Annihilating the bathroom at work appreciation[views:16241][posts:105]_____________________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 8:37am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] So I've been drinking this tea that acts as a system flush, and I definitely just showed the bathroom here at work a thing or two about a thing or two. Just so it knows I mean business, I'll be returning around lunch time to lay down the brown once again. Everyone's day is now ruined and I laugh. |
| ______________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 8:38am - the_reverend ""] bring a gameboy. |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 8:41am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] I play BrickBreaker. |
| __________________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 8:45am - largefreakatzero ""] I pooped out a whole piece of roasted red pepper this morning. I turned around to flush, saw red and thought I was having a major health issue. Thankfully, only a piece of pepper -- those can now join the list of foods that won't digest (e.g. corn, peanuts, blueberries). |
| _____________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 8:55am - ouchdrummer ""] gross. I have a viral infection. So business is serious. Seriously nasty that is. fucking gross. and it hurts. :( |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 8:56am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] These moves are smooth. |
| _____________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 9:00am - ouchdrummer ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:These moves are smooth. Jealous. I have what i lovingly call constareaha. |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 9:01am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Haha, no good. I'm just dropping brown bombs at will. |
| ______________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 9:04am - the_reverend ""] today you are playing mudblaster not brickblater |
| ______________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 9:05am - the_reverend ""] blaster |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 9:09am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Truth. |
| _______________________________ [Dec 16,2008 9:15am - dftg ""] whats the name of that system flush tea? |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 9:24am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Smooth Move, from Whole Foods. |
| _____________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 9:26am - ouchdrummer ""] wow, it's called smooth move? That's sweet. |
| _______________________________ [Dec 16,2008 9:28am - dftg ""] haha I just had a conversation with one of the secretaries here to ask her why the office bathroom is now off-limits for everyone but the office workers...apparently somebody's been shitting on the toilet seat in there or something. I need to find a different job. |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 9:54am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Hahahahaha amazing! |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 10:00am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Yesterday when I took a shit at work there was shit on the toilet tank. Fucking sweet. |
| ________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 10:06am - timma ""] Yesterday I went in to take a leak, and there was some dude stankin up the joint so fucking bad. So I'm just chillin' taking a piss and all the sudden this guy SMASHES the toilet bowl via butt mud and lets out this pathetic sounded wimper afterwards. I then started to pee really hard from trying to hold on my laughter. |
| ________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 10:09am - dftg ""] Way back when I was working in a mexican restaraunt, I was heading towards the bathroom and right before I walked through the door, some huge fat pakistani practically runs out of there, like he's in a big hurry for some reason. I walked into the room and it literally felt like I got punched in the nose, the stench was so intense. |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 10:11am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] The dudes that work here must eat some of the most rancid food ever. After any of them get off the pot, it smells like a dumpster full of dairy products on a humid day in July. |
| _______________________________ [Dec 16,2008 10:29am - Yeti ""] dftg said:haha I just had a conversation with one of the secretaries here to ask her why the office bathroom is now off-limits for everyone but the office workers...apparently somebody's been shitting on the toilet seat in there or something. I need to find a different job. that happened at my job, only it was someone kept shitting on the women's room floor. it happened 5 times, so they shut down the upstairs womens room, and the person started doing it downstairs. they never found the person, so i have dubbed them the Serial Phantom Shit Ninja. |
| __________________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 11:39am - metal_church101 ""] [img] |
| _________________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 12:26pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] In the process as we speak. text.rttp.poopin.com |
| ____________________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 12:29pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] its even more fun when the president of the company is sitting in the next stall over. |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 16,2008 12:32pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] I'm eating broccoli pie for lunch. Round two is going to be so punishing for the porcelain. |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 8:22am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] The punishment continues. First I dropped a pound and a half in my own commode at 6:30 this morning, but my colon is not satisfied. The path of destruction has continued back to the bathroom at work, and once again, everyone's day is ruined except for mine. SUCCESS. |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 9:08am - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] I love this fucking thread! I think everyone should put a post up here! Nothing is better than dropping the load of a life time at work! |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 9:10am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Justice my brotha. Let the shit flow. |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 9:19am - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] I drank some land o lakes hot choclate, so I used 2 packs so it was extra thick! I was in the bathroom for over a 1/2 hour, people knocking on the door, the putrid smell leaking from the bottom of the door, it was an amazing load! |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 9:29am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Hot chocolate from Dunkin Donuts definitely produces similar results. I refrain from DD though, since I'm not too much a fan of diarrhea. |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 9:33am - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] Yes diarrhea is not a fun past time |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 9:34am - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] [img] I thought this would be appropiate with the holiday season coming up |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 10:14am - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] Yea I was taking ANOTHER dump this morning and reading one of the reading material provided, and all of a sudden one of the girls from the office just walked in. Probably one of the most embarrasing moments of my life. But i'm over it already |
| ________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 10:16am - dftg ""] did it stink? |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 10:20am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Haha, is it a unisex bathroom? |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 10:20am - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] Well I dont know to be sure. I dont think it was that bad but she may of thought so |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 10:21am - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] Yea its a unisex bathroom, the girls have their own bathroom but there is a extra bathroom just in case |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 10:28am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Haha, that fucking blows. Although the women that work here could walk into the men's room and I wouldn't be able to tell any difference. |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 10:31am - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] AT least she wasn't hot or anything, then I would really feel stupid! You know the easy part is over, the hard part is having to face her everday knowing that she walked in on me pooping. We are going to have to pretend like it never happend. |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 10:36am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] You should say, "Oh hey, remember that time you saw me laying cable? We should do that again sometime." |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 10:44am - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] Hahaha, thats funny shit. I think I'd probably get a sexual harrasment lawsuit against me. She's the human resource lady at the office. I feel small now |
| ________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 10:51am - dftg ""] was the door locked? |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 10:51am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] She's the one that didn't knock. She wanted your shit, dude. |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 11:00am - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] Hahaha, your right. I thought the door was locked. ITs one of those locks that you never know if its really locked or not. Its funny how the most embarrasing moments of your life can be prevented with the push of a button. |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 11:05am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] I'm just going to start shitting with the door open. |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 11:13am - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] That would make me feel so much better |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 11:32am - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] oh boy, me and the girl from the office just crossed paths. It was very uncoftorable |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 11:42am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] You might as well just kill her. |
| __________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 11:47am - c.DeAD ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:I'm just going to start shitting with the door open. That made me lol. That would be so funny. |
| ____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 11:52am - FuckIsMySignature ""] AnotherMetalDrummer said:AT least she wasn't hot or anything, then I would really feel stupid! You know the easy part is over, the hard part is having to face her everday knowing that she walked in on me pooping. We are going to have to pretend like it never happend. that happened when i was younger and just met my new hot step-cousin. 15 years later and its still awkward running into her. |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 11:52am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] I'm seriously considering it, since the idiots here barge in anyway. |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 11:53am - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] You wanna know the even funnier part? When I was done, I had to flush the toilet like 5 times because I had one of those nuggets that just dont go down. Damn those little nuggets |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 11:55am - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] AnotherMetalDrummer said:AT least she wasn't hot or anything, then I would really feel stupid! You know the easy part is over, the hard part is having to face her everday knowing that she walked in on me pooping. We are going to have to pretend like it never happend. It sucks too because I started working here like a 3 weeks ago so I am going to be known as the new guy who got walked in while he was taking a dump! I feel so small |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 12:07pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] I'd feel like a fucking champ. It's not you who has the image of a man shitting burned into your brain, haha. |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 12:14pm - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] hahahah thats awseome. Your making me feel warm inside |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 12:17pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] And hey, just remember you're not the dude known for humping a tree like one of the guys I work with. Speaking of that dude, he asked me today if it's wrong to fantasize about Beethoven...the St. Bernard from the movie. |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 12:22pm - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] HAHAHAH, now thats just disturbing! Is he like Dwight Schrewd from the Office? |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 12:25pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] He's more like Milton from Office Space if anything, only he speaks and it's always about fucking things that shouldn't be fucked, or assholes. |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 12:31pm - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] oh yea that must be really fun. lol, weirdo |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 12:37pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] He's sitting right across from me eating a tub of steak. |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 12:40pm - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] mmmmmmmmm steak |
| __________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 12:48pm - ZenErik ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:I play BrickBreaker. What's your high score? So far the best I've done is only 24,730. |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 1:01pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Your high score dwarfs mine, haha. I'm only up to 10K. But, I've only been playing for a week or two. |
| _________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 1:42pm - ScmFck ""] uhhh.......much beer and whiskey last night + wendys mushroom swiss burger for lunch = obscene noxious fumes eminating from my anus....soon to give way for a masterpiece painted on a porcelain canvas |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 1:49pm - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] words of a true artist |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 1:56pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] I'm so proud of RTTP for sharing their shit. |
| ___________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 2:22pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] ScmFck said:uhhh.......much beer and whiskey last night + wendys mushroom swiss burger for lunch = obscene noxious fumes eminating from my anus....soon to give way for a masterpiece painted on a porcelain canvas haha the jacobson brothers were vomitting with the fury last night. |
| _________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 2:37pm - ScmFck ""] fuckn gingers, can't handle their booze |
| ______________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 2:46pm - orgymf@work ""] any of you guys ever take straight psyllium? not the metamucil with 1.5% psyllium, but straight up shredded psyllium seed and husk. if not, you must try it. go to trader joes find a can with an egyptian style art design, it will say "secrets of the psyllium" mix 2 table spoons with 12 ounces of water in a large cup.....stir quickly, chug immediately (it goes down rough, but if you wait too long, it turns into a gelatinous, semi-solid, hard to swallow substance) within 8 hours, you will be farting like crazy within 12-24 you will take the biggest and most relieving shit of your life. it leaves little mess behind (minimal wiping needed) and the craziest part is, it lubes it self, so even though it is the biggest shit you have ever taken, it does not hurt or require much pushing. and when it's all done.....you feel better.....you feel lighter... you're almost happier to be alive |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 2:51pm - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] wow, that sounds like something I DONT wanna try lol....thanks for the tip tho |
| ______________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 2:54pm - orgymf@work ""] hah....your loss bro. i'm tellin ya, that stuff rules. choking it down sucks. but the resulting shit is a life changing experience |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 2:57pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] That's how I've been feeling after all the shits I've been taking. The tea that has been causing it has Senna leaves. |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 3:01pm - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] I love it how we can talk shit all day |
| ______________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 3:03pm - orgymf@work ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:That's how I've been feeling after all the shits I've been taking. The tea that has been causing it has Senna leaves. senna leaves huh. i'll have to look into that. any product that makes shitting even more enjoyable is amazing |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 3:06pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] This tea has me shitting pieces of dead intestines. Fucking amazing. |
| ______________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 3:09pm - orgymf@work ""] nice... i will look for some immediately |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 3:10pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Whole Foods dude...Smooth Move is the name of it. |
| ______________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 3:15pm - orgymf@work ""] sweet. thanks. i think there is a whole foods in pawtucket. may just go today |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 3:31pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] DO IT! DO IT NAOW! |
| ______________________________ [Dec 17,2008 3:34pm - Mess ""] yes, i've used smooth move before. it will destroy you inards and make them into refried beans mmmm. |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 3:41pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] It's a glorious and uplifting experience. I'm on my 3rd shit of the day. |
| ___________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 3:44pm - narkybark ""] whatever happened to good 'ol Colon Blow? |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 3:49pm - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] Alright now I am getting intrigued. I am going to get some of that stuff when I get out of work. |
| ______________________________ [Dec 17,2008 3:51pm - Mess ""] i sorta tastes like liqrish |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 3:52pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] It's a fucking revolution. |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 3:54pm - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] What happend to the good old days of Ex lax and such products |
| _____________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 3:56pm - Dave_Maggot ""] i'm drinking the smooth move right now |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 3:57pm - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] Your gonna be loving it in a couple of hours |
| _____________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 4:00pm - Dave_Maggot ""] hopefully |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 4:05pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Provided the tea is brewed right, it takes 6-12 hours to kick in. |
| __________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 8:25pm - niccolai ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:So I've been drinking this tea that acts as a system flush, and I definitely just showed the bathroom here at work a thing or two about a thing or two. Just so it knows I mean business, I'll be returning around lunch time to lay down the brown once again. Everyone's day is now ruined and I laugh. Oh great. now he's drinking herbal teas. You have now officially taken the last step toward becoming a psuedo-intelectual. |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 17,2008 8:31pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Herbal tea that makes you shit isn't thaaat close to pseudo-intellectual. |
| ______________________________ [Dec 18,2008 7:41am - Yeti ""] yeah no negative words can be spoken against something that cleans out your intestines. |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 18,2008 8:52am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] I did not drink said tea last night since I have job interviews today...but you can expect a full report tomorrow morning of what sort of splendiferous and profligate product is expelled from my innards. |
| _______________________________ [Dec 18,2008 10:35am - Yeti ""] i had the absolute worst farts this morning. i kept having to turn my fan on at work. |
| __________________________________ [Dec 18,2008 6:55pm - niccolai ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:Herbal tea that makes you shit isn't thaaat close to pseudo-intellectual. touche' |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 19,2008 9:07am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] I am on massive shit number 2 of the day. I am empty. The toilet is full. |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 19,2008 9:45am - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] I was waiting for a update, I am glad to hear that you are shitting your brains out again! |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 19,2008 9:50am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Haha, me too! Even though I didn't drink the tea the night before last, I still had a copious amount of waste, but this morning's outcome is unrivaled. |
| _____________________________________________ [Dec 19,2008 9:58am - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] I'm glad to hear that, nothing like a holiday dump! |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 19,2008 10:13am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] The 12 dumps of Christmas. |
| _______________________________ [Dec 19,2008 10:36am - Yeti ""] just wait until after the xmas feast. it'll come out like Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura 2 from the fake rhino. |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 19,2008 10:38am - AnotherMetalDrummer ""] Love that scene!!! |
| ______________________________________ [Dec 19,2008 10:43am - corpus_NLI ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:Haha, me too! Even though I didn't drink the tea the night before last, I still had a copious amount of waste, but this morning's outcome is unrivaled. lol 'outcome.' you could make tom swift blush with that one. |
| ______________________________________________ [Dec 19,2008 10:44am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Hahahaha, I don't gorge myself at all anymore, even on holidays, but I may do it this year in hopes to recreate that scene. |
| _____________________________________ [Mar 14,2012 10:44am - Alx_Casket ""] I've been pooping way more than what I've eaten these past few days. what's up with that? maybe I'm shedding my winter coat :| |