Regrettable bangs?[views:70718][posts:338]__________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 11:27am - Anthony ""] haha this thread is hilarious. i have had only good sexual experiences so I have nothing to contribute, but please keep em comin people. |
| _________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 11:27am - xmikex ""] Tom Araya [img] |
| ___________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 11:27am - SteveOTB ""] I don't like having that outlook on women but they gave me no choice. Maybe one day I'll meet some girl who will change that but until that day comes I don't see it happening at all. |
| _________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 11:28am - xmikex ""] Girl with hump... wants to hump [img] |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 11:30am - ~carina~ ""] __________________________ [Jan 23,2007 11:27am - Anthony] haha this thread is hilarious. i have had only good sexual experiences so I have nothing to contribute, but please keep em comin people. ~~~ ditto...keep 'em coming indeed! I was expecting Rich to have more stories given that he made the thread.. |
| _________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 11:32am - hybrid ""] about a week after i graduated high school i fooled around with this girl who was 15, at the time i was 17. she had the hugest tits and i wanted to see them for so long, so i did, and they were huge. the only thing i regretted is that she gave the worst head imaginable. no hand coordination, it was just mouth. i can't do that shit. their is NOTHING i hate more than a bad blowjob. it just stays with you for days, weeks, even years. |
| _________________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 11:41am - Granny_Monster ""] SteveOTB said:I don't like having that outlook on women but they gave me no choice. Maybe one day I'll meet some girl who will change that but until that day comes I don't see it happening at all. Well, your current outlook on the subject is going to make a lot of women, both good and bad, think ill of you so your chances of finding someone great might be slim. I don't know you, maybe you don't actively and outwardly hate women in real life and just keep it inside until they fuck something up... Jeez, I need to do another advice column :spineyes: |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 11:51am - dreadkill ""] hybrid said:about a week after i graduated high school i fooled around with this girl who was 15, at the time i was 17. she had the hugest tits and i wanted to see them for so long, so i did, and they were huge. the only thing i regretted is that she gave the worst head imaginable. no hand coordination, it was just mouth. i can't do that shit. their is NOTHING i hate more than a bad blowjob. it just stays with you for days, weeks, even years. i hate handjobs more than a bad blowsy. |
| _____________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 11:54am - Murph nli ""] My current girlfriend and I had been in a terrible car accident in late 2005 which almost killed us both. We were bumpin' uglies about 2 months later (I'll say now, she's only about 5'0" because itll make the anatomical basis of this plausible) and I turned in the bed to change position and I guess caught her with my leg. She flew off the bed and landed on the floor, on her neck, and then slammed into the wall. In the dark it looked like I threw a Wrestling Buddy. Luckily, she was relatively unharmed and we continued the coitus, but I am still waiting for strike three. Car accident, sex, the next blooper will be priceless. Which would pretty much ruin everything because she's amazing and fantastically attractive. NOW FEED ME A SAD HANDJOB TALE, FULL OF WOE AND SQUANDERED POTENTIAL! |
| ________________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 11:55am - Messerschmitt ""] do any chicks have any regrettable bangs or what |
| ________________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 11:58am - Messerschmitt ""] i remember the first time i heard a chick queef while banging. i said "did you just fucking fart" |
| ___________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 11:58am - SteveOTB ""] Murph nli said:My current girlfriend and I had been in a terrible car accident in late 2005 which almost killed us both. We were bumpin' uglies about 2 months later (I'll say now, she's only about 5'0" because itll make the anatomical basis of this plausible) and I turned in the bed to change position and I guess caught her with my leg. She flew off the bed and landed on the floor, on her neck, and then slammed into the wall. In the dark it looked like I threw a Wrestling Buddy. Luckily, she was relatively unharmed and we continued the coitus, but I am still waiting for strike three. Car accident, sex, the next blooper will be priceless. Which would pretty much ruin everything because she's amazing and fantastically attractive. NOW FEED ME A SAD HANDJOB TALE, FULL OF WOE AND SQUANDERED POTENTIAL! I'm pretty sure that if she's still with you now even after all that she's gonna stick with you for a long time. Hell me and my friend got into a car accident before and like 2 weeks later she told me she can't talk to me anymore. What the fuck is that? |
| ___________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 11:59am - SteveOTB ""] Granny_Monster said:SteveOTB said:I don't like having that outlook on women but they gave me no choice. Maybe one day I'll meet some girl who will change that but until that day comes I don't see it happening at all. Well, your current outlook on the subject is going to make a lot of women, both good and bad, think ill of you so your chances of finding someone great might be slim. I don't know you, maybe you don't actively and outwardly hate women in real life and just keep it inside until they fuck something up... Jeez, I need to do another advice column :spineyes: No I don't actively and outwarly hate women. I mainly keep it to myself and online ranting. Because of women I've learned to never trust anyone until they sure as hell earn it. |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 12:02pm - dreadkill ""] Murph nli said:MIn the dark it looked like I threw a Wrestling Buddy. hilarious |
| _____________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 12:04pm - Murph nli ""] I know and respect a girl I used to be with who's queefs sound like an old man's voice saying "GUFF." In fact, she's one of my all-time favorite people. She just has hilarious air emitting from her privates. GUFF. |
| ___________________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 12:08pm - SinisterMinister ""] dreadkill said:i hate handjobs more than a bad blowsy. I remember hooking up with a girl for this first time and she reached down and started yanking, much to my disdain. Well, I guess the look on my face must have given me away, she asked if there was a problem, I remarked: "I'd like to quote a very wise man here... A hand job's a man's job, yo job's a blowjob." She then laughed, quickly gathered her things and took off. |
| _________________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 12:27pm - Granny_Monster ""] SteveOTB said:Granny_Monster said:SteveOTB said:I don't like having that outlook on women but they gave me no choice. Maybe one day I'll meet some girl who will change that but until that day comes I don't see it happening at all. Well, your current outlook on the subject is going to make a lot of women, both good and bad, think ill of you so your chances of finding someone great might be slim. I don't know you, maybe you don't actively and outwardly hate women in real life and just keep it inside until they fuck something up... Jeez, I need to do another advice column :spineyes: No I don't actively and outwarly hate women. I mainly keep it to myself and online ranting. Because of women I've learned to never trust anyone until they sure as hell earn it. That's healthy enough, then. I'm actually the same way, but with everyone, not just one gender. And no, I haven't had any really regrettable sexual encounters. Nothing worth mentioning, anyway. As for my bangs? I like 'em and have never been without them. |
| ________________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 12:30pm - Messerschmitt ""] you're no fun |
| _______________________________ [Jan 23,2007 12:57pm - Yeti ""] SinisterMinister said:dreadkill said:i hate handjobs more than a bad blowsy. I remember hooking up with a girl for this first time and she reached down and started yanking, much to my disdain. Well, I guess the look on my face must have given me away, she asked if there was a problem, I remarked: "I'd like to quote a very wise man here... A hand job's a man's job, yo job's a blowjob." She then laughed, quickly gathered her things and took off. that is fucking awesome. |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 1:42pm - anonymous ""] One was some married broad from New Hampshire. Kinda lumpy with a too-freckle filled face. I honestly fucked her just because she was married and hoped it would get back to her husband and that her husband would beat her. was her name Monica? |
| _____________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 1:44pm - xanonymousx ""] RichHorror said:Pictures. you are crazy rich. |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 1:57pm - anonymous ""] Murph nli said:My current girlfriend and I had been in a terrible car accident in late 2005 which almost killed us both. We were bumpin' uglies about 2 months later (I'll say now, she's only about 5'0" because itll make the anatomical basis of this plausible) and I turned in the bed to change position and I guess caught her with my leg. She flew off the bed and landed on the floor, on her neck, and then slammed into the wall. In the dark it looked like I threw a Wrestling Buddy. Luckily, she was relatively unharmed and we continued the coitus, but I am still waiting for strike three. Car accident, sex, the next blooper will be priceless. Which would pretty much ruin everything because she's amazing and fantastically attractive. NOW FEED ME A SAD HANDJOB TALE, FULL OF WOE AND SQUANDERED POTENTIAL! psssshttt. the car accident story is way better IN FULL. |
| __________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 1:59pm - cav nli ""] anonymous! must have restarted my computer and forgot to log back in. last post was me. |
| _________________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 3:09pm - Frank Shamrock ""] Kiss her where it smells......... take her to Gloucester. |
| _____________________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 3:55pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] i almost broke my wrist during sex. that would have been an awkward explanation to the doctors. i have also miscalculated certain thrusts and such, which i'm sure many dudes can relate to. erections are not to be bent. if a book is made of all this stuff, i want to illustrate it, hahaha |
| __________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 3:57pm - SteveOTB ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:i almost broke my wrist during sex. that would have been an awkward explanation to the doctors. i have also miscalculated certain thrusts and such, which i'm sure many dudes can relate to. erections are not to be bent. if a book is made of all this stuff, i want to illustrate it, hahaha I've been in those shoes before. Girl was riding me and she bounced waaaaa toooo high and came crashing down on it. My cock hurt for like 3 weeks straight afterwards. So much for my first time having unprotected sex. She would call me up for booty calls. That was nice. |
| ________________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 4:00pm - Granny_Monster ""] MarkFuckingRichards said: if a book is made of all this stuff, i want to illustrate it, hahaha Actually, yeah! Illustrations would be much better for something like this. Rich, seriously, make it happen! |
| _____________________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 4:03pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] haha goddamn. two things that should make every man wince in pain are hearing about/seeing someone get kicked in the balls or bending a hard-on. this wasn't regrettable by any means, but fucking scared me shitless... i decided to try trojan supras, the polyeurithane (sp?) ones because i was told it doesn't feel like you even have a condom on. as i was finishing i said, "damn, these really do make it feel like there's no condom." when i pulled out to clean up, the condom was torn to fucking shreds. the only part left on me was the ring with a few little shreds hanging off. i think i stood there for 5 minutes in complete awe. my girlfriend just laughed uncontrollably because she wanted to believe it was a joke. thank fucking god there was no pregnancy. after that, and getting the circulation cut off by regular condoms i just decided to go old school. pulling out is the only way to go. |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 4:15pm - Murph nli ""] anonymous said:Murph nli said:My current girlfriend and I had been in a terrible car accident in late 2005 which almost killed us both. We were bumpin' uglies about 2 months later (I'll say now, she's only about 5'0" because itll make the anatomical basis of this plausible) and I turned in the bed to change position and I guess caught her with my leg. She flew off the bed and landed on the floor, on her neck, and then slammed into the wall. In the dark it looked like I threw a Wrestling Buddy. Luckily, she was relatively unharmed and we continued the coitus, but I am still waiting for strike three. Car accident, sex, the next blooper will be priceless. Which would pretty much ruin everything because she's amazing and fantastically attractive. NOW FEED ME A SAD HANDJOB TALE, FULL OF WOE AND SQUANDERED POTENTIAL! psssshttt. the car accident story is way better IN FULL. David. You be nice now! That's the type of shit that can get a man killed. Or worse. |
| __________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 4:51pm - cav nli ""] hahah |
| __________________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 5:31pm - davefromthegrave ""] Murph nli said:I know and respect a girl I used to be with who's queefs sound like an old man's voice saying "GUFF." In fact, she's one of my all-time favorite people. She just has hilarious air emitting from her privates. GUFF. Is her name Andrea? |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 5:49pm - Murph nli ""] davefromthegrave said:Murph nli said:I know and respect a girl I used to be with who's queefs sound like an old man's voice saying "GUFF." In fact, she's one of my all-time favorite people. She just has hilarious air emitting from her privates. GUFF. Is her name Andrea? No. But I am getting the sense there are more out there. How...intriguing. |
| __________________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 5:54pm - davefromthegrave ""] ok just checking. |
| ________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 6:19pm - Kevord ""] One of mt exgirlfriends used to piss herself whenever she was drunk and we fucked. I was usually trashed too at the time so I kind of got used to it even though it wasn't a turn on. I always cleaned my sheets the next day and cleaned my bed. After we broke up it took over a year before a girl asked me why my bedroom always smelled like piss. I guess everyone just assumed I peed the bed and were too afraid to say anything. |
| __________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 8:20pm - Archaeon ""] i'm surprised no one has spoke of trannies |
| __________________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 8:36pm - davefromthegrave ""] xmikex said:This lady looks like Robert Duvall [img] I think she looks more like ted turner |
| ___________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 8:47pm - DrewBlood ""] ya know how girls like to be on top every now and then and how its great because you can see them getting all worked up and naked? yeah, well my ex used to sit on my dick. it didn't find its way it. she'd fucking sit on it then give me this 'oops, sorry!' bullshit. christ that hurt. |
| _______________________________ [Jan 23,2007 10:19pm - Rhys ""] [img] |
| _______________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 10:36pm - hungtableed ""] RichHorror said:I am pleased at the level of hatred towards women on this board. The refusal to kiss during a bang is especially awesome. hahahahahaa. what an astute observation. |
| _______________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 10:41pm - hungtableed ""] ~carina~ said:__________________________ [Jan 23,2007 11:27am - Anthony] haha this thread is hilarious. i have had only good sexual experiences so I have nothing to contribute, but please keep em comin people. ~~~ ditto...keep 'em coming indeed! I was expecting Rich to have more stories given that he made the thread.. aye. I never fucked an ugly or a fat broad, but I am heavily enjoying reading this thread. |
| _________________________________ [Jan 23,2007 11:02pm - xmikex ""] DrewBlood said:ya know how girls like to be on top every now and then and how its great because you can see them getting all worked up and naked? yeah, well my ex used to sit on my dick. it didn't find its way it. she'd fucking sit on it then give me this 'oops, sorry!' bullshit. christ that hurt. ow. what an asshole. |
| _______________________________________ [Jan 24,2007 1:22am - miscegenator ""] Yeah, you guys go more for the pathetic lays than I do. It's usually easier to wait and simply date a high-class woman, as that way you actually get emotional and sexual satisfaction at the same time. I'm sorry you people are stranded fucking pigs, whores, sluts, HIV merchants and mulattoes/negroes, but life just has been very fortunate for me and I thank God everyday. (Just kidding about the Jewish god thankery -- HAIL SATAN!) From 1987-1993 a powerful subset of the death metal scene flourished in Sweden, thanks to a comfortingly depressing climate, public funding and a society able to tolerate such nihilistic music. These bands took the simple chunky blasting of American death metal bands and put its structural evolution to a new type of sound that relied on the fast strumming of chords and heavy digital distortion to overlap harmonic layers into smooth, columnar sounds. http://www.anus.com/metal/about/sweden |
| __________________________________________ [Jan 24,2007 1:39am - SinisterMinister ""] miscegenator said:Yeah, you guys go more for the pathetic lays than I do. It's usually easier to wait and simply date a high-class woman, as that way you actually get emotional and sexual satisfaction at the same time. I'm sorry you people are stranded fucking pigs, whores, sluts, HIV merchants and mulattoes/negroes, but life just has been very fortunate for me and I thank God everyday. (Just kidding about the Jewish god thankery -- HAIL SATAN!) You are very gay.:whipper: |
| __________________________________ [Jan 24,2007 1:59am - powerkok ""] these are truly regretable bangs: [img] |
| __________________________________ [Jan 24,2007 2:00am - powerkok ""] Thatd be like fucking Moe, with a mullet. |
| _______________________________________ [Jan 24,2007 3:27am - miscegenator ""] SinisterMinister said:You are very gay.:whipper: You're a mulatto. |
| _____________________________________ [Jan 24,2007 3:37am - MadOakDevin ""] I don't regret this one at all, but i just read a few blooper stories. this one time I was having sex with those free planned parenthood condoms. the ones that only cover the head of the dick. I swear to god no real man could fit in them. Anyway I pull out and there is no condom... it was up there somewhere. Somehow it ended up being my duty to stick two fingers up there and pull the thing out, which wasn't so easy. |
| ____________________________________ [Jan 24,2007 3:44am - RichHorror ""] haha, yeah. I've had that experience many a time. |
| _____________________________ [Jan 24,2007 5:38am - Dar ""] this is the best thread I've seen here in a long time my only regrettable bangs have been ex girlfriends where I failed to resist the temptation and then just didn't enjoy it and maybe had to deal with some awkward emotional aftermath, but no real juicy stories on the condom breaking note, I had a 16 year old girlfriend who was a virgin before she met me and maybe the second or third time we were at it I pulled out after a glorious orgasm to witness a pile of shredded latex...man, nothin kills the buzz like that I felt horrible at the time but i can't say I regret it, no harm no foul |
| _____________________________ [Jan 24,2007 5:41am - Dar ""] oh well I had an ex who was then dating one my best friends, and after a night of torturing both of them I fucked her while he was sleeping in my room he heard us and came down when we were on our second go, but just went back to sleep can't say I regret that either, I felt like a pimp and it's now a great story if you get it with all the details that i'm too tired to type |