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Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy

[views:1800][posts:8]
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[Jun 20,2004 9:43pm - Dissector ""]
#38: If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong though. It's Hambone.

#32: I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to that old board of his. Then he'd spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he'd yell out, "Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!" We all thought he was crazy. But then, we had some growing up to do.

#46: Even though he was an enemy of mine, I had to admit that what he had accomplished was a brilliant piece of strategy. First, he punched me, then he kicked me, then he punched me again.

#7: To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.

#40: Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.

#1: It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

#29: When the age of the Vikings came to a close, they must have sensed it. Probably, they gathered together one evening, slapped each other on the back and said, "Hey, good job."

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There are a ton more. That's some funny shit though.
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[Jun 20,2004 11:56pm - tbone_r ""]
i love jack handy
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[Jun 21,2004 9:50am - Dissector ""]
Yeah, he's cool.
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[Jun 21,2004 11:01am - retzam ""]
hahaha, the best of those are #38, #32, and #7.
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[Jun 21,2004 11:35am - Dissector ""]
7 and 29 are my favorites.
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[Jun 21,2004 12:12pm - assuck ""]
i have the random deep thought generator in my aim profile. it makes for good entertainment when theres nothing else to do
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[Jun 21,2004 1:26pm - Dissector ""]
HA, I have that too. Thats where I got all these from.
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[Jun 15,2005 6:55pm - anonymous  ""]
hey where can you get that??
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[Jun 15,2005 6:55pm - anonymous  ""]
wow, it's been a year since anyone replied. maybe you can't tell me...


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