Regrettable bangs?[views:63613][posts:338]____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:05pm - RichHorror ""] Girls/guys you've banged and regretted it. Due to mental illness or physical deformities on their part. I have one and it's a pretty funny story, but share yours first so that the healing may begin. |
| ___________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:06pm - dreadkill ""] i've banged two, maybe three regrettable girls, but i do not regret any of my sexual encounters with rich horror's couch. |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:16pm - RichHorror ""] I've had two. One was some married broad from New Hampshire. Kinda lumpy with a too-freckle filled face. I honestly fucked her just because she was married and hoped it would get back to her husband and that her husband would beat her. The second was some girl I met off myspace. She had no pictures up, which should've been a HUGE red flag but I was retarded. I picked her up and almost sped away when I saw how tubby she was. She had a weird face too. So, we get to my house and at the time the only TV was in the bedroom. I lay on the bed and she sits there as Dodgeball plays... and I realize there's no way in fuck I want to spend the duration of an entire movie with this fucking hosebag. So I start playing pocket pool, and when I'm halfway to cumming I hop on her. I think I got two thrusts total before I pulled out and blew a load all over her stupid weird-looking face. I get up, wipe the cum off my dick with a hand towel and throw it at her head so she can clean up. I then put my pants back on and tell her I had to work early in the morning and should get her back home. This was funny because she knew I didn't have a job. So I drive her home, and as I pull in front of her house my bassist calls me on my cell. So I answer it and exclaim 'Guess what? I just nailed some fat bitch off of MySpace!' as she was getting out of my car. Then I flipped her off and drove away. Oh yeah, and as we were leaving my house I looked at a clock. She was in my house a grand total of eleven minutes. Awesome. |
| _______________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:16pm - kelly ""] drinking + Quensryche don't mix! |
| ___________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:17pm - dreadkill ""] RichHorror said:I've had two. One was some married broad from New Hampshire. Kinda lumpy with a too-freckle filled face. I honestly fucked her just because she was married and hoped it would get back to her husband and that her husband would beat her. The second was some girl I met off myspace. She had no pictures up, which should've been a HUGE red flag but I was retarded. I picked her up and almost sped away when I saw how tubby she was. She had a weird face too. So, we get to my house and at the time the only TV was in the bedroom. I lay on the bed and she sits there as Dodgeball plays... and I realize there's no way in fuck I want to spend the duration of an entire movie with this fucking hosebag. So I start playing pocket pool, and when I'm halfway to cumming I hop on her. I think I got two thrusts total before I pulled out and blew a load all over her stupid weird-looking face. I get up, wipe the cum off my dick with a hand towel and throw it at her head so she can clean up. I then put my pants back on and tell her I had to work early in the morning and should get her back home. This was funny because she knew I didn't have a job. So I drive her home, and as I pull in front of her house my bassist calls me on my cell. So I answer it and exclaim 'Guess what? I just nailed some fat bitch off of MySpace!' as she was getting out of my car. Then I flipped her off and drove away. Oh yeah, and as we were leaving my house I looked at a clock. She was in my house a grand total of eleven minutes. Awesome. this story gets better every time i hear it |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:17pm - RichHorror ""] kelly said:drinking + Quensryche don't mix! Elaborate. |
| ___________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:18pm - dreadkill ""] kelly is talking about my regrettable deeds |
| ___________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:18pm - dreadkill ""] i can never listen to queensryche again |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:19pm - RichHorror ""] I think you should just tell the story. |
| ___________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:20pm - dreadkill ""] i was blackout drunk, so i remember very little. i just want to forget it happened. |
| ________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:21pm - Kevord ""] Tell the story Ken. Myspace bangs are the best by the way. |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:21pm - RichHorror ""] In the past two weeks Ken banged a slut and the Jabberwocky. |
| ___________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:22pm - dreadkill ""] i've never had a myspace bang |
| ________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:23pm - Kevord ""] dreadkill said:i've never had a myspace bang You're probably the only one. It's slut central. |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:26pm - RichHorror ""] You just weren't single for long enough. |
| ___________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:26pm - dreadkill ""] i could have had an internet bang one time, but the girl was ugly and she killed a dog in front of me. |
| ___________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:27pm - dreadkill ""] RichHorror said:You just weren't single for long enough. true |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:27pm - RichHorror ""] This is a tale that begs to be told. |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:28pm - RichHorror ""] I predict this thread will have the largest gap of views versus actual posts ever. |
| ________________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:28pm - KillerKadoogan ""] [img] |
| ______________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:29pm - the_reverend ""] dreadkill said:i've banged two, maybe three regrettable girls, but i do not regret any of my sexual encounters with rich horror's mouth. A place I fear many men have parked in. |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:30pm - RichHorror ""] You're just jealous. |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:30pm - RichHorror ""] KillerKadoogan said:[img] You have failed us all. |
| ________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:30pm - Kevord ""] dreadkill said:i could have had an internet bang one time, but the girl was ugly and she killed a dog in front of me. Is she still single? |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:33pm - RichHorror ""] That's a scenario 'Blind Date' has yet to cover. |
| _______________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:41pm - kelly ""] i'm gonna laugh every time i go there. i think she tried to dry hump me that night too. |
| ________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:42pm - Kevord ""] Ken likes them easy and gross as long as they don't kill animals. |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:49pm - RichHorror ""] kelly said:i'm gonna laugh every time i go there. i think she tried to dry hump me that night too. You should've been a true friend to Ken and taken one for the team. |
| _______________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:52pm - kelly ""] RichHorror said:kelly said:i'm gonna laugh every time i go there. i think she tried to dry hump me that night too. You should've been a true friend to Ken and taken one for the team. not even with Ken's dick and you pushing |
| _____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 7:53pm - xanonymousx ""] rich horror... the king of the internet. |
| ______________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 8:00pm - the_reverend ""] rich has a dick now? I thought it was only an edong. |
| __________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 8:01pm - succubus ""] i thought this was going to be about cutting bangs after growing out your hair and then regretting it |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 8:05pm - RichHorror ""] the_reverend said:rich has a dick now? I thought it was only an edong. We've had enough conversations at Spike's about the girls I knocked up. You know better. |
| _______________________________ [Jan 22,2007 8:05pm - kelly ""] succubus said:i thought this was going to be about cutting bangs after growing out your hair and then regretting it nothing like wearing headbands for a couple of months |
| __________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 8:15pm - succubus ""] hahaha |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 8:47pm - RichHorror ""] xanonymousx said:rich horror... the king of the internet. I do what I can. |
| ______________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 9:11pm - the_reverend ""] you am what you am. |
| _____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 9:27pm - Beorht-Dana ""] My only bang related regret is being too drunk to rememeber much of anything about my last one. |
| ______________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 9:39pm - hunterhunter ""] i banged this crusty chick with dreads once what can i say i got really fucking drunk and her friend was sleeping with my housemate at the time the worst was that she tried to make something from it and made me feel bad like i disrespected all women she is due to have a child next month, bt not mine since it was over 9 mnths ago this happened |
| _______________________________ [Jan 22,2007 9:41pm - yummy ""] I have never regretted banging any girl. |
| _________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 10:06pm - xmikex ""] Long story short... it turned out to be Barbara Bush. Worst Craigslist ad ever. |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 10:21pm - dreadkill ""] women are ruining this thread by talking about hairstyles. |
| _________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 10:25pm - Kevord ""] Women are ruining life by breathing. |
| ______________________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 10:36pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] luckily i don't have any regrettable bangs, but i do have a terrifying tale that still creeps me out. i befriended a girl on friendster...yeah, old school, haha...she had no pictures, so i used my head and saw the red flag waving, unlike our favorite internet celebrity, rich horror. after talking to her for a while i finally saw a few pictures of her face, so i knew she was real, but had to be a beast since she didn't have anything but her face in pictures. i made it clear that i wanted no carnal relationship with this girl, but she was cool so we ended up hanging out since i was in her neck of the woods. she lived in springfield, which is well over two hours from my house so she let me sleep in her roommate's bed since she wasn't there. i woke up at about 6 am to an odd feeling in my pants-area. this girl fucking pulled my pants down and started jerking me off IN MY SLEEP!!! and keep in mind, she was completely sober so there was no excuse. i was creeped out as fuck, but i blew a load all over her pants, arm, and roommate's bed anyway. i went to the bathroom to clean myself up, then went back to bed frightened for a few hours. when i woke up she bought me a huge breakfast topped off with a mr. pibb and i got the fuck out. i think maybe 3 words were shared between the two of us between the "incident" and when i left. |
| ___________________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 10:37pm - thegreatspaldino ""] HAHA. owned. |
| _____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 10:39pm - Murph nli ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:luckily i don't have any regrettable bangs, but i do have a terrifying tale that still creeps me out. i befriended a girl on friendster...yeah, old school, haha...she had no pictures, so i used my head and saw the red flag waving, unlike our favorite internet celebrity, rich horror. after talking to her for a while i finally saw a few pictures of her face, so i knew she was real, but had to be a beast since she didn't have anything but her face in pictures. i made it clear that i wanted no carnal relationship with this girl, but she was cool so we ended up hanging out since i was in her neck of the woods. she lived in springfield, which is well over two hours from my house so she let me sleep in her roommate's bed since she wasn't there. i woke up at about 6 am to an odd feeling in my pants-area. this girl fucking pulled my pants down and started jerking me off IN MY SLEEP!!! and keep in mind, she was completely sober so there was no excuse. i was creeped out as fuck, but i blew a load all over her pants, arm, and roommate's bed anyway. i went to the bathroom to clean myself up, then went back to bed frightened for a few hours. when i woke up she bought me a huge breakfast topped off with a mr. pibb and i got the fuck out. i think maybe 3 words were shared between the two of us between the "incident" and when i left. Jeez, you jerk off a buddy in his sleep to help the week go by, and he throws it in your face on the internet. Next time it'll be sandpaper hands pal. No moisturizer for you. |
| _____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 10:40pm - RichHorror ""] haha, I knew this thread was one of my greatest inventions ever. As a result I now know that Mark Richards is a rape victim. |
| _______________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 10:40pm - Joshtruction ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:luckily i don't have any regrettable bangs, but i do have a terrifying tale that still creeps me out. i befriended a girl on friendster...yeah, old school, haha...she had no pictures, so i used my head and saw the red flag waving, unlike our favorite internet celebrity, rich horror. after talking to her for a while i finally saw a few pictures of her face, so i knew she was real, but had to be a beast since she didn't have anything but her face in pictures. i made it clear that i wanted no carnal relationship with this girl, but she was cool so we ended up hanging out since i was in her neck of the woods. she lived in springfield, which is well over two hours from my house so she let me sleep in her roommate's bed since she wasn't there. i woke up at about 6 am to an odd feeling in my pants-area. this girl fucking pulled my pants down and started jerking me off IN MY SLEEP!!! and keep in mind, she was completely sober so there was no excuse. i was creeped out as fuck, but i blew a load all over her pants, arm, and roommate's bed anyway. i went to the bathroom to clean myself up, then went back to bed frightened for a few hours. when i woke up she bought me a huge breakfast topped off with a mr. pibb and i got the fuck out. i think maybe 3 words were shared between the two of us between the "incident" and when i left. so was she actually beastly? |
| _____________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 10:43pm - RichHorror ""] Mark is such an asshole. A handjob AND a Mr. Pibb? And he complains? THAT IS A GOOD HOST. |
| ______________________________________________ [Jan 22,2007 10:45pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] she was pretty beastly overall. her face was pretty cute but otherwise she was quite the lake troll. |