap, and she will ruin your shit.
no this girl is an actual italian, from milan and shit.
but that sucks man. beware of calumet.
[Jan 25,2008 11:59am - corpus_colostomy ""]
never date an eyetalian chick...they are crazier than a bag of shit house rats.
im 100% ginzo and the first thing my old man told me was stay clear, young man.
[Jan 25,2008 12:00pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
KillerKadoogan said:Is her name Mya?
Does she live in Mission Hill?
Does she have an awesome collection of Ramones lunchboxes?
If you answered yes to all 3, it's a trap, and she will ruin your shit.
There has got to be an awesome story behind this.
[Jan 25,2008 12:13pm - aaron_michael ""]
corpus_colostomy said:never date an eyetalian chick...they are crazier than a bag of shit house rats.
im 100% ginzo and the first thing my old man told me was stay clear, young man.
I lived with an italian girlfriend for 3 months.
she went batshit.
then stole my cats.
motherfuck.
http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=17817750
[Jan 25,2008 12:14pm - the_reverend ""]
robin should be posting in this thread.
[Jan 25,2008 12:14pm - the_reverend ""]
Video Link
[Jan 25,2008 12:55pm - Yeti ""]
yeah dude get the fuck away while you can. even fucking her once will open the gates.
[Jan 25,2008 12:59pm - KillerKadoogan ""]
bradmann said:KillerKadoogan said:Is her name Mya?
Does she live in Mission Hill?
Does she have an awesome collection of Ramones lunchboxes?
If you answered yes to all 3, it's a trap, and she will ruin your shit.
no this girl is an actual italian, from milan and shit.
but that sucks man. beware of calumet.
Bahahaha she really is on Calumet, too. Wasn't me, though. She fucked over my buddy pretty well. At least you didn't get sucked into the false comfort of Joey Ramone's face on a thermos.
[Jan 25,2008 1:06pm - bradmann ""]
and on fifth glance, how much am i missing?
[img]
[img]
[img]
[Jan 25,2008 1:08pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
Well, she is decently attractive. Nice boobtop.
[Jan 25,2008 1:33pm - the_reverend ""]
nerd slut.
[Jan 25,2008 1:34pm - the_reverend ""]
and girls from milan sound stupid and are whores. that's what carina taught me.
[Jan 25,2008 1:46pm - aaron_michael ""]
bradmann said:
[img]
[img]
[Jan 25,2008 2:06pm - SkinSandwich ""]
no this girl is an actual italian, from milan and shit.
but that sucks man. beware of calumet.>>
Remember, the Italians sided with Hitler. Watch your step with these folks.
[Jan 25,2008 4:55pm - Fuck Logging In ""]
she's cute, but not hot enough to get messed-up with a head fuck situation. there's plenty of cute-nerd girls who ain't crazy.
[Jan 25,2008 4:57pm - RichHorror ""]
I just read this entire thread and have but one qustion.
WHEN THE FUCK DID RTTP TURN INTO THE B9 BOARD?
[Jan 25,2008 5:02pm - DomesticTerror ""]
fuck her boyfriend. that'll show her.
[Jan 25,2008 5:14pm - DaveFromTheGrave ""]
Timma said:WARNING: The following phrase is comprised of coniving, psychotic, and/or completely fucked-up woman speak:
"sort-of boyfriend"
I'd be careful with this one man...only a matter of time before shit hits the proverbial fan.
I have figured out women's vocabulary enough to decipher this phrase, "sort-of boyfriend."
This is a guy who she's been hanging out with and probably fucking, helping him to cheat on his actual girlfriend. She wants a relationship with him but he doesn't want one with her because she's a stupid twat, so he just fucks her and leads her on. She's not comfortable with calling him her boyfriend because, frankly, he isn't, but she wishes he was. Eventually he'll get sick of her and throw her out with the trash. Then she'll be ripe for the picking, a used up stupid whore all for you. life is good.
[Jan 25,2008 5:16pm - DaveFromTheGrave ""]
the_reverend said:and girls from milan sound stupid and are whores. that's what carina taught me.
I thought Carina was Canadian?
[Jan 25,2008 5:23pm - the_reverend ""]
if you tell her that, she will correct you and say something about how she is italian, but was just born in canada.
[Jan 25,2008 5:26pm - BobNOMAAMRooney nli ""]
You should fuck her, film it, then edit in Super Mario Bros. sound effects.
[Jan 25,2008 5:28pm - pam nli ""]
She's not into it, hang it up and save yourself some misery.
[Jan 25,2008 5:47pm - DaveFromTheGrave ""]
pam nli said:She's not into it, hang it up and save yourself some misery.
best advice I've heard in a long time.
[Jan 25,2008 5:53pm - dreadkill ""]
Riddle me, riddle me, rot-tot-tote!
A little wee man, in a red red coat!
A staff in his hand, and a stone in his throat;
If you'll tell me this riddle, I'll give you a groat.
[Jan 25,2008 6:08pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
PUT IT IN HER POOPER
[Jan 25,2008 8:15pm - titsmagee ""]
MAMA MIA ...
[img]
[Jan 25,2008 9:24pm - Mucko ""]
Looks like she's wearing cover-up to hide an adam's apple. Are her feet real long too?
[Jan 25,2008 9:26pm - Mucko ""]
Even better is that the fact that you are asking advice from a bunch people who cannot get laid.
[Jan 25,2008 10:02pm - Lamp ""]
RichHorror said:I just read this entire thread and have but one qustion.
WHEN THE FUCK DID RTTP TURN INTO THE B9 BOARD?
You took the words right out of my mouth.
To the OP of this thread, get ebola and die in a grease fire.
[Jan 25,2008 10:03pm - Lamp ""]
BobNOMAAMRooney nli said:You should fuck her, film it, then edit in Super Mario Bros. sound effects.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[Jan 26,2008 10:31am - Whoremastery ""]
had kinda the same situation like this just happen to me....stay away! and write a song or, two about her and, how she's a fucking douche...then watch her cry...you'll feel so much better!
[Jan 26,2008 12:18pm - pam nli ""]
Mucko said:Even better is that the fact that you are asking advice from a bunch people who cannot get laid.
I get laid, I'm a female, thus my advice is the only one that should be taken.
To be totally blunt: If you're so uninteresting to her that she won't even break her "leaving my options open for someone else's boyfriend" stance, you are wasting your time and she is probably a fucked up dizzy broad in the first place.
However if you're determined to lure in this broad...my best advice is to wear a wedding ring and talk about your wife and kids. Judging by her current situation, this should work like Spanish fly.
[Jan 26,2008 12:24pm - the_reverend ""]
that photoshop job is hilarious.
[Jan 26,2008 4:51pm - titsmagee ""]
yeah i was gunna put something else in her hand... ;0
hint*
(it starts with a "P" and ends in "enis")
[Jan 26,2008 4:56pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
titsmagee said:MAMA MIA ...
[img]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh my god, I saw this image first and didn't even realize it was a photoshop. Bravo, my friend. Bravo.
[Jan 26,2008 5:05pm - pam ""]
menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:titsmagee said:MAMA MIA ...
[img]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh my god, I saw this image first and didn't even realize it was a photoshop. Bravo, my friend. Bravo.
I didn't catch it at first either. I can't even open a picture on that program, I am impressed.
[Jan 26,2008 7:17pm - the_taste_of_cigarettes ""]
This does not appear to be "Smokin' Hot" to me
[Jan 26,2008 7:29pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
The shadow of the bowl on the table = awesome.
[Jan 26,2008 7:31pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
I can't believe nobody's said "The Hot Chick Who Was Italian or Maybe Some Kind of Spanish" yet.
[Jan 26,2008 11:55pm - the_reverend ""]
I'm betting the wants 2 dicks, 1 ass
[Jan 27,2008 12:46am - the_reverend ""]
fast forward 8 months.
[img]
[Jan 27,2008 9:15am - douchebag_patrol ""]
[img]