The Ant and the Grasshopper[views:5399][posts:19]___________________________________ [Aug 19,2008 2:43pm - SlypKnawt ""] TRADITIONAL VERSION: > > The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building > his house and laying up supplies for the winter. > > The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and > plays the summer away. > > Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no > food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. > > MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself! > > > MODERN VERSION > > The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building > his house and laying up supplies for the winter. > > The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and > plays the summer away. > > Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and > demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others > are cold and starving. > CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the > shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable > home with a table filled with food. > > America is stunned by the sharp contrast. > > How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor > grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? > > Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody > cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.' > > Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house > where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome. > Jesse > then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's > sake. > > Nancy Pelosi, Barack Obama, John Kerry & Harry Reid exclaim in an > interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of > the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant > to make him pay his fair share. > > Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper > Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer! The ant is fined for > failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having > nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by > the government. > > Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in > a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a > panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of > single-parent welfare recipients. > > The ant loses the case. > > The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits > of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just > happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he > doesn't > maintain it. > > The ant has disappeared in the snow. > > The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the > house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who > terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood. > > MORAL OF THE STORY: > > Be very careful how you vote in 2008 |
| _________________________________ [Aug 19,2008 2:46pm - c.DeAd ""] Such a dork. |
| ______________________________ [Aug 19,2008 3:55pm - guy ""] boooo |
| ______________________________ [Aug 19,2008 3:59pm - sean ""] "Its just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. Then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?" |
| ________________________________ [Aug 19,2008 4:13pm - xmikex ""] So wait, Michael Dukakis is the grasshopper or the ant? |
| ______________________________________________ [Aug 19,2008 4:14pm - BobNOMAAMRooney nli ""] SlypKnawt said: TRADITIONAL VERSION: > > The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building > his house and laying up supplies for the winter. > > The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and > plays the summer away. > > Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no > food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. > > MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself! > > > MODERN VERSION > > The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building > his house and laying up supplies for the winter. > > The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and > plays the summer away. > > Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and > demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others > are cold and starving. > CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the > shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable > home with a table filled with food. > > America is stunned by the sharp contrast. > > How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor > grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? > > Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody > cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.' > > Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house > where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome. > Jesse > then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's > sake. > > Nancy Pelosi, Barack Obama, John Kerry & Harry Reid exclaim in an > interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of > the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant > to make him pay his fair share. > > Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper > Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer! The ant is fined for > failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having > nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by > the government. > > Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in > a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a > panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of > single-parent welfare recipients. > > The ant loses the case. > > The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits > of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just > happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he > doesn't > maintain it. > > The ant has disappeared in the snow. > > The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the > house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who > terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood. > > MORAL OF THE STORY: > > Be very careful how you vote in 2008 There's one flaw with your story, Ants are niggers. |
| _________________________________________ [Aug 19,2008 4:33pm - Conservationist ""] Death to all parasites. People with a purpose in life should not have to support those without one. |
| ______________________________________ [Aug 19,2008 4:42pm - deadlikemurf ""] stop posting shit your dad forwards u. |
| _________________________________________ [Aug 19,2008 4:51pm - Conservationist ""] Are we upset that someone called the Democrats on their parasitism? |
| ______________________________________ [Aug 19,2008 6:06pm - deadlikemurf ""] no. chain e-mails are bad political discourse. is your contention that republicans aren't as equally parasitic? |
| _______________________________________ [Aug 19,2008 6:28pm - y_ddraig_goch ""] aren't all politicians parasites. look at pakistan, they've had trouble with their leader since day one, so they hire mushariff because he's an honest man from the middle class....and look where that got them, he resigned due to threats of impeachment and now they have to find someone vastly unqualified to fill the position, the two dudes running have no experience....sounds like our elections almost |
| _______________________________ [Aug 19,2008 7:21pm - Hoser ""] Hahahahaha...I like this kid, even if he is a fucking douchebag. Seems to sum it up pretty well. It's funny reading the retorts. "Well, uh...ya well all politicians are parasites...I'm still voting for Obama." |
| ______________________________________ [Aug 19,2008 7:46pm - the_reverend ""] thought this was about the taste of silver. |
| ______________________________________ [Aug 19,2008 7:49pm - the_reverend ""] Whatever you neglected to do unto one of these least of these, you neglected to do unto me |
| _________________________________ [Aug 19,2008 8:58pm - W3 nli ""] this was the only The Taste of Silver song i enjoyed. |
| _________________________________________ [Aug 19,2008 9:02pm - Conservationist ""] deadlikemurf said:is your contention that republicans aren't as equally parasitic? I think they are less parasitic, but to answer the implicit question, I don't trust either party because both must come up with $1bn to run, which means, inherently, they're bought and paid for. To take it even further: democracy is shit and I want to destroy it. It gives power to the stupid, who are numerous: We see that r-selected organisms have many babies, but most of these youngsters never become adults. Frogs are a good example of r-selected organisms. Frogs lay many eggs and leave them in the water to hatch into tadpoles. Some of the eggs get eaten, and many of the little tadpoles are eaten, too, by dragon-fly larvae and fishes and fishing birds. When the tadpoles become frogs, many animals are waiting on shore to eat them: raccoons, foxes, snakes, cats, and many other small predators. If one frog from a hundred eggs lives to be a parent, his/her survival is really outstanding. But frogs go on because they lay so many eggs. Elephants are examples of K-selected animals. Female elephants have babies about three years apart, and they have only one each time. The whole group looks after the youngsters, and protects them through childhood and adolescence. By reproducing at a rate that holds their numbers close to constant, elephants are able to survive in stable ecosystems. Because they ensure the survival of a good percentage of their young, elephants do not need to produce many elephant babies. http://curriculum.calstatela.edu/courses/b...s/lessons/less/biomes/breeding.html |
| ______________________________________ [Aug 20,2008 2:36pm - deadlikemurf ""] is your contention that the united states is a democracy? |
| _________________________________________ [Aug 20,2008 3:06pm - Conservationist ""] Yes, because it is, albeit of a Republican form. Genre: Democracy Subgenre: Republic |
| _______________________________________ [Aug 20,2008 3:22pm - y_ddraig_goch ""] Hoser said:Hahahahaha...I like this kid, even if he is a fucking douchebag. Seems to sum it up pretty well. It's funny reading the retorts. "Well, uh...ya well all politicians are parasites...I'm still voting for Obama." eff that jazz, I hate Obama more than McCain. I honestly think there is no hope, both are probably going to turn out worse than the Bush regime. In my opinion, I'd rather have some sort of benevolent dictator who can get shit done, as long as militias are allowed in case said dictator loses his purpose and his point |
| _________________________________________ [Aug 20,2008 3:27pm - Conservationist ""] y_ddraig_goch said:I'd rather have some sort of benevolent dictator who can get shit done, as long as militias are allowed in case said dictator loses his purpose and his point That's what Plato predicts will happen. Except, as he points out, the dictator will probably be chosen by mass tastes, not yours. So expect someone more like Putin or Stalin. |