new joke thread[views:8492][posts:29]___________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 10:00am - succubus ""] >> For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His >> father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house >> is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can >> afford it." The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the >> front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" >> Little Joseph told him; "I was walking past your room last night and >> heard you telling mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you >> to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I' >> m staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage and no bike! |
| ___________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 10:16am - succubus ""] Rejection A woman was helping her husband set up his computer and, at the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he could remember easily and would use each time he had to log on. The husband was a bit bored by the process and, feeling in a rather amorous mood, figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wi fe's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he paused for effect, then letter by letter, with his wife watching over his shoulder, he keyed in ... P E N I S His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied: PASSWORD REJECTED ... NOT LONG ENOUGH |
| _______________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 10:20am - orgymf@work ""] why do women have 3 more brain cells than a cow? so they don't shit on the kitchen floor while doing the dishes! why should you never buy your woman a watch? there is a clock on the stove what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice! what do you call an abstainant woman? useless! what do you call the useless skin surrounding the vagina? the woman! wanna hear a funny joke? women's rights! i know, you've all probably heard em all before, i just think they are classics. |
| ____________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 10:23am - dreadkill ""] the cow one is new to me, and hilarious to boot. |
| _________________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 10:23am - DestroyYouAlot ""] TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE |
| _______________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 10:23am - orgymf@work ""] cool. glad at least one person got to enjoy a new one! |
| _______________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 10:24am - orgymf@work ""] DestroyYouAlot said:TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE OHHHHH SHIT SUCKA! NOW HE GOIN OL SCHOOL! |
| _________________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 10:24am - DestroyYouAlot ""] SHIT I TOLD IT WRONG |
| _______________________________ [Feb 13,2009 10:28am - Yeti ""] why don't Jewish men eat pussy? too close to the gas chamber. |
| _______________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 10:29am - orgymf@work ""] hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| ___________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 10:46am - brian_dc ""] Yeti said:why don't Jewish men eat pussy? too close to the gas chamber. lol |
| _________________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 10:53am - DestroyYouAlot ""] Wow. That's a new one on me. |
| ________________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 10:55am - boblovesmusic ""] What's brown and sticky? A stick! |
| _____________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 10:59am - arilliusbm ""] Q:What do you call a dead nigga in a field? A:Broken Farm Equipment Q:Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans in Star Trek? A:They don't have jobs in the future, either. Q:What's the difference between DYA and a Michael Jordan? A:Jordan actually has hair Q:What's the difference between snow-tires and black people? A:Black people sing when you put chains on them. Q:What happened to the fly on the toilet seat? A:It got pissed off. Q:What's the difference between the New England Metal Scene and the rest of the country's? A:Talent |
| _____________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 11:00am - arilliusbm ""] err, that last one is supposed to be switched around! |
| ___________________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 11:04am - largefreakatzero ""] What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? At least acne waits until you are 14 to come all over your face. |
| _________________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 11:05am - DestroyYouAlot ""] WHOA BUDDY |
| _______________________________ [Feb 13,2009 1:27pm - 8889 ""] how do you blindfold an asian. dental floss. yo momma is so fat, she sat on a quarter and george washingtons boogers squeezed out ohhhhh |
| ______________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 2:40pm - Nobody_Cares ""] Did you hear about the black jew? They made him sit at the back of the oven. Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink. (Possibly all time fave) How can you tell when a girl gets off? Who cares. |
| _________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 2:47pm - c.DeAD ""] Nobody_Cares said: Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink. (Possibly all time fave) How can you tell when a girl gets off? Who cares. Really, those are just fantastic. Whats better than winning the special olympics? Not being retarded. What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrDRR |
| ______________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 3:15pm - orgymf@work ""] Nobody_Cares said:Did you hear about the black jew? They made him sit at the back of the oven. Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink. (Possibly all time fave) How can you tell when a girl gets off? Who cares. AMAZING |
| _______________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 7:31pm - Rottingman88 ""] whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? a pizza never screams when you throw it into the oven. |
| ___________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 10:44pm - madukes ""] what do you call a broad with two brain cells pregnant |
| ___________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 10:44pm - madukes ""] whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? canoes tip. |
| __________________________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 10:56pm - The Great Spaldino NLI ""] what does a woman do when she gets back from the battered wives clinic? the dishes, if she knows whats good for her. whats strong enough for a man but made for a woman? the back of my hand. whats black and blue and hates sex? a rape victim. why do women give birth? because it hurts and they deserve it. how do you make an 8 year old cry twice? wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear. |
| _______________________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 11:11pm - Stabby_McGunnakillya ""] The%20Great%20Spaldino%20NLI said:what does a woman do when she gets back from the battered wives clinic? the dishes, if she knows whats good for her. whats strong enough for a man but made for a woman? the back of my hand. whats black and blue and hates sex? a rape victim. why do women give birth? because it hurts and they deserve it. how do you make an 8 year old cry twice? wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear. If there were a hell I'd be there already cuz I LOL at that last joke everytime I hear it. |
| _________________________________ [Feb 13,2009 11:42pm - Hater ""] Whats the best part about fucking a 12 year old in the shower? When you slick their hair back, they look 9. Whats the best part about fucking twenty-two year olds? Theres twenty of them. |
| _________________________________________ [Feb 14,2009 6:46pm - orgymaggotfeast ""] The%20Great%20Spaldino%20NLI said: whats strong enough for a man but made for a woman? the back of my hand. why do women give birth? because it hurts and they deserve it. how have i never heard these before!?!?!?!?! my two new faves! |
| ________________________________ [Feb 14,2009 9:27pm - Ryan_M ""] Whats the difference between a pizza and a black guy? A pizza can feed a family of four. Whats long, black and smelly? The unemployment line. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no dick? Still no fucking idea. |
| _______________________________ [Feb 14,2009 10:26pm - poop ""] i take my whiskey like i take my women, 6 years old and full of coke why is stevie wonder always smiling? he doesnt know he's black |