god do i hate shitting at work[views:53533][posts:182]_______________________________________ [Aug 21,2007 10:21am - the_reverend ""] i go to shit and im in line for the big stall, empty bathroom. then the firealarm goes off. over and over for a few seconds. i retreat to my cube. and email goes out about them testing the sprinlers. so i go back to the bathroom. ok, the big stall is taken, but the 2 small stalls arent. i take the end stall and sit down. immediately some dude busts in and sits down beside me. ruining what would have been an epic shit. |
| ___________________________________ [Aug 21,2007 10:26am - sinistas ""] I hate hate hate hate workplace shitting. |
| _______________________________ [Aug 21,2007 10:32am - Yeti ""] i am with you both, shitting is a very personal thing. i'll never get used to shitting when someone is around, regardless of the partitions between. |
| _________________________________________ [Aug 21,2007 10:37am - DestroyYouAlot ""] I don't give a fuck. When it comes to making poops, I'm the alpha male, always. I enforce strict bathroom dominance over all lesser shitters. I have engaged in many a gnarly crap-off, and emerged the victor every time. |
| ______________________________ [Aug 21,2007 10:39am - mOe ""] eh, I just make sure that I got to the single person bathroom |
| _________________________________________ [Aug 21,2007 10:40am - DestroyYouAlot ""] As a matter of fact, I'll be right back. |
| _______________________________________ [Aug 21,2007 10:40am - the_reverend ""] there aren't any here. |
| _________________________________________ [Aug 21,2007 10:50am - DestroyYouAlot ""] Haha! Just ran off another pretender to the throne. Literally within ten seconds of the first note of my rectal symphony, he was pants up, hands washed and out of there. Victory! I like to make sure my ID badge is showing under the partition, so they know who shamed them. |
| _______________________________ [Aug 21,2007 10:54am - Mess ""] yar it sucks bad... especially when you have a hot barely legal broad sitting in the cube closest to the shitter |
| _________________________________________ [Aug 21,2007 10:58am - DestroyYouAlot ""] Haha... At brad weymouth and my former place of employment, there were two bathrooms. If the warehouse shitter was occupied, the remaining choice was smack dab in the middle of the sales office. It had one of those ultra-thin panel doors that just acts like a sounding board for any noise you make while ripping one out, and there were like three people with desks literally five feet away from the door. I definitely ruined a few lunches, there. |
| ___________________________________ [Aug 21,2007 11:11am - succubus ""] hahah well just go an sit and wait until whoever leaves...then release... |
| _______________________________________ [Aug 21,2007 11:12am - the_reverend ""] unless I'm going to play tetris, I only go when it's the last minute. |
| _______________________________ [Aug 21,2007 11:14am - Mess ""] or you can train your asshole to spray at a time that best suites you? |
| _____________________________________________________ [Aug 21,2007 11:54am - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""] Mess said:yar it sucks bad... especially when you have a hot barely legal broad sitting in the cube closest to the shitter Legal? What the fuck do you want with her then? |
| __________________________________________ [Aug 21,2007 12:03pm - metal_church101 ""] Mark your territory in the shitter with pride. If you have a guy next to you trying to out do you, step it up dueling banjo style like in the Family Guy when Peter Griffin took on Michael Moore. |
| _____________________________________ [Aug 21,2007 12:53pm - immortal13 ""] I can't shit in a public bathroom if someone else is in there. A good shit is a private shit, cuz then you can take all the time and be as loud as you need. "You know that feeling when you take a huge dump...? Awesome." |
| ___________________________________________ [Aug 21,2007 1:06pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] i'll shit anywhere. no worries. |
| ________________________________ [Aug 21,2007 2:20pm - tylerl ""] i love shitting at work, on the clock getting paid to shit! |
| _________________________________________ [Aug 21,2007 5:53pm - trampletheweak ""] i love shitting in general |
| ______________________________________________ [Aug 21,2007 10:42pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] I love shitting anywhere that isn't my house, provided that the stall door actually closes and there is toilet paper. I don't like terrorizing my own house and ravaging the toilet paper supply when I could ruin someone else's commode and steal their 2-ply. I especially love the day that I gave a movie theatre bathroom the most grueling death penalty ever manifested by a human being, and ruined whoever's day that walked in after I punished the porcelain. |
| ___________________________________ [Aug 21,2007 10:46pm - Aegathis ""] Mess said:or you can train your asshole to spray at a time that best suites you? "Bad Asshole! Bad!" |
| ___________________________________________ [Aug 21,2007 11:33pm - DaveFromTheGrave ""] I once took a shit that stank so bad, some dude left the building, got in his car, and drove away. We didn't see him again for 3 days. it's great if you want privacy, nobody will come near when you drop turds that burn through the porcelain. |
| _________________________________ [Aug 22,2007 12:38am - NIGGER ""] WORK? HAHAHA |
| _________________________________ [Aug 22,2007 9:11am - soloman ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:I love shitting anywhere that isn't my house, provided that the stall door actually closes and there is toilet paper. I don't like terrorizing my own house and ravaging the toilet paper supply when I could ruin someone else's commode and steal their 2-ply. I especially love the day that I gave a movie theatre bathroom the most grueling death penalty ever manifested by a human being, and ruined whoever's day that walked in after I punished the porcelain. Haha. When I was in college, it was of unfortunate circumstance that the bathroom stalls in the main library all had their doors ripped out. Why was it like this? No one knew. But during study binges, there were times when I got the some serious movement comin along... so yeah I've been known to shit in a completely open stall. People would walk in, I would tap the floor, they would know to stay back. |
| _________________________________________ [Aug 23,2007 10:52am - DestroyYouAlot ""] Last night's Taco Bell + this morning's large iced coffee = [img] It was a genuine three-flusher, I shit you not. (SHIT, LOL!) |
| _________________________________ [Aug 23,2007 11:34am - tylerl ""] coffee ALWAYS makes me shit |
| ___________________________________________ [Aug 23,2007 11:38am - thegreatspaldino ""] DestroyYouAlot said:Last night's Taco Bell + this morning's large iced coffee = [img] It was a genuine three-flusher, I shit you not. (SHIT, LOL!) ohhhhhhhhhh man i was genuinely disgusted by this pic... then i read your description and almost hurled. |
| __________________________________________ [Aug 23,2007 12:03pm - metal_church101 ""] I had to take my ritual shit after drinking 2 cups of coffee today. So I am in the stall and a guy sits in the stall yesterday. I am trying to keep it quiet and then he starts ripping away. Of course I had to show him who was boss and let loose. Needless to say, I won. |
| _________________________________________ [Aug 23,2007 12:10pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] This man showed me the way. He is the patron saint of toilet bowl pwnage: [img] |
| _______________________________________ [Sep 10,2007 11:16am - the_reverend ""] sucks, today, the big stall is flooded. I tried to flush it a bunch, but it did nothing. now, I'm once again shitting beside someone trying not to do the sentator craig thing and spread my legs too far. unfortunately for the person beside me, everything I ate yesterday contained piles and piles of beans. |
| ___________________________________________ [Sep 10,2007 12:03pm - largefreakatzero ""] I have the shits bad today. I ate sushi last night and I don't think it agreed. I blasted once last night and have continued to pollute a toilet hourly. Hopefully I won't shit my pants while lifting today. |
| _____________________________________________ [Sep 10,2007 3:21pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] I've been shitting a lot more than I usually do the past few days, mostly because I'm finally attaching myself to a consistent diet with no Taco Bell and almost no soda. I shit a huge "X" the other day. It clogged a Home Depot toilet, and I pride myself on that. |
| ________________________________ [Sep 10,2007 3:40pm - Ryan_M ""] Yeti said:shitting is a very personal thing. i'll never get used to shitting when someone is around, regardless of the partitions between. I'm the same way - It's not so much that I'm worried about my shit smelling bad, its mostly that I enjoy taking a good shit in private, and if someone else is in the next stall, I can't enjoy my time alone, instead I have to listen to their ass ripping, water splashing and huffing and puffing like they just ran 10 miles. I'm the same way pissing as well, I feel like I can't go if I'm at a urinal and some dude takes the one right next to me. I value my personal space and privacy and its just ruined by having some dork standing right beside me while I'm taking a leak. |
| ________________________________________ [Sep 10,2007 3:48pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] Personally, I'm proud of my elephantine emissions. |
| _____________________________________________ [Sep 10,2007 3:58pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] DestroyYouAlot said:Personally, I'm proud of my elephantine emissions. You'd get along with my boss quite well. He came to where I was working one day ONLY to show me a picture of a huge shit he took. To get the full effect, he put a paperclip in the toilet so I could tell just how big the shit was in comparison to the paperclip. |
| _________________________________________ [Sep 10,2007 5:49pm - metal_church101 ""] DestroyYouAlot said:This man showed me the way. He is the patron saint of toilet bowl pwnage: [img] That's awsome. :NEWHORNS: |
| _______________________________________ [Oct 25,2007 10:45am - the_reverend ""] wow.. it looks lik someone put hersey's syrup all around the bowl. |
| _______________________________ [Oct 25,2007 10:48am - Yeti ""] regularity is probably the best thing in life. "you know Mrs. Torrance, you've gotta keep regula, if you wanna be happy" |
| _________________________________________ [Oct 25,2007 12:22pm - brad weymouth ""] Haha, destroy youalot, that bathroom was always smelling of ass. You guys, or should I say, FAGS, who can't shit when there are others present should seriously consider castration. |
| _______________________________________ [Nov 28,2007 11:34am - the_reverend ""] wow.. it just took me 4 flushes to get the guy before me's TP huge clump down. tom hanks could have hung on to that shit and floated back to america in castaway |
| _________________________________________ [Nov 28,2007 11:45am - DestroyYouAlot ""] WILSOOOOOON!!! |
| __________________________________________ [Nov 28,2007 11:46am - metal_church101 ""] I had another round of dualing banjos with the guy in the stall next to me. Drinking a lot of coffee is always great ammunition. |
| _______________________________ [Nov 28,2007 12:58pm - Yeti ""] the_reverend said:wow.. it just took me 4 flushes to get the guy before me's TP huge clump down. tom hanks could have hung on to that shit and floated back to america in castaway i almost just spit everything i was eating all over my computer hahahaha. i was shitting today and thinking about how there is no silence more deafening than the men's room. |
| _______________________________ [Nov 28,2007 1:07pm - aril ""] hey steve, how come i'm the only one that farts at band practice then? I demand a fart-off.. |
| ________________________________________ [Nov 28,2007 1:22pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] I just blame them on you; that way everybody wins. |
| ________________________________________ [Nov 28,2007 1:47pm - brad weymouth ""] One banana, two cups of Good Morning America and I'm good to go....poop that is. I was at a church the other day and stunk up that nuns bathroom something fierce...the good lord wants the cubs to win!! |
| ________________________________ [Nov 28,2007 7:37pm - NIGGER ""] I TOOK A GIANT SHIT AT THE WELFARE OFFICE AFTERWARDS, I QUALIFIED FOR MEDICAL TAKING THE MAN'S MONEY AND LIVING LARGE, THIS NIGGA IS BLACK POWER! |
| __________________________________ [Nov 28,2007 9:14pm - scumfuck ""] last time i took a shit at work someone came in and grabed my ankles mid-shit and tried to pull me off the can and out of the stall, not pleasant. |
| ________________________________ [Nov 28,2007 9:30pm - NIGGER ""] FERMENT THAT SHIT MAKE JENKEM BLACK POWER! |
| __________________________________________ [Nov 28,2007 9:35pm - DaveFromTheGrave ""] scumfuck said:last time i took a shit at work someone came in and grabed my ankles mid-shit and tried to pull me off the can and out of the stall, not pleasant. where do you work? |