Best band biography EVER![views:118568][posts:322]____________________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 10:23am - MikeofDecrepitude ""] Well, that was underwhelming. I read the first few paragraphs and couldn't make it through the rest. I want that minute of my life back. |
| __________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 10:25am - Doomkid ""] I reaaaally can't tell if this is a joke or not. |
| ____________________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 10:27am - MikeofDecrepitude ""] In the end, it's all a big joke. |
| _____________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 10:33am - arilliusbm ""] I think it was an attempt at making humor out of the matter, all while trying to establish a truce of sorts. One thing is clear and that if this is indeed a message from the god himself, he clearly still thinks he has the best guitar abilities on the east coast. Hey, at least he has a sense of humor. |
| _______________________________ [Jun 25,2009 10:41am - Yeti ""] yeah thats definitely a way to say "i still think i'm the best but i'm making light of that forum so people will see me as the bigger man". Bova bova Bova bova bova bova Bova bova |
| __________________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 11:17am - BoarcorpseJimbo ""] I'm shocked. Hey Jim(ARIL)- You think he's trying to "Establish a truce of sorts"? I think you're giving him too much credit in assuming he has the same cynical humor most posters here have. I think if that WAS real, he was just reaffirming the fact that he is in fact MUCH better at guitar than anyone here, and that all of our bands are jokes. What a dick. In trying to call us closed minded for not liking his music (because it's not heavy enough he says), he really proves that he has no idea what kind of people post here, and that he's just working on stereotypes. Everyone on here listens to music much less heavy than his band, the only thing is the music has to be GOOD! And now that we've gotten this far, I actually listened to "S2S". What a joke. Definitely not bad guitar playing, but not amazing. How does a band like this get such big egos? On that note, I LOVE how if you play heavier music than a band they assume you don't like them because your some sort of brutal-elite. Idiots. |
| ____________________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 11:20am - FuckIsMySignature ""] i think its high time this band gets kicked back to obscurity. |
| __________________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 11:22am - BoarcorpseJimbo ""] No offense to everyone here, because there's always exceptions... but I've known a LOT of delusional Providence bands.. |
| ________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 11:23am - Murph ""] xmikex said:like a champagne super bova in the sky This made my day. |
| _____________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 11:24am - arilliusbm ""] Yea, looking back at it (I skimmed through it) you're right Jimboar. The only sense I got from a "truce" was his tone. It reads like a joke, but I can't tell if he is being sarcastic are really does have an ego. He sure could have used the sarcasm meter in that rant. |
| _____________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 11:25am - arilliusbm ""] and Murph, xmikex plagerized that phrase from me. where's my money, bitch? |
| ________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 11:25am - Murph ""] arilliusbm said:and Murph, xmikex plagerized that phrase from me. where's my money, bitch? Oh snap. I'd tell you where your money is, but we both know Bova's got it. |
| _____________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 11:26am - arilliusbm ""] With his better house, better job, better guitar and better life? Yea, he's got money. |
| ____________________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 11:27am - FuckIsMySignature ""] dont forget better dick and balls |
| __________________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 11:28am - metal_church101 ""] Bova: "My balls are large and in charge" LULZ |
| _________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 11:28am - xmikex ""] 1. I had originally planned to do the Bovoidos photoshop and I feel like a chump for getting beaten to it. 2. Rich Bova is so epic that the only time he posts on the internet is to dictate the Ramayana of self obsession (2,013 words). 3. I'm really curious to know which one of the Photoshops Rich likes best. If it's not one of mine I'll be forced to commit seppuku. 4. For a guy with lightning bolts in his veins, and fretting fingers that make the Shiva cry with envy, he's got a pretty pedestrian sense of humor. That and I already beat him to the Guitar Hero reference. |
| __________________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 11:31am - BoarcorpseJimbo ""] ... and for someone who has THAT bio to truly not know why he's being made fun of... |
| _________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 11:31am - xmikex ""] arilliusbm said:and Murph, xmikex plagerized that phrase from me. where's my money, bitch? You made the Oasis reference, and I just put the pieces together. Or maybe I'm wrong and Gary Payton really has 8966 career plagiarisms. |
| _________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 11:33am - xmikex ""] BoarcorpseJimbo said:... and for someone who has THAT bio to truly not know why he's being made fun of... Ummm he knows exactly why.... jealousy. Heart wrenching jealousy and envy that none of us will ever accomplish what his band has. |
| __________________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 11:56am - BoarcorpseJimbo ""] right! lol |
| __________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 12:00pm - RustyPS ""] I'm jealous of his balls |
| _____________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 12:05pm - arilliusbm ""] "If you don't think sort of heavy bands like Lamb of god Slipknot and All that remains have made conscious efforts to target a mainstream audience you have no idea what the music industry is really like." I REPEAT " If you don't think sort of heavy bands like Lamb of god Slipknot and All that remains have made conscious efforts to target a mainstream audience you have no idea what the music industry is really like." |
| __________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 12:07pm - RustyPS ""] yea, in all serious, I didn't understand where that part about mainstream came from |
| __________________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 12:33pm - BobNOMAAMRooney ""] menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:I've been too busy, so I haven't had time to read it, but I just got this message in my inbox from Saint to Sinner: Date: Jun 24, 2009 8:08 PM Subject: Bova Says Put This In Your Forum Body: HAHAHAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS Fixed |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 12:42pm - goatcatalyst ""] [img] |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 12:47pm - goatcatalyst ""] menstrual_sweatpants_disco said: Bova Says I could author the Koran. PS I hope a Muslim kills you. |
| __________________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 12:57pm - BoarcorpseJimbo ""] Jim/rusty- Haha, yeah. As if the reason we make fun of his band/him is because they're doing so well with the mainstream. Like I said, people can't accept that the music they play is silly and laughable so they create other reasons why people don't like it |
| _______________________________ [Jun 25,2009 12:59pm - Yeti ""] but Bova says.. dance Bova dance Bova dance |
| _________________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 1:01pm - BoarcorpseJimbo ""] you got that wrong. I believe it's: Dance bova bova dance bova bova dance bova (repeat) |
| ________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 1:18pm - xmikex ""] Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right Bova Bova Start |
| ____________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 2:01pm - PatMeebles ""] I actually read that whole thing. Does he still not get that his band is nothing but a cheap, shitty ripoff of Lacuna Coil? Jesus, I'd rather listen to BrOkEnCyDe. |
| _________________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 2:14pm - BoarcorpseJimbo ""] I totally agree.... and i was into Lacuna Coil's album "In a Reverie", but i still can't stand S2S. |
| _________________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 2:40pm - BobNOMAAMRooney ""] LAMBOFGODSLIPKNOTALLTHATREMAINS |
| _____________________________ [Jun 25,2009 2:49pm - pam ""] Omg I keep trying to read that and my eyes are crossing. Can someone summarize? |
| _____________________________ [Jun 25,2009 2:58pm - pam ""] Thought I'd be helpful and break up the paragraph. menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:I've been too busy, so I haven't had time to read it, but I just got this message in my inbox from Saint to Sinner: Date: Jun 24, 2009 8:08 PM Subject: Bova Says Put This In Your Forum Body: So here it is, what you've all been waiting for. Finally the man himself comes to the forum to set it all straight.Yes ladies and gentlemen it is I the one the only the most talked about man on this thread for a one time only appearance. You love him you hate him you love to hate him, the immortal one known better as Rich Bova. Now lets go back a few weeks to when this all started. I guess there were a few Rhode Island Grindcore Death Metal bands who for whatever reason started bashing the band I'm in which is Saint to Sinner. We're Hard Rock/Metal not anything even close to Grindcore or Death Metal so I can understand why these bands can't comprehend what we do and that's fine I don't expect them to. Now I guess someone from somewhere in this local Grindcore "scene" sought ought my personal my space page, saw my arrogant as hell headline of "it's not bragging if you truly are the best" and that's when the Bova bash fest began from endless pages of comments to my face plastered on just about everything in almost every possible scenario. Now no one doing this actually knows me and to be perfectly honest if I saw that headline I would think the exact same thing such as what a fuckin tool this guy is. However if you did know me you would understand why its there and why its really funny rather than completely self absorbed. Now in explaining this comment am I at all backpedaling ? Hell no, I am so much better than any one of you shit talkers out there. (by the way its only about 5 people doing the bashing so anything negative is directed there way and I don't mean to catch anyone else in the crossfire) Moving on.....by better I mean my playing is better ,my band is better, anything having to do with music is better, my job is better ,my house is bigger and better, my car is faster and better ,I'm clearly better looking, my dick is well its about average but god dam it works better. My balls on the other hand...large in charge and all around better. Here I go getting ahead of things so lets just stick to music. Since the word better is pretty subjective lets replace it with the phrase more talented. Yes, that works. I'm so much more talented than you not even up for debate. Now back to the headline. Since the original headline caused such a uprising I will give you the peons a chance to change it since everything I do I do for you and its not really my space its your space. Now some of you are not that bright so I can't trust you to write one so here are your choices. 1. Rich Bova the guitar heroes guitar hero 2. Rich Bova the only thing bigger than his ego are his balls 3.Rich Bova the most hated man by shitty Rhode Island Grindcore bands. Ok time to vote peons its all up to you remember every vote counts and on July 6 one month after the legendary KC's show the new headline will be unveiled. (By the way The Unveiling is the title of the new Saint to Sinner CD on sale and downloadable soon) Now to everything that is being said about myself and the band.... I love it , its the greatest thing ever. You peons have elevated me to true rock star status and deservedly so. Some comments are really smart and funny, some are just third grade ramblings and some just make you look ignorant. Anyone reading them can tell which is which so threes no need to get into that. Now what Bova really wants (uh oh a third person reference ,wow I'm such a dusuhebag) Anyway what I really want is more Photoshop I can't get enough of it. Put my face everywhere, have me doing everything.Think outside the box. So far they are good but I know there is better in you. Let me help you out. The Jesus stuff is great but go bigger. Have me parting the waters between Narragansett and Block Island. Have me hold the Ten Guitar Commandments (actually mine would go to eleven). Have them say things like"Thou shall speedily solo at every moment possible" and "Thou shall add another string to the masters guitar rather than tune down".See, I just gave you two only nine more to go. Work with me peons we can do this together.let me turn your Epiphone Les Paul copy into a vintage 65 sunburst. Allow me to turn your nightly dinner of Ramien noodles into an endless supply of healthier heartier Chunky soup . Wait, I got it, you peons need to recreate the last supper. Obviously I'm at the head of the table and here are my apostles. Hendrix, Page, Moore ,McAlpine,Gilbert ,Loomis,Malmsteen,Michael Angelo (the guitar player not painter) Vai, Satriani, Vaughn and Petrucci.(that was for youTolias) Now ask yourself why didn't I think of that? It's easy I'm also more creative than you. Hey don't stop now. There are plenty of other religions . My face on the Buddha would be classic.I could author the Koran.I want to throw lightning bolts at Athens. Switch it up and put me in a Spider man outfit swinging across Providence Place. ...this is where I stopped reading. You should too. |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 3:00pm - boblovesmusic ""] still hurts my eyes to read that haha |
| ____________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 3:01pm - arilliusbm ""] My question is, why didn't he post it himself? Is he afraid we'll get his IP address? |
| _____________________________ [Jun 25,2009 3:01pm - pam ""] I read it in the reply box. It was easier but no less painful I assure you. |
| ____________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 3:02pm - PatMeebles ""] 1) It is I, trying to disarm the humorists by acting godlike myself 2) My dick is average, but my balls are HUGE 3) Everyone who doesn't like us only listens to grindcore and plays out of tune. 4) I play guitar better than all of you 5) Because you don't like us means you don't know anything about mainstream music and only listen to shitty grindcore. 6) I have a huge house and car and my braids are better looking than you 7) I like photoshops that make me feel better about myself 8) You're all peons or something And some other silly rantings |
| _____________________________ [Jun 25,2009 3:02pm - pam ""] arilliusbm said:My question is, why didn't he post it himself? Is he afraid we'll get his IP address? Well that would mean he'd have to interact directly with the peons. Bova don't play that. |
| _____________________________ [Jun 25,2009 3:03pm - pam ""] Thanks, Pat. |
| ____________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 3:04pm - arilliusbm ""] Gotta love how we're "peons." First we were "pawns" in a social experiment, now we're "peons" in the eyes of an obvious higher being.. what are we next? Poons? |
| ____________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 3:05pm - PatMeebles ""] No problem. I had nothing better to do so I forced my way through it. |
| _____________________________ [Jun 25,2009 3:07pm - pam ""] He looks like a terrorist, maybe infidels? |
| ______________________________ [Jun 25,2009 3:20pm - Yeti ""] what a fool. you can't dictate your own photoshopping, that robs it of its nature. |
| _________________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 3:20pm - BobNOMAAMRooney ""] THEN, when we had got down to the sea shore we drew our ship into the water and got her mast and sails into her; we also put the sheep on board and took our places, weeping and in great distress of mind. Circe, that great and cunning goddess, sent us a fair wind that blew dead aft and stayed steadily with us keeping our sails all the time well filled; so we did whatever wanted doing to the ship's gear and let her go as the wind and helmsman headed her. All day long her sails were full as she held her course over the sea, but when the sun went down and darkness was over all the earth, we got into the deep waters of the river Oceanus, where lie the land and city of the Cimmerians who live enshrouded in mist and darkness which the rays of the sun never pierce neither at his rising nor as he goes down again out of the heavens, but the poor wretches live in one long melancholy night. When we got there we beached the ship, took the sheep out of her, and went along by the waters of Oceanus till we came to the place of which Circe had told us. BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "Here Perimedes and Eurylochus held the victims, while I drew my sword and dug the trench a cubit each way. I made a drink-offering to all the dead, first with honey and milk, then with wine, and thirdly with water, and I sprinkled white barley meal over the whole, praying earnestly to the poor feckless ghosts, and promising them that when I got back to Ithaca I would sacrifice a barren heifer for them, the best I had, and would load the pyre with good things. I also particularly promised that Teiresias should have a black sheep to himself, the best in all my flocks. When I had prayed sufficiently to the dead, I cut the throats of the two sheep and let the blood run into the trench, whereon the ghosts came trooping up from Erebus- brides, young bachelors, old men worn out with toil, maids who had been crossed in love, and brave men who had been killed in battle, with their armour still smirched with blood; they came from every quarter and flitted round the trench with a strange kind of screaming sound that made me turn pale with fear. When I saw them coming I told the men to be quick and flay the carcasses of the two dead sheep and make burnt offerings of them, and at the same time to repeat prayers to Hades and to Proserpine; but I sat where I was with my sword drawn and would not let the poor feckless ghosts come near the blood till Teiresias should have answered my questions. "The first ghost 'that came was that of my comrade Elpenor, for he had not yet been laid beneath the earth. We had left his body unwaked and unburied in Circe's house, for we had had too much else to do. I was very sorry for him, and cried when I saw him: 'Elpenor,' said I, 'how did you come down here into this gloom and darkness? You have here on foot quicker than I have with my ship.'BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "'Sir,' he answered with a groan, 'it was all bad luck, and my own unspeakable drunkenness. I was lying asleep on the top of Circe's house, and never thought of coming down again by the great staircase but fell right off the roof and broke my neck, so my soul down to the house of Hades. And now I beseech you by all those whom you have left behind you, though they are not here, by your wife, by the father who brought you up when you were a child, and by Telemachus who is the one hope of your house, do what I shall now ask you. I know that when you leave this limbo you will again hold your ship for the Aeaean island. Do not go thence leaving me unwaked and unburied behind you, or I may bring heaven's anger upon you; but burn me with whatever armour I have, build a barrow for me on the sea shore, that may tell people in days to come what a poor unlucky fellow I was, and plant over my grave the oar I used to row with when I was yet alive and with my messmates.' And I said, 'My poor fellow, I will do all that you have asked of me.'BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "Thus, then, did we sit and hold sad talk with one another, I on the one side of the trench with my sword held over the blood, and the ghost of my comrade saying all this to me from the other side. Then came the ghost of my dead mother Anticlea, daughter to Autolycus. I had left her alive when I set out for Troy and was moved to tears when I saw her, but even so, for all my sorrow I would not let her come near the blood till I had asked my questions of Teiresias. "Then came also the ghost of Theban Teiresias, with his golden sceptre in his hand. He knew me and said, 'Ulysses, noble son of Laertes, why, poor man, have you left the light of day and come down to visit the dead in this sad place? Stand back from the trench and withdraw your sword that I may drink of the blood and answer your questions truly.' "So I drew back, and sheathed my sword, whereon when he had drank of the blood he began with his prophecy.BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "You want to know,' said he, 'about your return home, but heaven will make this hard for you. I do not think that you will escape the eye of Neptune, who still nurses his bitter grudge against you for having blinded his son. Still, after much suffering you may get home if you can restrain yourself and your companions when your ship reaches the Thrinacian island, where you will find the sheep and cattle belonging to the sun, who sees and gives ear to everything. If you leave these flocks unharmed and think of nothing but of getting home, you may yet after much hardship reach Ithaca; but if you harm them, then I forewarn you of the destruction both of your ship and of your men. Even though you may yourself escape, you will return in bad plight after losing all your men, [in another man's ship, and you will find trouble in your house, which will be overrun by high-handed people, who are devouring your substance under the pretext of paying court and making presents to your wife.BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "'When you get home you will take your revenge on these suitors; and after you have killed them by force or fraud in your own house, you must take a well-made oar and carry it on and on, till you come to a country where the people have never heard of the sea and do not even mix salt with their food, nor do they know anything about ships, and oars that are as the wings of a ship. I will give you this certain token which cannot escape your notice. A wayfarer will meet you and will say it must be a winnowing shovel that you have got upon your shoulder; on this you must fix the oar in the ground and sacrifice a ram, a bull, and a boar to Neptune. Then go home and offer hecatombs to an the gods in heaven one after the other. As for yourself, death shall come to you from the sea, and your life shall ebb away very gently when you are full of years and peace of mind, and your people shall bless you. All that I have said will come true].'BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "'This,' I answered, 'must be as it may please heaven, but tell me and tell me and tell me true, I see my poor mother's ghost close by us; she is sitting by the blood without saying a word, and though I am her own son she does not remember me and speak to me; tell me, Sir, how I can make her know me.'BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "'That,' said he, 'I can soon do Any ghost that you let taste of the blood will talk with you like a reasonable being, but if you do not let them have any blood they will go away again.'BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "On this the ghost of Teiresias went back to the house of Hades, for his prophecyings had now been spoken, but I sat still where I was until my mother came up and tasted the blood. Then she knew me at once and spoke fondly to me, saying, 'My son, how did you come down to this abode of darkness while you are still alive? It is a hard thing for the living to see these places, for between us and them there are great and terrible waters, and there is Oceanus, which no man can cross on foot, but he must have a good ship to take him. Are you all this time trying to find your way home from Troy, and have you never yet got back to Ithaca nor seen your wife in your own house?' "'Mother,' said I, 'I was forced to come here to consult the ghost of the Theban prophet Teiresias. I have never yet been near the Achaean land nor set foot on my native country, and I have had nothing but one long series of misfortunes from the very first day that I set out with Agamemnon for Ilius, the land of noble steeds, to fight the Trojans. But tell me, and tell me true, in what way did you die? Did you have a long illness, or did heaven vouchsafe you a gentle easy passage to eternity? Tell me also about my father, and the son whom I left behind me; is my property still in their hands, or has some one else got hold of it, who thinks that I shall not return to claim it? Tell me again what my wife intends doing, and in what mind she is; does she live with my son and guard my estate securely, or has she made the best match she could and married again?'BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "My mother answered, 'Your wife still remains in your house, but she is in great distress of mind and spends her whole time in tears both night and day. No one as yet has got possession of your fine property, and Telemachus still holds your lands undisturbed. He has to entertain largely, as of course he must, considering his position as a magistrate, and how every one invites him; your father remains at his old place in the country and never goes near the town. He has no comfortable bed nor bedding; in the winter he sleeps on the floor in front of the fire with the men and goes about all in rags, but in summer, when the warm weather comes on again, he lies out in the vineyard on a bed of vine leaves thrown anyhow upon the ground. He grieves continually about your never having come home, and suffers more and more as he grows older. As for my own end it was in this wise: heaven did not take me swiftly and painlessly in my own house, nor was I attacked by any illness such as those that generally wear people out and kill them, but my longing to know what you were doing and the force of my affection for you- this it was that was the death of me.'BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "Then I tried to find some way of embracing my mother's ghost. Thrice I sprang towards her and tried to clasp her in my arms, but each time she flitted from my embrace as it were a dream or phantom, and being touched to the quick I said to her, 'Mother, why do you not stay still when I would embrace you? If we could throw our arms around one another we might find sad comfort in the sharing of our sorrows even in the house of Hades; does Proserpine want to lay a still further load of grief upon me by mocking me with a phantom only?'BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "'My son,' she answered, 'most ill-fated of all mankind, it is not Proserpine that is beguiling you, but all people are like this when they are dead. The sinews no longer hold the flesh and bones together; these perish in the fierceness of consuming fire as soon as life has left the body, and the soul flits away as though it were a dream. Now, however, go back to the light of day as soon as you can, and note all these things that you may tell them to your wife hereafter.' "Thus did we converse, and anon Proserpine sent up the ghosts of the wives and daughters of all the most famous men. They gathered in crowds about the blood, and I considered how I might question them severally. In the end I deemed that it would be best to draw the keen blade that hung by my sturdy thigh, and keep them from all drinking the blood at once. So they came up one after the other, and each one as I questioned her told me her race and lineage.BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "The first I saw was Tyro. She was daughter of Salmoneus and wife of Cretheus the son of Aeolus. She fell in love with the river Enipeus who is much the most beautiful river in the whole world. Once when she was taking a walk by his side as usual, Neptune, disguised as her lover, lay with her at the mouth of the river, and a huge blue wave arched itself like a mountain over them to hide both woman and god, whereon he loosed her virgin girdle and laid her in a deep slumber. When the god had accomplished the deed of love, he took her hand in his own and said, 'Tyro, rejoice in all good will; the embraces of the gods are not fruitless, and you will have fine twins about this time twelve months. Take great care of them. I am Neptune, so now go home, but hold your tongue and do not tell any one.'BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "Then he dived under the sea, and she in due course bore Pelias and Neleus, who both of them served Jove with all their might. Pelias was a great breeder of sheep and lived in Iolcus, but the other lived in Pylos. The rest of her children were by Cretheus, namely, Aeson, Pheres, and Amythaon, who was a mighty warrior and charioteer. "Next to her I saw Antiope, daughter to Asopus, who could boast of having slept in the arms of even Jove himself, and who bore him two sons Amphion and Zethus. These founded Thebes with its seven gates, and built a wall all round it; for strong though they were they could not hold Thebes till they had walled it. BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "Then I saw Alcmena, the wife of Amphitryon, who also bore to Jove indomitable Hercules; and Megara who was daughter to great King Creon, and married the redoubtable son of Amphitryon. "I also saw fair Epicaste mother of king OEdipodes whose awful lot it was to marry her own son without suspecting it. He married her after having killed his father, but the gods proclaimed the whole story to the world; whereon he remained king of Thebes, in great grief for the spite the gods had borne him; but Epicaste went to the house of the mighty jailor Hades, having hanged herself for grief, and the avenging spirits haunted him as for an outraged mother- to his ruing bitterly thereafter. BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "Then I saw Chloris, whom Neleus married for her beauty, having given priceless presents for her. She was youngest daughter to Amphion son of Iasus and king of Minyan Orchomenus, and was Queen in Pylos. She bore Nestor, Chromius, and Periclymenus, and she also bore that marvellously lovely woman Pero, who was wooed by all the country round; but Neleus would only give her to him who should raid the cattle of Iphicles from the grazing grounds of Phylace, and this was a hard task. The only man who would undertake to raid them was a certain excellent seer, but the will of heaven was against him, for the rangers of the cattle caught him and put him in prison; nevertheless when a full year had passed and the same season came round again, Iphicles set him at liberty, after he had expounded all the oracles of heaven. Thus, then, was the will of Jove accomplished. "And I saw Leda the wife of Tyndarus, who bore him two famous sons, Castor breaker of horses, and Pollux the mighty boxer. Both these heroes are lying under the earth, though they are still alive, for by a special dispensation of Jove, they die and come to life again, each one of them every other day throughout all time, and they have the rank of gods. BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "After her I saw Iphimedeia wife of Aloeus who boasted the embrace of Neptune. She bore two sons Otus and Ephialtes, but both were short lived. They were the finest children that were ever born in this world, and the best looking, Orion only excepted; for at nine years old they were nine fathoms high, and measured nine cubits round the chest. They threatened to make war with the gods in Olympus, and tried to set Mount Ossa on the top of Mount Olympus, and Mount Pelion on the top of Ossa, that they might scale heaven itself, and they would have done it too if they had been grown up, but Apollo, son of Leto, killed both of them, before they had got so much as a sign of hair upon their cheeks or chin. BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "Then I saw Phaedra, and Procris, and fair Ariadne daughter of the magician Minos, whom Theseus was carrying off from Crete to Athens, but he did not enjoy her, for before he could do so Diana killed her in the island of Dia on account of what Bacchus had said against her. "I also saw Maera and Clymene and hateful Eriphyle, who sold her own husband for gold. But it would take me all night if I were to name every single one of the wives and daughters of heroes whom I saw, and it is time for me to go to bed, either on board ship with my crew, or here. As for my escort, heaven and yourselves will see to it." Here he ended, and the guests sat all of them enthralled and speechless throughout the covered cloister. Then Arete said to them: "What do you think of this man, O Phaecians? Is he not tall and good looking, and is he not Clever? True, he is my own guest, but all of you share in the distinction. Do not he a hurry to send him away, nor niggardly in the presents you make to one who is in such great need, for heaven has blessed all of you with great abundance." Then spoke the aged hero Echeneus who was one of the oldest men among them, "My friends," said he, "what our august queen has just said to us is both reasonable and to the purpose, therefore be persuaded by it; but the decision whether in word or deed rests ultimately with King Alcinous." BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "The thing shall be done," exclaimed Alcinous, "as surely as I still live and reign over the Phaeacians. Our guest is indeed very anxious to get home, still we must persuade him to remain with us until to-morrow, by which time I shall be able to get together the whole sum that I mean to give him. As regards- his escort it will be a matter for you all, and mine above all others as the chief person among you." And Ulysses answered, "King Alcinous, if you were to bid me to stay here for a whole twelve months, and then speed me on my way, loaded with your noble gifts, I should obey you gladly and it would redound greatly to my advantage, for I should return fuller-handed to my own people, and should thus be more respected and beloved by all who see me when I get back to Ithaca." BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "Ulysses," replied Alcinous, "not one of us who sees you has any idea that you are a charlatan or a swindler. I know there are many people going about who tell such plausible stories that it is very hard to see through them, but there is a style about your language which assures me of your good disposition. Moreover you have told the story of your own misfortunes, and those of the Argives, as though you were a practised bard; but tell me, and tell me true, whether you saw any of the mighty heroes who went to Troy at the same time with yourself, and perished there. The evenings are still at their longest, and it is not yet bed time- go on, therefore, with your divine story, for I could stay here listening till to-morrow morning, so long as you will continue to tell us of your adventures." "Alcinous," answered Ulysses, "there is a time for making speeches, and a time for going to bed; nevertheless, since you so desire, I will not refrain from telling you the still sadder tale of those of my comrades who did not fall fighting with the Trojans, but perished on their return, through the treachery of a wicked woman. BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "When Proserpine had dismissed the female ghosts in all directions, the ghost of Agamemnon son of Atreus came sadly up tome, surrounded by those who had perished with him in the house of Aegisthus. As soon as he had tasted the blood he knew me, and weeping bitterly stretched out his arms towards me to embrace me; but he had no strength nor substance any more, and I too wept and pitied him as I beheld him. 'How did you come by your death,' said I, 'King Agamemnon? Did Neptune raise his winds and waves against you when you were at sea, or did your enemies make an end of you on the mainland when you were cattle-lifting or sheep-stealing, or while they were fighting in defence of their wives and city?' BERATERS IS NOT A WORD "'Ulysses,' he answered, 'noble son of Laertes, was not lost post was too long read more at your own risk |
| ______________________________ [Jun 25,2009 3:22pm - Yeti ""] Bovapasta |
| _________________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 3:24pm - BoarcorpseJimbo ""] ^^a dish served best shredded. |
| _________________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 3:25pm - BobNOMAAMRooney ""] Yeti said:Bovapasta Actually it's WretchedAsylumpasta, which has the same recipe as Bovapasta but cooked five years ago. |
| ____________________________________ [Jun 25,2009 4:55pm - xgodzillax ""] hahahahaha. i told him that i wanted to fight him. and fuck a 7-11. we'll take it to the street son |