For those of you who care, HORRIFYING CONDIMENTS on MySpace.[views:8835][posts:27]_____________________________________________ [Jan 11,2009 4:42pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] http://www.myspace.com/horrifyingcondiments No music yet, but we'll put up some practice demos soon enough I'm sure...or you could come see us at Bender's Bar in Worcester on January 31st. WOOOO. |
| __________________________________ [Jan 11,2009 4:49pm - archaeon ""] omg sikkkkk fuck you |
| _____________________________________ [Jan 11,2009 5:18pm - ouchdrummer ""] love it |
| _____________________________________________ [Jan 11,2009 5:21pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Anyone who doesn't love it will be forced to love it, but it won't be rape. |
| ________________________________________________ [Jan 11,2009 5:44pm - AfterWorldObliteration ""] boner of the beast. |
| _____________________________________________ [Jan 11,2009 5:49pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] DICKS DICKS DICKS |
| _________________________________ [Jan 11,2009 5:50pm - Martins ""] dicks six six dicks |
| _____________________________________________ [Jan 11,2009 5:51pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Different band, IDIOT. |
| _________________________________ [Jan 11,2009 5:52pm - Martins ""] oh :( |
| _________________________________ [Jan 11,2009 6:01pm - Martins ""] YOU'RE A DIFFERENT BAND, IDIOT! Do I win? |
| _____________________________________________ [Jan 11,2009 6:02pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Yeah that's right, frown. See where that gets you. I'm going to offend you, sensually. |
| _____________________________________________ [Jan 11,2009 6:03pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] You partially win, but you mostly lose. |
| _________________________________ [Jan 11,2009 6:03pm - Martins ""] I'm going to drop my hot and creamy load all over your rippling bod. I'm the dude that carries the Krispy Kreme donut cream. You still have a rippling bod. |
| _____________________________________________ [Jan 11,2009 6:04pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Ok, NOW you win. Congratulations. You are now an official member of Horrifying Condiments. |
| _________________________________ [Jan 11,2009 6:05pm - Martins ""] That's scary. |
| _________________________________ [Jan 11,2009 6:09pm - Martins ""] Scary things you can put in hamburgers. |
| _____________________________________________ [Jan 11,2009 7:20pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Mmmmm. |
| ______________________________________________ [Jan 14,2009 11:26pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] BUMP. Here are some HC lyrics. Show them to your parents. "Asses To Ashes, Nuts To Dust" (additional writing credit to Granny Monster, AKA Salmonella Thrilla) I saw you walking alone on the side of the road Daydreamin’ of your hips screamin’ out my name Oh how I’ve been fantasizin’, romanticizin’ Of straight violatin’, fornicatin’ and creamin’ such a dame I pulled up slow and smooth like a menthol cigarette Your lips said mister, no, but my cock said sister, yes I love you lady, let me feed your little lion with my lust I’ll turn your asshole into ashes and my nuts into dust C’maaawwwwnnn… Asses to ashes, nuts to dust Let’s spread it on thick and do it in the butt Nuts to dust, asses to ashes Let my love lotion soothe ya rashes You wanna be tough, you got it, here’s your chance Got you by the scruff, bitch, take off ya hot pants No use to struggle now that I got you in a flesh muzzle C’mon puddin’ pop, my penis is the last piece to ya poopshoot puzzle I feel it honey, now we’re movin’ and a-groovin’ Moanin’ and groanin’ while people watch us bonin’ Shocked by the size of my cock, you’re drippin’ on the sidewalk I knew you’d come around when I took it to the brown C’maaawwwwwnnn… Dust from nuts, ashes from asses, Go downtown, let me bust it on ya glasses Asses to ashes, nuts to dust Next time baby we can make it a snuff Just for a minute…I could have sworn I saw you and me with a family in my mind… We could record birthday parties over all my porn, Leave my promiscuous ways behind. I clean out my bank account to buy you a ring Get a 2nd job so we can have kids and a home You’re so pretty, when I see you I hear angels sing Nah, you know I don’t give a fuck about a ho You’re gettin’ uneasy as I tear your ass up, Getting gamey, stomach’s queasy, I feel it in my final thrusts Thrown to the side, you’ve had a ride, but bitch I gotta screw UH Don’t want yo numbah cuz bitch, your ass been chewed up -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Level Sleaze Sensual Offender" (additional writing credit to Granny Monster, once again) She gets me going like meat, fresh or rotting. The scent of condiment spills on aisle four. I see a mammoth on wheels; I start stalking. Our rascals pass, I know I’ve got to score. There’s nothing hotter, more enticing, than a chick who knows Her girth alone could cause tremors, and make me quake Her arm jiggles above the cans of Spaghettios That bitch means business, that slut; make no mistake. Girl, I see you on that hovaround...pourin' over the sides like you want this I’m a sensual offender A connoisseur of voluptuousness Be it the pervert in me Nothing looks quite as tasty As the pound cakes found all over this Epitome of obesity. Now she’s feeling up fish Nothing too good for this bitch I wheel up behind her Stroke my geriatric dick Girl, I see you on that hovaround...pourin' over the sides like you want this (the whole goddamn thing, uuuhhhh) I’m a sensual offender A connoisseur of voluptuousness The chase is on, from canned foods to produce. She clogs the aisles just like her arteries I hate to see her go but I love that caboose Oh baby I’d love for you to be a part of me. She seems startled as I push her to the floor Her eyes glassed over, but I know she wants more She’s feelin’ up my sex fruit and my crotch veggies Pullin’ at her diaper, half past an orgasm from the wedgie Goddamn girl I got a grip on you You’re so soft like the guts of tomatoes Greasy rubber skin and tits like smashed grapefruits I’d love to lick mayo from your cankles to your toes Ride away with me into the sunset 5 MPH with the wind blowin’ through our hair You’re the one for me, my trophy catch I just hope you can make it up my stairs --------------------------------------------------- "Dicks Dicks Dicks: The Boner Of The Beast" So this is hell The salty taste and the putrid smell 7 lbs. of malevolent meat, mangling my mouth Plunging over and over, in and out, in and out What the fuck did I do to deserve this? He even makes me gargle songs with his piss Swallow, swallow, swallow your load, forcefully down my throat Scarily, scarily, scarily, scarily, I hope to gulp your cream Dicks! Dicks dicks! The boner of the beast Endless evil loads are sworn to be released Dicks! Dicks dicks! The boner of the beast Satan’s seed is the sauce in this flaming feast My face is fucked with no regret and no remorse This mothafucka is hung like the mothafuckin’ Trojan Horse He doesn’t give a shit, he’s mothafuckin’ Beelzebub He’s just using me as a place to dump his albino baby slugs Dicks! Dicks dicks! The boner of the beast Endless evil loads are sworn to be released Dicks! Dicks dicks! The boner of the beast Satan’s seed is the sauce in this flaming feast I thought I’d seen it all… I thought the worst was over Until I saw, resting above/below his balls, Three more dicks creating a 4 leaf cock clover Cocks! Cocks cocks! The boners of the beast! An eternity of multitudinous MephistophaMEAT. |
| _______________________________________ [Jan 14,2009 11:31pm - the_reverend ""] sell out |
| __________________________________ [Jan 14,2009 11:32pm - RustyPS ""] I just peed on my bare feet |
| ______________________________________________ [Jan 14,2009 11:33pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Just because I get paid to rock don't mean I'm a sell out. You're just jealous that my spandex are tighter. |
| ______________________________________________ [Jan 14,2009 11:33pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] WELL PUT SOME FUCKING SHOES ON RUSTY! WHAT THE FUCK! |
| __________________________________ [Jan 14,2009 11:34pm - RustyPS ""] FUCK SHOES!! AU NATURALE IS THE ONLY WAY |
| ______________________________________________ [Jan 14,2009 11:36pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] AAAAAAND anotha Juan: "Gynaecomastic Rage" He’s angry, irate and really fucking pissed Because his tits protrude further than his dick. He’s all man except for the funbags on his chest, 100% certified Grade-A man-breasts. Every day is a struggle with such a physical oddity, Even though every night is a little bit more interesting. He’s explored and experienced more than the average man, But regardless of the “perks” he is sick of his “man-mory” glands. Surgeons toil into the depths of night Trying to remove his “flesh headlights.” No more will they weigh him down, No more will girls be jealous now. Weeks passed, months gone, and something was amiss… Back in full force were the tits He paid so much to dismiss. No rationale, no logic or reason, just adrenaline and “testostrogen” Accompanied by violent thoughts led him on a rampage. He killed everyone he could amidst hot flashes Fully consumed by gynaecomastic rage. He settled down eventually to bake and crochet. He’s an excellent housekeeper these days, He watches Martha Stewart now for a better cause Since he’s gone through “manopause.” |
| _______________________________________ [Jan 14,2009 11:37pm - the_reverend ""] whatever, sell out. |
| ______________________________________________ [Jan 14,2009 11:39pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] I'll shit in your cereal. |
| _______________________________________ [Jan 14,2009 11:40pm - the_reverend ""] I'm eating mac n cheese.... it's going to dry out. that is such a sellout move. |
| ______________________________________________ [Jan 14,2009 11:49pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Sellouts don't have poop. |