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The "I just came really close to shitting my pants at work" thread...

[views:7838][posts:22]
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[Apr 17,2009 4:25pm - The_Rooster ""]
Title says it all.

There I was, standing at the urinal finishing off a nice "pee", when a bit of flatulence brewed up...

Well... apparently there was more to it than just a little gas.

Fortunately, it didn't breach the cheeks, and I was able to get to the bowl before I ruined my drawers (and my day).


"Ummm, I need to go home early, because, ummm... well, I shit my pants."

Not something you want to tell your boss.
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[Apr 17,2009 4:32pm - Chuck Schuldiner‘s Butt  ""]
The smell of a masculine dump perks me up, because I know there's a randy cock nearby looking for random faggot ass, or maybe sentimental rockstar death metal?

Call me.
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[Apr 17,2009 6:36pm - douchebag_patrol ""]
[img]
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[Apr 17,2009 7:02pm - Chuck Schuldiner‘s Butt  ""]
A fresh shart, well marbled with semen, is arousing...
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[Jun 28,2011 10:45am - Yeti ""]
almost faced a Fukushima style disaster. i found what i thought was a granola bar at my house, so i ate it. turns out it was a fiber bar. this has been an active morning. despite the firehole, i haven't felt this cleansed in a long time.
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[Jun 28,2011 10:49am - SLAAAAG NLI  ""]
I just downed two fiber bars myself. Hoping/bracing for total bowel purity.
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[Jun 28,2011 10:49am - FuckIsMySignature ""]
i sharted on the golf course the other day. halfway through WALKING 9 holes. ugh.
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[Jun 28,2011 10:50am - FuckIsMySignature ""]

Yeti said:almost faced a Fukushima style disaster. i found what i thought was a granola bar at my house, so i ate it. turns out it was a fiber bar. this has been an active morning. despite the firehole, i haven't felt this cleansed in a long time.


FIBER FART BART FTW.
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[Jun 28,2011 10:56am - Mark R  ""]
I have two Fiber Plus bars here. JUST IN CASE.
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[Jun 28,2011 11:33am - the_reverend ""]
I went to this gym this morning. Good news, I'm that much hotter. Bad news, I guess going to the gym in the AM angers my bowels to waterfall status.
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[Jun 28,2011 11:33am - the_reverend ""]
[img]
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[Jun 28,2011 11:59am - SLAAAAG  ""]
honestly, that was brutal. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to contain the forces in my bowels as I walked briskly to the toilet.
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[Jun 28,2011 1:15pm - Yeti ""]
FART BART
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[Jun 28,2011 1:22pm - SLAAAAG  ""]
NEVER EAT TWO BARS AT A TIME
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[Jun 28,2011 3:23pm - Yeti ""]
i sat down to shit and ended up farting for 2 minutes straight.
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[Jun 28,2011 5:00pm - largefreakatzero ""]
Self-leveling mud, or gtfo.
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[Jun 28,2011 5:20pm - Lamp ""]

Yeti said:almost faced a Fukushima style disaster. i found what i thought was a granola bar at my house, so i ate it. turns out it was a fiber bar. this has been an active morning. despite the firehole, i haven't felt this cleansed in a long time.


I had bought some fiber a while back and was taking it at least twice a day like the instructions said to on the jar. It was the kind you mix in a glass of water and drink. The first day this started working, I took four gigantic shits in the span of probably 3 hours. It was the best I've ever felt.
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[Jun 28,2011 5:22pm - largefreakatzero ""]
The pill-form is easier. I take it every night and blast the bowl 1st thing in the morning. Great times.
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[Jun 28,2011 5:24pm - Lamp ""]
I was trying to take a multivitamin earlier this year and almost choked on it, now I seem to have some phobia of taking pills.
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[Jun 28,2011 5:26pm - Yeti ""]
the gas is overwhelming, but odor free. i think i'm going to start eating these more often, i feel awesome.
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[Jun 28,2011 5:51pm - SLAAAAGG NLI  ""]
Agreed. If bowels ain't happy, ain't nooooobody happy.
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[Oct 18,2013 2:24pm - grilled_dickcheese_sandwich ""]
Had a close call and did the tin soldier routine all the way to the bathroom, all casual so no one suspects anything.
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[Oct 18,2013 2:41pm - grilled_dickcheese_sandwich ""]
I just earned a gold medal in the diarrhea olympics.


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