Humorous or horrifying anal sex stories (male on female)[views:8958][posts:85]_________________________________ [Jun 9,2008 3:18pm - Dogbert ""] Post yours |
| _____________________________ [Jun 9,2008 3:30pm - Mess ""] i was once fucking a fat chick years ago. the dutie was done, so came the next day. we're sitting having a drink and she says "i can't believe last night" i said "yeah huh" (i was thinking she was talking about how good i banged that broad into oblivion but... that wasn't the case. she then says to me "that's the first time i've ever let anyone try anal on me". at that point, i didn't know what the fuck to say. i seriously had no fucking idea i was in her fat, looooose, fucking kaboooooose. the thing was definitely in rough shape. :bartmoon: |
| _____________________________ [Jun 9,2008 3:31pm - Yeti ""] that is a horrifying story. |
| _____________________________ [Jun 9,2008 3:32pm - Mess ""] i felt dumb for not knowing where i threw my shit. but she should feel dumberer for having the loosest asshole on the southshore. |
| ____________________________ [Jun 9,2008 3:39pm - ZJD ""] It's hard to imagine that you mistook a dry asshole for anything else. Are you sure she wasn't fucking with you? |
| ________________________________ [Jun 9,2008 3:40pm - W3 nli ""] Mess said:the loosest asshole on the southshore. is her name Erin :HAHAHA: |
| ____________________________________ [Jun 9,2008 3:41pm - corpus_NLI ""] once my best bro and college roomy was fingering a chicks dumper and he pulled out a into bean on his finger. he calmly looked at the chick and said, "i think this belongs to you." classy.. |
| ____________________________________ [Jun 9,2008 3:41pm - corpus_NLI ""] into = pinto, my b. |
| _____________________________ [Jun 9,2008 3:54pm - Mess ""] ZJD said:It's hard to imagine that you mistook a dry asshole for anything else. Are you sure she wasn't fucking with you? i was fucking her bareback. and yesssss she could have been fucking with me and double yesss yesss i was absolutely double fucking retarded fucking on all types of drugs and booze. |
| _____________________________________ [Jun 9,2008 4:24pm - the_reverend ""] ass sweat was a plus in that story |
| ______________________________________ [Jun 10,2008 2:26am - ellesarusrex ""] really drunk having sex on my parents couch heard noises nobody was coming but it was enough to make kid i was dating dead limp.. but he was too drunk to realize.. tried to stick it back in i said no the fuck way and jokingly he put it in my ass.. i def almost puked on command haha like tryign to shove one of those wormy toys into your ass.. you know the ones that keep slipping out of your hands.. ugh blegh. hahahaha i would like to meet someone whos experienced pink sock lol |
| ________________________________________ [Jun 10,2008 6:35am - brad weymouth ""] the first time fooling around with a chick, im going down on her and started tickling her butthole(we had both just showered). she seemed to enjoy the tickling, so i shoved my middle finger up her butt...all i heard was "whoa?" so i slowly extracted the finger, which was clean. i was then known as Mr Badfinger:bartmoon: |
| __________________________________ [Jun 10,2008 8:02pm - Dankill ""] Only done anal once and that was when I was 17 and the girl was this quiet mousey lil catholic school girl. It confirmed the belief that behind closed doors, even the most meek catholic school girl turned into a massive repressed whore. |
| _______________________________ [Jun 10,2008 8:25pm - Hoser ""] I had a chick peel out on the living room carpet and slam her head into the fouton. I think that she passed out for a sec, then she just started crying. |
| ______________________________________ [Jun 10,2008 8:26pm - the_reverend ""] this thread should be moar awesome. anal is awesome. if you think otherwise then your girl has a nappy stankass. tell her to wipe better and jab it in the badlands again. |
| ______________________________________ [Jun 10,2008 9:04pm - the_reverend ""] if it's not asstastic, you are doing it wrong. |
| __________________________________________ [Jun 10,2008 11:28pm - Conservationist ""] I'm an asscetic, I don't engage in karmic behaviors |
| ______________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 9:14am - ellesarusrex ""] my ffriend jason told me a silly anal story yesterday ...he fucked this nasty broad and pulled out a shit covered dick.. shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitdick. ugh.. i dont get how broads can be so disgusting... another thign i dont understand is chicks that smell like dead fish. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?? |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 9:17am - aaron_michael ""] one of the best text messages I've ever received in my life was "lose my number, delete me off myspace, my ass hasn't stopped bleeding for 8 hours" |
| ________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 9:18am - xmikex ""] vagina ftw |
| __________________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 10:54am - Conservationist ""] If you don't lubricate, the walls of her rectum close in on your member. This creates a suction from within to without. Lubricate and stretch that ass, and you won't be a turdpump. |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 10:59am - ellesarusrex ""] Conservationist said:If you don't lubricate, the walls of her rectum close in on your member. This creates a suction from within to without. Lubricate and stretch that ass, and you won't be a turdpump. end result = pink sock |
| __________________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 11:00am - Conservationist ""] [img] |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 11:04am - ellesarusrex ""] hahaa |
| _______________________________ [Jun 11,2008 12:43pm - Yeti ""] xmikex said:vagina ftw agreed. i don't understand the ass fetish. i mean i love a nice ass, and i do enjoy using the finger, but i'll stick with vag. it works just fine for me. |
| _______________________________ [Jun 11,2008 12:58pm - blue ""] no poophole plzkthx |
| _________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 1:11pm - Martins ""] ONLY poophole plzkthx |
| _________________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 3:05pm - Conservationist ""] ONLY poophole is true!!! |
| _____________________________ [Jun 11,2008 3:06pm - mOe ""] Dont have a story for this one. Never been. |
| _________________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 3:07pm - Conservationist ""] then why is the O in your name so big? haha |
| ______________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 3:09pm - the_reverend ""] zing. |
| ___________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 3:12pm - starmummy ""] I stumbled upon a cream pie video online with full pink sock. I almost puked. |
| ___________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 3:14pm - starmummy ""] First time I tried anal it just wouldn't go in. Second time she let me do it and it was great......for me. I found out much later that she was actually in a lot of pain but didn't bother to tell me. I would love to try it again, but this time I'd be smart enough to use lube. That was a long time ago. |
| ______________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 3:31pm - the_reverend ""] no lube! n00b mistake. girls need to learn to take it in the p00per. otherwise, what's an analversary with out it!? |
| ______________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 3:32pm - Joshtruction ""] no lube heard a "I think I am bleeding" so I looked down... "thats nasty, get the fuck away from me" .... I got shit dicked. Weird because we had done it many times before with no weird stuff like that. I guess thats the worst I got. |
| ______________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 5:51pm - ellesarusrex ""] ...lube is digusting. |
| __________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 5:56pm - Grizloch ""] apparently a friend of mine passed out a few weeks ago and woke up with her bung hole hurting, she confronted her boyfriend (who is practically her brother [in a totally non-biological way...] which is a whole different story), who said he lubed her up and did the deed while she slept she wasnt drunk HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!?! HOW COULD YOU NOT WAKE UP?!?! |
| _____________________________ [Jun 11,2008 6:01pm - mOe ""] some people are hard sleepers, man...and how could she have not smelled the lube...lube fuckin stinks, man |
| ______________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 6:24pm - the_reverend ""] lungey lube. |
| ______________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 6:55pm - ellesarusrex ""] Grizloch said:apparently a friend of mine passed out a few weeks ago and woke up with her bung hole hurting, she confronted her boyfriend (who is practically her brother [in a totally non-biological way...] which is a whole different story), who said he lubed her up and did the deed while she slept she wasnt drunk HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!?! HOW COULD YOU NOT WAKE UP?!?! when i was 19 my boyfriend did this to me.. hahaha i woke up though and cried.. |
| __________________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 6:56pm - corpus DIE fuck ""] woooow. |
| ______________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 6:59pm - Joshtruction ""] ellesarusrex said: Grizloch said:apparently a friend of mine passed out a few weeks ago and woke up with her bung hole hurting, she confronted her boyfriend (who is practically her brother [in a totally non-biological way...] which is a whole different story), who said he lubed her up and did the deed while she slept she wasnt drunk HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!?! HOW COULD YOU NOT WAKE UP?!?! when i was 19 my boyfriend did this to me.. hahaha i woke up though and cried.. So have you learned to like it while your awake and expecting it yet? |
| ______________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 7:01pm - ellesarusrex ""] not like a champ... |
| ___________________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 7:03pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] [img] |
| __________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 7:05pm - dertoxia ""] hahaha i'm still laughing!! |
| ________________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 7:11pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] Bum is fun, as long as the girl knows when NOT to do it. Lube + one in the chamber = brown slip & slide. NO THANKS. |
| _________________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 7:16pm - Conservationist ""] ellesarusrex said:...lube is digusting. Use olive oil, like the priests do. |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 10:47pm - quintessence ""] [img] |
| __________________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 10:53pm - SacreligionNLI ""] all-vegetable longening |
| __________________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 10:53pm - SacreligionNLI ""] *lengthening ugh...fail |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 10:55pm - ellesarusrex ""] quintessence said:[img] lookin out for your vegetarian pal. |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 11:02pm - quintessence ""] It was her idea... |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 11:03pm - ellesarusrex ""] loling |
| ___________________________________ [Jun 11,2008 11:04pm - succubus ""] blue said:no poophole plzkthx i thought you were going to say something else... remember that infamous quote?? |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 12,2008 12:52am - the_reverend ""] some dude sounds like he's got a ruffie connection. |
| _________________________________________ [Jun 12,2008 1:03am - SacreligionNLI ""] do you ever sleep? |
| __________________________________________ [Jun 12,2008 2:04am - douchebag_patrol ""] [img] [img] [img] |
| __________________________________________ [Jun 12,2008 7:05am - douchebag_patrol ""] [img] |
| ______________________________ [Jun 12,2008 8:28am - guy ""] ellesarusrex said: Grizloch said:apparently a friend of mine passed out a few weeks ago and woke up with her bung hole hurting, she confronted her boyfriend (who is practically her brother [in a totally non-biological way...] which is a whole different story), who said he lubed her up and did the deed while she slept she wasnt drunk HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!?! HOW COULD YOU NOT WAKE UP?!?! when i was 19 my boyfriend did this to me.. hahaha i woke up though and cried.. LOL |
| ______________________________________ [Jun 12,2008 8:42am - the_reverend ""] i played gta until 2:30.. oops. |
| __________________________________________ [Jun 14,2008 4:18am - douchebag_patrol ""] [img] |
| ____________________________________ [Jun 14,2008 5:02am - DYA / NLI ""] douchebag_patrol said:[img] Looks like a half-chewed Starburst. |
| _______________________________ [Jun 14,2008 5:33am - anon ""] me and an ex girlfriend were really drunk and about to pass out and we were lying naked in bed and im not sure how it happened but i just kinda shoved it in and she screamed haha |
| _______________________________________________________ [Jun 14,2008 8:46am - Rabbi Gorgorothsteinbergthal ""] douchebag_patrol said:[img] A black goatse! Forget Barack Obama, this man has created equality in our time. |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 14,2008 12:33pm - SkinSandwich ""] shit |
| _______________________________ [Jun 15,2008 9:25pm - anon ""] saw a girl passed out on a picnic table the next morning after a huge bash in the summer, wearing white pants with a red spot on her bunghole area. i bet there's a funny story to that one somewhere. wish i took a pic. |
| ________________________________ [Jun 15,2008 10:43pm - anon ""] <img src="http://www.manbottle.com/pictures/assorgy.jpg"> |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 16,2008 12:19am - ellesarusrex ""] anon said:saw a girl passed out on a picnic table the next morning after a huge bash in the summer, wearing white pants with a red spot on her bunghole area. i bet there's a funny story to that one somewhere. wish i took a pic. hahaha white pants. |
| _____________________________________ [May 27,2011 11:33am - dill hole ""] the_reverend said:anal is awesome. |
| _________________________________________ [May 27,2011 12:49pm - eyehatehippies ""] Okay, you want it? On the recent Black Pyramid tour in Europe, we were touring with the guys from Blood Farmers. Dave Depraved from Blood Farmers is an odd guy, and when we were in Slovenia, he got a hold of some hardcore Slovenian porn. So we're just driving along, and he's in the back of the van with the two other dudes, and we hear him saying, "oh yeah, she definitely has that champagne bottle all the way in there, on the next page, she pours a drink out of it. I wish I could read the captions, I mean, can someone explain this to me? Is that girl holding a bag so that she can piss into it? Why is she also holding a lighter? And what's with the shaving cream. Yeah, this is definite four out of five star material here." At this point, our tour manager pulls over the van so we all can see what the hell he is talking about, and it comes out that he used to review porn, and after that, he worked for Penthouse under various pseudonyms. So he starts telling us some crazy stories. One of them had to do with an interracial, geriatric porn scene where this dude named Wesley Pipes was going to do an anal scene with this like 70 year old lady, and Dave had to get an exclusive interview with him. Anyways, Wesley lays into the old lady's ass, and pretty soon, her bowels just let loose, and shit is just flying all over, so they cut the scene and call for someone to get in and clean it up. At this point, Dave goes in for the interview, and asks Wesley Pipes what he thought of the whole thing. And Wesley just goes, "hey, shit happens, you know?" I guess no one was that upset or grossed out on the set, like he said, it happens all the time. So they cleaned the old lady up, cleaned up the set, re-shot the scene. That was a good story, but nothing compared to Dave Depraved's story about the porns he actually was IN. His description of a weenie roast orgy scene is nothing short of AMAZING, especially when he described the "three legged race" scene that he was an extra for. |
| ______________________________ [May 27,2011 3:30pm - Yeti ""] i came here for dicks and abortions and all i got were anal sex stories. son, i am disappoint. |
| ________________________________________ [May 27,2011 5:34pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] Yeti said:i came here for dicks and abortions and all i got were anal sex stories. son, i am disappoint. i'm blocking all these posters. |
| _______________________________________ [Oct 18,2011 2:05pm - bang her bum ""] anyone got new stories? i banged a chick up her ass hole last week. nothing humorous or horrifying though. too bad. |
| ______________________________ [Oct 18,2011 3:15pm - Yeti ""] eyehatehippies said:Okay, you want it? I am butthurt. |
| ______________________________________ [Oct 19,2011 3:23pm - the mex nli ""] LOL @ yetis comment....last time I did it, a fine layer of shit was on my dick. Thank the gods I was wearing a condom. I threw up in my mouth a little from the scene/smell. Icky. |
| __________________________________________ [Oct 19,2011 3:37pm - largefreakatzero ""] Done it before, but much prefer the vagina. Too many bad things come out of an asshole. |
| _______________________________________ [Oct 19,2011 4:46pm - sexicutioner ""] largefreakatzero said:Done it before, but much prefer the vagina. Too many bad things come out of an asshole. like menstrual blood, yeasty discharge and mucous? oh wait. |
| __________________________________________ [Oct 19,2011 4:52pm - largefreakatzero ""] None of those things are shit, though. Big difference. |
| ______________________________ [Oct 19,2011 5:04pm - Lamp ""] There is nothing wrong with a light coating of menstrual blood for lubrication purposes. |
| ________________________________________ [Oct 24,2011 11:50pm - man o warski ""] zaxzx |
| ___________________________________ [Oct 25,2011 2:54am - chriskar ""] senior year high school...girlfriend at the time was down to try anal so i said "FUCK IT" , she shit all over my dick, so i rinsed it off in her vagina. she was from windham NH, we called it the windham wash. still lives on today. |
| _________________________________________________________ [Oct 25,2011 4:22am - tits flavored ice cream sundae ""] whEn a CoCk enTers tHE uNfoRgivInG thREshHold oF tHE FUCKING SHITNIGGER SMALL INTESTINAL ASSFUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yOu beGin to NOTicE a ChANge iN yoUr SensOrY nOdEs Only Then Can You Hope To TRULY FUCKING GOD DMAN EXPIERIENCE WHTA TRUE ANAL SEX IS FUCKING GOD DAMN FUCK ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it IS a SaD stAte oF AFfaiRs wH en PEoPle Do noT knOW ThE Joys Of Turning Your FUCKING COCK INTO TOILET PAPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It Is A Similar Feeling One Would Experience To Using Your Erect Penis as A tamPoN foR a LaDy on onE of HeR HeaVY fLOw dAys, YoUR faCe adAPtinG an eXpre SSioN Of AMazeMenT AS yoU NotIce yOuR GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING COCK TURNING INTO A GOD DAMN ICE FUCKING CREAM FUCKING CONE DIPPED IN SHITCUNT BALLSWEAT CHERRY FUCKUING ICE CREAM DIP YOU ASSHOLE EAT SHTT AND KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! beCauSe it Would Truly Be A Thing Of Wonder Ha d You Experienced Anything Of The Like Prior To This Engagement. |
| _________________________________________ [Jun 28,2013 12:27pm - Dana DeArmond ""] I just LOVE buttholes! |
| __________________________________ [Oct 17,2015 7:35pm - shekkie ""] blue said:no poophole plzkthx |
| _________________________________ [Oct 25,2015 9:19pm - C-SPAN ""] [img] |
| ________________________________________________ [Oct 27,2015 1:18am - DAMN NIGGERS AND JEWS ""] xxx |