HORRIFYING CONDIMENTS posts special track in lieu of Black History Month.[views:34493][posts:72]____________________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 3:35pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] As most of you know, February is Black History Month. To commemorate his black culture and heritage, Horrif'diments guitfiddler Eliot "Dr. Huxtable's Illegitimate Funk Child" Bayless has recorded a 9 minute plus epic musical journey. Aptly titled "Eliot's Musical Masturbation Massacre," you will hear this audio gangsta in all of his glory via drums, guitar, bass, scat vocals, your mom jokes, nutrition facts, schizophrenia, late night boredom and racial slurs/comments. This shit is retarded. http://www.myspace.com/horrifyingcondiments |
| _________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 3:37pm - archaeon ""] lol eliot sent that to me earlier. terrible. |
| ________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 3:38pm - reimroc ""] I approve of this thread |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 3:39pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Haha, first time I listened to it I cried. It is terrible, but it's fucking amazing. "Want me to tell you a lie? I didn't fuck your mom last night." |
| _________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 3:46pm - archaeon ""] hearing Eliot's voice low like that got me all wet. in other news send me my shit mark, before i come to plympton and beat yo nigga ass. |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 3:49pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] As soon as I split wood. I'mma send extra stuff with it so I don't have to wait on uploading twice. |
| _________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 3:55pm - archaeon ""] If i dont get stuff by tonight im sending you a picture of my dick |
| ________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 3:57pm - Martins ""] If I don't get a picture of said dick, I will say dick. |
| _________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 5:00pm - brian_dc ""] "ill niggers don't escape" |
| __________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 5:07pm - Lamp nli ""] This rules. MOAR |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 5:36pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Haha, there will be much more where this came from. Including real songs, whenever we fucking feel like it. |
| __________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 5:39pm - Lamp nli ""] The promise in your Myspace is making me want to go to a Horrifying Condiments show so bad, just to bring my guitar and slide and make super distorted ugliness. |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 5:42pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] You'll have your chance eventually as soon as I'm back in MA...and provided you'd ever be back in New England. We'll have videos of our real shit posted soon enough so you can see what we're really like. |
| __________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 5:44pm - Lamp nli ""] I think there's a possibility I may be back in New England shortly... |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 5:48pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Sick deal dude; I'll be in Delaware until April 10th, so hopefully shortly after that HC will have some more shows. |
| __________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 5:51pm - Lamp nli ""] I still haven't decided yet. All I know right now is my company can't afford to keep everybody on during February and March and in the meantime I was thinking of going back up and living with my mom until April when I could come back here and take my job back. Whether or not I move back up at all or move back down once I move back up remains to be seen. Too many choices... |
| ___________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 5:51pm - i_am_lazy ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:Haha, first time I listened to it I cried. It is terrible, but it's fucking amazing. "Want me to tell you a lie? I didn't fuck your mom last night." :bow: |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 6:04pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] I guess Horrifying Condiments will just have to go on tour. |
| ____________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 6:05pm - ouchdrummer ""] a couple people said that we should open for GWAR. |
| ________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 6:08pm - W3 nli ""] or you know not |
| __________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 6:18pm - Lamp nli ""] GWARifying Condiments |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 6:43pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] OH SHIT SON |
| _______________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 9:09pm - Blender_Method ""] Blacks rool! lolz |
| __________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 9:14pm - Lamp nli ""] After another listen, I'm much more convinced this is the greatest thing I've ever heard in my life. |
| _____________________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 10:14pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Listen to it about 5 more times. I've listened about a dozen times and I hear new shit every time, haha. The scat vocals are the absolute best. |
| ______________________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 11:17pm - corpulent colloidal ""] easy does it on the self fellatio there chubby cheeks. |
| _____________________________________________ [Feb 3,2009 11:51pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] WAAAAAAAAAH |
| _______________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 7:54am - DestroyYouAlot ""] This needs downloadable. |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 9:38am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] You know, I think you're right Steve. Done and done. |
| _______________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 1:13pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] Shit was running through my head all morning. I think Elliot touched something dark deep inside me. Something dark and SOULFUL. |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 1:19pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] You mean Eliot PUT something dark deep inside you. |
| _______________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 1:21pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] I told you that under doctor/patient privilege, Mark - GET READY FOR A MALPRACTICE SUIT. |
| _______________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 1:22pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] 75 stitches in the O-ring and now this. |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 1:27pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] We both know that malpractice suit means nothing until you put on your latex suit. |
| _______________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 1:33pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] I put on my cape and wizard hat. |
| __________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 1:36pm - narkybark ""] two damage! two damage! |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 1:36pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Haha touche. |
| _______________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 1:38pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] LIGHTNING BOLT |
| __________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 1:38pm - Lamp nli ""] SLEEP SLEEP DEATH |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 1:59pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] VIDEO FROM THE 1/31 SHOW IS UP!!! Here's the first song we did, "Tom Cruise Control." You can find the other 5 videos from there I'm sure. bennyhillifier |
| __________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 2:12pm - dreadkill ""] DestroyYouAlot said:I put on my robe and wizard hat. |
| ______________________________ [Feb 4,2009 2:30pm - Murph ""] hahaha, Pires trumpet sounds so awesome on some of these tracks. |
| __________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 2:37pm - narkybark ""] it really does |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 2:42pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] He brings a lot to the table. An extra condiment, if you will. |
| __________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 2:44pm - dreadkill ""] if i was a horrifying condiment, i'd be horrifying hossradish |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 2:50pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Horseradishfying Condiments. |
| __________________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 2:52pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] this is the most insane thing my ears have ever come across |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 2:56pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] YOU'RE WELCOME. |
| _________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 3:05pm - brian_dc ""] HAHA...Pires is right...you guys made this too good for what it was supposed to be |
| __________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 3:05pm - dreadkill ""] condom mints |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 3:12pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Brian, it's a bittersweet situation. I'm happy the way it's turned out though...and the newer material is even more fucking ridiculous. Also, this show was our 5th band practice. Eat that. |
| __________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 3:12pm - narkybark ""] WHAT WHAT OKAY |
| __________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 3:13pm - narkybark ""] 5th? You're lucky, you had an extra one. |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 3:16pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Haha, shit, I think you're right. I can't think of what I thought the 4th band practice was, so maybe this show was the 4th! |
| __________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 3:18pm - narkybark ""] I just remember two practices and one night of jaw harps, acoustic campfire songs and Muscles. |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 4:07pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] HOT LICKS! |
| ____________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 4:13pm - ouchdrummer ""] muscles still needs his own thread. Honest to goodness, that was the funniest phone call i have ever been a part of. |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 4:14pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] I still need to have Matt email that to me. I feel like setting up a MySpace account just for all the random shit we have recorded aside from the music. |
| ____________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 4:17pm - ouchdrummer ""] i hope when you start being full-time slamtrack that you don't have QUITE so much free time. |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 4:21pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] The world will not be safe. |
| __________________________________ [Feb 4,2009 4:24pm - Lamp nli ""] This band could be the best thing to happen to shows in a long fucking time, hahaha. |
| _______________________________________ [Feb 5,2009 8:12am - DestroyYouAlot ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:You know, I think you're right Steve. Done and done. Wait - how? Am I missing something that's not a chromosone? |
| ____________________________________________ [Feb 5,2009 9:37am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Lamp, thank you! That's what we're going for. Steve, click the dot where it says "Buy." |
| ________________________________________ [Feb 5,2009 11:51am - DestroyYouAlot ""] STUPID MYSPACE IS STUPID |
| _____________________________________________ [Feb 5,2009 12:10pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Sure, blame your problems on the internet. |
| ____________________________________ [Feb 19,2009 9:05am - nerdsahoy ""] the internet is the source any and all |
| ________________________________________ [Feb 19,2009 9:33am - DestroyYouAlot ""] MAKE SENSE |
| ________________________________ [Feb 19,2009 10:21am - wut? ""] DestroyYouAlot said:MAKE SENSE wut? |
| ______________________________________________ [Feb 19,2009 11:21am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] MAKE DOLLAHS |
| ___________________________________________ [Feb 19,2009 12:10pm - MillenialKingdom ""] THIS IS MY FAVO-RITE BAND EVAR. Mark, give me a tattoo of this band for my asscheek. Much love, brosif. |
| ______________________________________________ [Feb 19,2009 12:20pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Oh I'll tattoo your ass cheek all right. |
| _____________________________________ [Feb 19,2009 1:22pm - ouchdrummer ""] but millenial, i worship satan... and i drum for this band. |
| __________________________________________ [Feb 19,2009 2:33pm - MillenialKingdom ""] Eat a banana cream pie and shut the fuck up, Momma's boy. |