So tearing last I wan almost got. For arrested night shorts.[views:1247][posts:7]_____________________________________________ [Sep 9,2008 4:53am - BobNOMAAMRooney nli ""] So I was out stealing motorcycles from 10-11:15 last night, and while I was speeding off i guess the MA state police were chasing some fruit taking a leak around the back streets of the area. Anyhow, when I'm done I go outside to smoke a cigarette and while I'm out there I spy another bike behind the building. As I come back out front, I get grabbed by my mom who drags me over to the side of the building and start asking me questions about where I've been and what I was doing. Now apparently my mom got scared and said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in bel aire. Just then I realize that I left my jacket and helmet back in the dumpster near where I stole the bike and can't possibly get in the cab my mom's called for me. So I head back to the place about seven or eight and I see the cops surrounding my taller doppelganger, just then I realized that like in Highlander there can be only one so I tore off my shorts and then out of nowhere I get grabbed by about 4 ro 5 state troopers who drag me over to the side of the building and start asking me questions about where I've been and what I was doing. Now apparently sir douche-a-lot and his crack team of investigative masterminds were having difficulty grasping the fact that I couldn't be this asshole they were looking for as I had my mom vouching for me, a cab waiting for me (that I identified by its license plate that said "FRESH" and dice in the mirror), as well as a stolen motorcycle in the parking lot which I had keys to and a registration with Balthazar Getty's name on it. Somehow a pair of shorts was involved in this, and they try to bust me on indecent exposure charges for pissing behind some gaybar. Turns out the guy they are looking for is even from the same town I am so they're doing everything they can to try to get me to admit that I'm someone I'm not. One cop even thought he tricked me into saying something(which I didn't, because I didn't even talk to the police because I saw that on the internet) and went on some cocky rant about using "verbal judo." But I didn't say anything just like the internet told me. So after all this, they bring some crackwhore from down the street who saw the guy they were looking for(who I later find out to be some 6'2 guy. I'm 5'1, mind you) and she IDs me as the guy who did whatever it was that pissed them off. I've been in cuffs for over an hour now and have the literal purple rings around my wrist, and they're on their way to put me in the cruiser and take me away due to this "overwhelming amount of evidence against me." Thankfully, the oldest and apparently smartest of all the worcester and state police that were there finally put two and two together and realized i wasn't the right person. They fuckin took my picture too. So if they go to this guy and say "do you know this person?" the guy can just say "YEAH HE RIPPED OFF HIS TAN SHORTS!" and i'll get fucked. I don't even know how to undress myself without mom's help In conclusion, upwards of 10 cops wasted an hour and a half of their time trying to get me to admit to something I obviously didn't do, meanwhile the actual perpetrator is in their custody outside of that gaybar up the street. GO POLICE! |
| _____________________________ [Sep 9,2008 7:25am - Yeti ""] this just made my day. |
| ____________________________________ [Sep 9,2008 8:02am - ouchdrummer ""] lulz |
| _____________________________________ [Sep 9,2008 8:51am - the_reverend ""] when life gives you lemons, shoot a bitch. |
| ________________________________________ [Sep 9,2008 9:02am - metal_church101 ""] Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!! |
| _________________________________ [Sep 9,2008 10:30am - c.DeAd ""] That was so much better than someones life story. The line "I don't even know how to undress myself without mom's help" made me laugh pretty hard. Good shit. |
| ______________________________ [Sep 9,2008 10:39am - Yeti ""] when god gives you lemons, FIND A NEW GOD!!! |
| _________________________________________ [Sep 9,2008 11:18am - sacreligionnli ""] god dammit bob. somehow i knew this was all your fault. |